OCL took the case!

[billiechic]

Got a call last night from the Children's lawyer. I have an appointment on Sunday at 10am.
Does anyone have some advice?? I asked if I should bring anything and he said no. He should be obtaining paperwork from my lawyer

[danzuchy]

Got a call last night from the Children's lawyer. I have an appointment on Sunday at 10am.
Does anyone have some advice?? I asked if I should bring anything and he said no. He should be obtaining paperwork from my lawyer

Me too. Just got notice last week. No appt. yet but soon.

My lawyer is estatic but I am not convinced about this. I heard horror stories about OCL . They are like CAS. When they go bad, they go bad.


Anyways, how old are your children? My worry is mine are a lot younger than OCL usually takes on.

[billiechic]

My daughter is 3, almost 4.
The OCL does not have an age limit. It depends on why they are involved. If you are asking that their opinion or wishes about whom to live with are considered, that is the only reason they would have an "age limit"

In my case they are asked to help because it was an abusive relationship and my ex is very manipulative. We currently share 50/50 time and court has ordered temporary joint custody.

[dadtotheend]

Here's my OCL story:

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...olvement-2842/

[billiechic]

Thanks DTTE. I read through it all and I have a better idea of what this means now.

My paralegal suggested I bring my journal with me as well.

[logicalvelocity]

This may be helpful...

Ministry of the Attorney General - The Office of the Children's Lawyer

[LostFather]

I went through an OCL. I asked for it on 2 occasions, was fought by the other side. Finally going to trial, then they want an OCL, so ordered!

It took 11 months to get a 26 page report, that included multiple 2-4 hour visits in each home. My ex was (is) fighting joint custody and equal access. The report was supportive of my position, and was less than flattering about the mother.

So careful what you ask for, be sure that you asking for the right reasons and that you're sure what the outcome will be. Me, I had no reservations, I was sure...but then again, so thought my ex. It back fired on her.

Here's the kicker though, the judge who never met the children, basically ignored the report and the children's wishes.

[billiechic]

I'm sorry that your outcome was so horrible. Thanks for your answer though.

Both sides asked for OCL. I asked because it was an abusive relationship and the father continues to try to manipulate and control me using our child. He asked becasue he wants joint custody (which is not reasonable due to the controlling). He currently has 50/50, and I am willing to continue with that. He has already withheld his consent on major medical decisions twice since separation (9 months).

[danzuchy]

I'm sorry that your outcome was so horrible. Thanks for your answer though.

Both sides asked for OCL. I asked because it was an abusive relationship and the father continues to try to manipulate and control me using our child. He asked becasue he wants joint custody (which is not reasonable due to the controlling). He currently has 50/50, and I am willing to continue with that. He has already withheld his consent on major medical decisions twice since separation (9 months).

I'm confused. If you have 50-50 (I presume that's joint), why is te OCL coming on board? Or is it time share 50-50 but you want sole custody?

[billiechic]

time is shared 50/50. Interim it is joint. He coerced me into shared custody by threatening to take her and by torturing me in the last months before separation. In a case like this it is unlikely the court would change interim custody or statu quo (and take away his legal rights) until the facts of the case have been heard.

I just want the legal capacity to make decisions, since he has shown that he can't put her interests first. Actually he has made several decisions against me just for spite. I'm still willing to hear his ideas too (in writing), but I want the ability to make the best decision for my child when we can't agree. I can see him draggin me back to court or into mediation over and over just out of spite.

My decision to either settle or proceed to trial has a lot to do with whatever the OCL recommends

[dadtotheend]

He coerced me into shared custody by threatening to take her and by torturing me in the last months before separation.

How did he torture you?

Good luck today Billie.

[LostFather]

Yes, as the above post commonly makes the mistake and doesn't differentiate between custody and access, they are 2 separate issues.

I can tell you that the OCL process is nerve racking to say the least, and as the mother you may have the upper hand, but as you've talked about is the status quo.

In my experience with the OCL, it was positive, I wish I could say the same for Judge.

This is one of my posts regarding my experience with the OCL and trail, and the judge I was unfortunate to get.

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...html#post40553

If you are looking for the OCL to get involved, be careful. You really need to weigh the pro's and con's.

I know that after receiving notice about the investigation was complete we went with council (separately) to get the verbal findings, then if you or the other party does not like what's said...like with my ex, she walked out and left her lawyer sitting there by himself, then you go to trial. Trail is a very costly endeavor, mine was 5 days over the span of a month and a half. I of course excepted her recommendations. She didn't not!

She objected to the fact that the OCL, for her anger towards me wanted her to get therapy, she tried to get me fired, we worked for the same company, I had a letter from the school, I sent it through inter office envelope, though against company policy (so is stealing a pen), anyway, she brought it to my boss, I got reprimanded. This is just one of the many issues, including accessing my personal file, stealing docs and bringing it to trail as evidence.

Anyway, at trail, she brought her rosary beads and the male judge bought her junk. Hence the appeal. Hopefully through the errors in law I will have some sort of chance to get his ruling overturned...we'll see.

[Mess]

Yes, as the above post commonly makes the mistake and doesn't differentiate between custody and access, they are 2 separate issues.

No, billie knows her stuff. She has no problem with sharing access, but her ex uses custodial decisions like their daughters surgery to be controlling.

[LostFather]

No, billie knows her stuff. She has no problem with sharing access, but her ex uses custodial decisions like their daughters surgery to be controlling.

Sorry, I was referring to Danchusy's post

[LostFather]

Sorry, I was referring to Danchusy's post

Been there done that, my ex booked surgery for my son and didn't consult, I one found out by accident, the surgeon phone my number, when they spoke to me, I was confused and didn't know what was going on. The Doc was extremely upset, I guess she when in for consult, and was talking as if she had custody and decision making at the time, which she did not. He was prepared to cancel the surgery, only I talked him out of doing that, I believe she got a tongue lashing...but that was the end of that one.

The children are baptized Catholic, she has now changed that, didn't inform me or consult, not even sure if the new church is aware. She doing everything to erase me or any part of me from the children lives. She calls me by my first name when I call, the children ask who's on the phone, she uses my first name instead of dad, they have no idea or had no idea what my first name was LOL, children are innocent and now being used as weapons for anger and revenge, very sad.......on and on it goes.