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Hello, I am new to this forum and the divorce process. I am wondering if you hve to split 50% of EVERYTHING (my house, saving bonds, pension,). I have worked during most of the marriage (approx. 32 years), my husband has only worked for maybe 4 years of our entire marrige (and this is not due to any form of issues related to health- just laziness) . He lives off of me and contributes absolutely nothing. Please and thanks in advance for your responses.
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I feel sorry for you but he does get half and may be get spousal support on top of it. I know you feel like he doesn't deserve it but that is the way the law is. Did you have any kids that he was a stay at home dad to??
I really do feel sorry for you and wish I could have given you some positive news. The only thing is that if you get divorced you will be rid of his lazy ass. -
Unfortunately, standing on the sidelines is right. Sounds unfair I know but that's how things are.
You could however talk to him and ask for more than half, but it is up to him to accept it.Comment
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Would it still be unfair if the situation were reversed? My ex was also lazy but she got more than half plus spousal support. More than half because she wanted to drag the matter and I wanted to save the legal fees. I still won because I have moved on with my life and am happy with what I have now.Originally posted by Elvis View Post
Family law is all about rewarding lazy people. (After all, being lazy is a tough job in itself.) They would give him free lawyer too, if you refused to give in. Best, settle out of court and move on.Comment
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Originally posted by singledad99 View Post
I'm not being bias. Unfair is unfair. Just like you, I gave most of our assets to my ex because after I calculated, it wasn't worth the court battles, and I am happy with what I have now again.Comment
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If you don't want to share everything 50/50, don't get married. Marriage isn't a toy, it's not just something you do because you want the party. It means joining your lives together. What you end up with after 10, 20, 30 years, belongs to both of you, because you decided to join your lives together. It wasn't just words, it was an action that had consequences.
It sucks. Just like it sucks that I was trying to fix something, overtightened the nut, the bolt snapped, and it ended up being a thousand dollars damage when the whole thing came apart. There are consequences to making the wrong decision.
If you have problems with your spouse, you have the option to leave early, and minimize the damage. If you choose not to, that's another choice to have consequences for.Comment
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Originally posted by MissMiller View Post
All of the posters to your question are right, the thing is men have been going through this for decades and dealing with an unfair, and bias system, in fact we still are. I think the best you can do, as a person that's been through the courts and knows that the costs associated are astronomical. Just settle out, or you will find yourself going through 50-60K in legal fees, oh, and if you lose, good possibility paying his costs too. Nobody wins, if you don't have children that you need to worry about, divide everything up, avoid the high costs of lawyers, if you need to pay SS, then maybe you can negotiate a reasonable settlement.
One thing that you might want to look at is that he'll have to look at trying to find some sort of work, if able, and you might get a reduction of SS. But if my memory serves me, there are a lot of men out there that are trying to claim the samething without much success, lots of money needed for court.Comment
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There's nothing preventing the spouses engaging in Separation agreement...Comment
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Except mutually good common sense. Unfortunately, that is very rare when it comes to separation and divorce, and even more rare for those involved in litigation.Originally posted by logicalvelocity View PostComment
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to me i do not care if it is a woman or a man. It is unfair no matter what.Originally posted by singledad99 View PostComment
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Originally posted by logicalvelocity View Post
Yeah, way ahead of you LOL, I mention that at the end of my 1st paragraph.
I know I wish I could have done this, would have saved my children's college fund....now the lawyers have it. With all the money in CS she gets, my hope is that she's putting away money for them.
It's a shame, but in some circumstances what do you do? Giving up on my children, was not something I could rest with. This is far more than about money.Comment
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LOL - I guess you are - so why didn't you...You did have a choice...then?Originally posted by LostFather View PostComment
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Originally posted by logicalvelocity View Post
Well, as a matter of fact I wanted to do all this without lawyers, well except her's. We/she drew up the agreement, I looked it over, changed a few things, seemed to be okay, just not signed...she moved out, took the children, the rest is history...it was all just a ruse until she got out with the children. Once this was done...all bets were off. I got suckered....let me rephrase, I allowed myself to get suckered, I thought she would deal in good faith...not!
I saved this woman from certain death, I never thought she'd repay me with this disaster!Comment
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Originally posted by logicalvelocity View Post
Oh, hey, I said I wanted to, didn't say I could make it happen
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