Thought I was through........

[Gwen]

My wife & I finally got our separation agreement in place - she got the house (it has been transferred to her name), all of the contents of a (3) bedroom home (I DID get one TV, stand, satellite receiver/remote, my clothes & my pension) and I was looking soooo forward to moving on but.....

She's started e-mailing MY lawyer about issues that we had agreed on outside of the agreement. One of the issues involves firewood that I had purchased and she had agreed to purchase it at a price of $600 when the going market would be in the $1100 range. She refuses to pay me and has advised my lawyer that it has to be removed from the property by March 1st or it will become hers. Yes, I know that it's a tactic by her to get it free of charge. The ironical thing is that I had asked her to put the purchase in writing and her comment was "Don't you trust me?"

She has also advised me to remove an operational vehicle that I had left behind for my son who is 18 & will be attending university in the fall of 2006. She had agreed that it would be the perfect transportation for him??????

Both the wood and the vehicle are buried under mounds of snow &, to abide by her orders, I will have to hire a backhoe & dumptruck and this has to be done after giving her 72 hours notice! Is she being reasonable?

In addition, she made a number of slanderous statements about fearing for her safety when there NEVER has been any abuse of any type during our marriage or after it ended! She even states that if I enter the property by any means (even to pick up my son) without 72 hours notice, that the proper authorities will be advised & I will be charged!!!!!!! She has even threatened to get a restraining order prohibiting me and my girlfriend from attending my 18 year old son's hockey games! (We ALL behave in an adult manner at any games and she has even approached me at games to calmly discuss matters pertaining to the kids)

She was the one who left the marriage (for another man) and refused to consider counselling of any type. After making sure that there was no chance of reconciliation, I moved on & am now with a wonderful woman - who she's now saying that she left because I was with the other woman. Not at all true and I was faithful throughout my 20 year marriage. I'm assuming that she's just upset because I've moved on & she's with a guy who she shares with his wife. What's that saying.... the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence......

I'm just tired of her being angry, jealous and vindictive behaviour. Any suggestions to this problem of mine? to make sure that it ENDS!


G


PS: my lawyer has advised her lawyer that correspondence is to go lawyer to lawyer only & she will not respond to any of my exes e-mails.

[sasha1]

Wow! You've certainly got your hands full with that one! What does your lawyer say about the legality of her demanding removal of the firewood and vehicle, and about the threatened restraining order? I'm guessing she would have a tough time with that restraining order, but she might have a leg to stand on with property removal. Frankly, I'd be inclined to advertise the firewood for a very reasonable price (maybe what you offered it to her for), and stipulate that the buyer pick it up by say, the 25th. Then if you don't get a buyer, you've got three more days to drop the price. Actually, I'd offer it up as "free for pickup" before letting her push you around that way!

With the car, can you not sell it to your son directly for a minimal amount? Then it's not your ex's property or yours, and your son has the transportation you were aiming for.

Your ex does sound very angry and vindictive; I'd just avoid and ignore the behavior as much as possible, and show as little reaction as possible. She'll either cool off and stop the garbage, or it'll escalate until she hangs herself.

[Gwen]

Thought I was through with her..........

I have arranged for someone to purchase the firewood and they're thrilled with the price. There is a tandem load of logs (about 16 cord) which has been cut & split but not piled and that's her issue. The normal fee for this wood would be approx. $75/cord delivered & we agreed on $600 (a bargain don't you think!). The buyer has a backhoe & dump truck & will pick up himself..... might just make a bit of mess in the backyard of HER house though The ironical thing is that she heats the house with wood and is running low so she'll have to buy herself wood at $75+/cord..... oh well, who said that she was logical!

About the car.... she won't allow my son to park the car in HER driveway so that's not an option for me. My son isn't too happy about the whole thing but what else can I do. It's an issue he can take up with his mother.

I have not said anything to my kids about their mother's actions throughout the separation agreement process but I had to share this latest with them - especially the insinuations she was making about abuse - as she has been lying to them about what's been going on. I felt that it was about time they knew the truth as I'm NOT the bad guy that their mother is trying to make me out to be but their father who wants to be part of their lives. My "kids" are 18 & 20 - old enough to hear the truth.

[logicalvelocity]

Gwen,

why don't you register the vehicle into the child's name. If your ex is so determined to have this vehicle removed from her property, it sends a clear message to the child that their possessions are not welcomed on same.


LV

[Gwen]

Thought I was through with her......

PS:

My lawyer advises me to just do what she wants done - wood & car - if possible to try to appease her. I'm just concerned that this is just the beginning of a list of requests/issues.

I will say that if the accusations of abuse and her fearing for her safety, etc. continue, I will be seeking legal advice about slander as I have NEVER, I repeat NEVER, abused her in any way - physically or mentally.

[sasha1]

You may be right; this may be just the beginning of a list of requests, etc, but even if you decide to take your lawyer's advice and appease her now, that doesn't obligate you to continue to do so later.

[Gwen]

Just an Update.....

The car gifted to my son has been moved to another locaton for my son when he goes off to university in Sept 2006. The wood has been moved - the ex DID reoffer to buy it from me at the originally agreed upon price but I said "No" as I'd already made the necessary arrangements to sell it.

My lawyer has advised her lawyer that my ex is NOT to correspond with her and that all correspondence is to be lawyer to lawyer considering that my ex won't speak to me.

My lawyer has also advised her lawyer that any slanderous comments about "fearing for her safety" etc. will be dealt with in the courts if that's where my ex wants to take it. My ex has been very quiet since then.

Hopefully that's it! and on with the divorce!