GRRRRR....please help!

[billiechic]

Just when things are looking so sunny and I am feeling good, somethign has to come around and cut me off at the knees.

Someone please tell me how to deal with this. I sent a letter detailing the remaining money on the bills from our house. I paid my share and asked him to pay half, plus the month when he was living there by himself (I paid for the 2 months that I lived there by myself already). He is throwing a fit over $40 and refusing to pay that bill!!

We agreed in the temporary order in March that he accepted that I had paid him CS by paying his insurance from August onward. He bought a new car in March, never provided me the documents showing that my name had been removed from the lease and I could cancel the insurance (in my name). I paid an extra month of insurance (April) then finally got the documents myself to cancel insurance. So I was to start forwarding CS to him in May.

I sent a letter asking that the overpayment (insurance was 106.25.month, CS offset is $93) be applied to the May CS and that the remainder of the overpayment be a wash. We never agreed that I wouldn't be credited with this overpayment, even though it was only $120, I think it's fair that I get the credit. He is throwing a fit over $93! Defied the court order of no communication by calling me (at work!) and causing an argument!

What do I do? Do I sent him the $93 and somehow note that I am not in agreement? He also agreed to return $200 of UCCB to me, but has not followed through. He expects that the rules can swing his way, but then doesn't have to follow through when it applies to him. I really thought we were on the way to settlement, but I guess not. He just told me he was still going through the court.AGHHHH!!

[tugofwar]

In all honesty I think you should pick your battles. I know it's just money and it doesn't seem like much to argue about. I would not just pay and maybe wait it out. I don't think you will have much to worry about over a few hundred dollars. Document everything and maybe once you start to negotiate again regarding finances then bring it up.
Take a deep breathe, it's not worth it in the end to fight over money. He's not being co-operative with you and you know this, and honey, sorry I don't think he is going to change....... keep that in mind.
ps- are you registered with FRO?

[billiechic]

I know. I actually was willing to let the $200 slip, I only mentioned it after he asked me for the fourth time where "his CS" is. I don't want to argue about it. The lawyers both thought that I shouldn't even be paying CS since our current incomes are so close. It was my decision to pay according to the previous year's line 150, which is why I have to pay. I honestly thought he would be able to look at the paperwork I sent, see that it was fair and just sign off on it. Pretty naive of me, since this has been the same result every time I offer something fair.

He is the one making a big deal. I just want to know what this will look like on me if I don't pay for May. And how to document it as not agreeing that I don't get the credit. ( under duress??)

And of course how to have peace... any ideas??

[tugofwar]

Have you tried sending him an email asking why he is always so against you when all you have been doing is trying to resolve problems and not cause more conflict? Stating that he is not being co-operative with you on all matters and it's getting both of you no where?
Just a suggestion....

[piggybanktoex]

It's all part of this whole stupid divorce stuff.

My ex is raving on about a service charge of $35 (on a $5000 50-50 split) section 7 thing.

Her entire income is my 6 figure support payment, yet I have to receive 10 e-mails about how she shouldn't have to cover the $35

It's only money, but there is a principal in there somewhere. Being nickel-ed and dime-ed is a pain too.

[NBDad]

I know. I actually was willing to let the $200 slip, I only mentioned it after he asked me for the fourth time where "his CS" is. I don't want to argue about it. The lawyers both thought that I shouldn't even be paying CS since our current incomes are so close. It was my decision to pay according to the previous year's line 150, which is why I have to pay. I honestly thought he would be able to look at the paperwork I sent, see that it was fair and just sign off on it. Pretty naive of me, since this has been the same result every time I offer something fair.

He is the one making a big deal. I just want to know what this will look like on me if I don't pay for May. And how to document it as not agreeing that I don't get the credit. ( under duress??)

Write him an email detailing the information. Dock the "cs" payments until what he owes is caught up. Do you have an actual agreement in place yet? (ie. signed off on?)

[billiechic]

He doesn't have email and refuses to get one. I think it would solve half of our issues if he did. We are not supposed to communicate except in writing, but with week on week off the communication takes too long. And so I am forced to talk to him on the phone when something important comes up.

We don't have anything formal. He refuses to sign anything. I bet if I sent him a paper asking him to agree to disagree he wouldn't even sign that!

[billiechic]

Write him an email detailing the information. Dock the "cs" payments until what he owes is caught up. Do you have an actual agreement in place yet? (ie. signed off on?)

Can't dock CS payments. he owes me $200 from UCCB, but that is not related to CS. I've heard (read) that the court frowns upon any sort of docking of CS, as it is separate from everything and for the child. I am worried that reducing it below my table amount would look bad, and I would be judged regardless of the reason.

It's not a big deal if I walk away from the $200 and still pay him the month's CS, we'll still have food on the table. I'm just worried that it will come back and bite me on the butt.

[NBDad]

Well send the breakdown in writing via your current process. Don't accept his phone calls. His choice then boils down to getting an email account to communicate with you (let's face it, he probably HAS one, he just refuses to give it to you), or waiting for a week+ to get responses.

Refuse anything verbal, you can't use it. Writing you can. Email you can.
Cover your butt, as it appears he wants to be difficult.

[NBDad]

Have you guys completed any kind of equalization yet? If not, then indicate to him in writing, that you will be applying the 200 he owes as well as the insurance overpayment to the equalization.

[billiechic]

Yes, I know. I already did that. The whole discussion started via a letter I sent, and then he texted me and I replied. I only answered the phone since the caller ID said his sister's name. I was worried my daughter was sick.

Thanks for the advice though!

[billiechic]

Have you guys completed any kind of equalization yet? If not, then indicate to him in writing, that you will be applying the 200 he owes as well as the insurance overpayment to the equalization.

That IS a good idea. We haven't gotten to that point. I was hoping paying off the bills fairly would have taken care of that so we didn't have to deal with it at equalization. I've already called the utility companies and indicated that if he hadn't paid off the accounts by the end of the month that I would pay them.

It doesn't solve the underlying issue, but it would diffuse the situation for now. Should I go ahead and transfer the CS then?