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  • can I get an emergency motion

    Hi all.
    I have read for awhile the helpful advice given here and so because I cannot see my lawyer for a week and don't want to get charged for the email I will put my problem out there.
    I have been, for a long time, in the same house with my ex. He has had a new girlfriend etc. we just have not been a couple for 2 years. He had a judge tell him he should move at CC but the case was dismissed (administratively) I had a sloppy lawyer, and ex was sick for a while so I let it ride. Now he has bought a place but he still won't move his stuff (no mortgage payments, he has a rich family!) . He wants support, has a lawyer, and won't move the rest of his stuff til he gets what he wants. He doesn't work (nothing wrong with him medically), doesn't look after the kids, and contributes nothing. He does day trading which he makes no money at (none comes my way anyways) and spends all his time on that - he might as well be at the slot machine at Casino Rama, he sleeps most of the day as well.
    He is used to being supported but the real problem now is he is doing what he wants with impunity. He is being a prick about money. I am just about broke and he just received a cheque and will not contribute anything. If I ask him for help or anything he says I am attacking him and he is going to call the police. He takes things from the house without discussing it with me
    (we are common law) including things which are not technically his. I have paid for everything since the start of the relationship.
    I have never raised my voice to him or anything but when I called the police they said yes, he can bring me up on false charges and my lawyer just said "don't make him angry" - I am not making him angry I am acting like a normal human being around the house and he is actually screaming at me!. Why do I have to put up with his threats? Isn't this just a case of the court system rewarding the most aggressive person?
    This is a strain on my kids too - they have to do without financially, despite his family being millionaires, because he is so unreasonable. It is also embarrassing and tense for them as this has been going on for so long. Why can't I move out? How can it be in "the best interests of the children" to sit and watch this scene for years?
    Can't my lawyer get him out quickly?
    Thanks for your advice!

  • #2
    k so he has bought another place? With what??

    take pictures of the stuff left and make a list of what he has taken that is yours. If there is anything in the house now that is important to you and is totally yours remove it from the home before he does.

    Keep track of when he starts screaming at you and if there is a witness, all the better. Cut off the internet if that is where he does his day trading on, in fact just have the basics you need like heat and hydro. Maybe once all the extras are gone he will decide that his place is better then your place.

    It doesn't matter how well off his family is, it is up to him to support the kids, not them.

    The house you live in, it is a rental or do you and he own it together? If you guys own it, could buy him out?

    How old are the kids and are they his? The chance of him getting support from you while you are the one with the kids is unrealistic. No judge is going to give some form of SS to the parent that doesn't have the kids and is not paying CS. If he is capable of working, but just lazy then the judge will not put up with that. Everything he has been doing will just make him look like an ass in front of a judge. His threats are just that, threats. Do follow your lawyers advice and not get into a yelling match with him though. Based on what you have wrote, you have a strong case for getting him out of the house, especially when he already has another residence. Get some proof of that if you can.

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    • #3
      I know but...

      it will take at least 3 months if I go thru the "regular" court procedure of cc, motion,etc. - probably longer. I don't know if I can take this much longer - he is harassing me and draining me financially. I can buy him out - we know what to do already we have already been to court. He cannot buy me out - well he could but he doesn't want to show that he has money. The only holdup is that he will not physically leave the house.
      His aunt bought him a house in cash. It is in another one of his family member's names.
      He is only staying because he wants to punish me for ending the relationship and his lawyer has advised him to stay.
      I want to know if this can be made an emergency motion since it has been to court already and the situation in the house. The longer he is here, the worse it will be for me. I want to leave !

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      • #4
        how is he draining you finacially if you can afford to buy him out?? The house bills are things that you would have to pay if you were to buy him out anyways.

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        • #5
          I imagine the legal fees are adding up at this point....

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          • #6
            Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
            I imagine the legal fees are adding up at this point....
            u r probably right

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            • #7
              I don't see why you can't bring an emergency motion. Do it.

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              • #8
                He can't just refuse to work and have you pay full support. Whatever his education level, he should be imputed an income based potential employment.

                Where does he get the money to daytrade? He must have some source, and if his family is buying him a house they are probably giving him expense money as well.

                He has a house, he has just left his stuff? He has a girlfriend? Mostly irrelevant, but is he actually living in the new house with his girlfriend, and just left his stuff? This is unclear.

                Has he been living with you for two years, you have acknowledged separation for two years, but you have been paying all expenses during that time?

                A lot of things are unclear, you need to untangle the story a bit and we can give some clearer advice.

                As far as draining you financially, again, are you still supporting him? Stop then. If it is legal bills, tell your lawyer to stop useless work like exchanging letters back and forth with his lawyer. If you have filed your application and are waiting for your case conference, then you should just wait, I mean apart from seeking a possible emergency motion.

                What you can seek by emergency motion is to have exclusive possession of the home, based on harrassment that you need to document, at least by a daily journal which you will list and swear in an affidavit attached to your emergency motion. Then he can go live in his new house.

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                • #9
                  Thanks everybody

                  I think I will see if I can get this made an emergency. This is ridiculous.
                  He is draining me financially because I am paying extra bills due to him (car, insurance gas, visa etc.) and I barely qualify for the mortgage as it is - in fact I may not qualify with theses new rules ! I don't get legal aid because I earn the outrageous sum of 35,000 a year (and support a family of 4 on it). I do not want to bankrupt my kid's future by borrowing more than I should.
                  He first brought this to court not me and didn't settle because the judge basically told him to move and forget about spousal support.
                  Thanks sorry I didn't go into more detail but there is no point telling my life story - I just wanted to know if I had a shot of speeding it up.

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                  • #10
                    I don't understand why on earth you are paying his gas, Visa and car insurance? Just stop! Cancel them.

                    Pay your own bills and then get into court asap and get exclusive possession. Cite his harrassment and any legitimate expenses you are incurring (like excess utility bills, etc). I don't think the courts would accept that you are being forced to pay his Visa bill though. If it is a joint account, it should have been frozen long ago.

                    I have a sense he has bullied into submission, and I don't want to be harsh, but if you don't take the reins now, he is only going to grind you further into the ground.

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                    • #11
                      Call your insurance agent and have him removed from the policy. If the policy is in his name, then don't pay it and go get your own. If it is joint, then get them to take your name off of it.

                      Ditto the vehicles. If there are two and they are jointly held,or whatever, then put only enough gas in it to get you where you need to be. If it's perpetually empty, he'll either have to fill it up, or not drive it. Look into the cost of changing the door locks/ignition on the vehicle you drive. The police cannot stop him from simply taking it if he has a key.

                      Call any utilities where they are extras and in your name and disconnect them asap. (this includes cable, satellite, internet, etc). Go barebones.

                      Call ANY jointly held accounts and freeze them, NOW. Have your own separate account and pay the bills out of it.

                      You mentioned you have been separated for 2 years, is CCRA aware of this?

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                      • #12
                        cars

                        One of them is joint, one is mine (he doesn't drive it), one is his.
                        Policy is joint but we are both drivers on only the joint car. Problem is the joint one ! How do I get out of that (and not have a "lapse in insurance")?
                        As far as CC goes, bank told me I need to send a letter signed by both of us (he will never sign). LOC is on house. So he knows everything has to be settled before anything is settled if you see what I mean.

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                        • #13
                          talk to your insurance agent and see what they suggest. Tell them you want your name only on the car that is yours. There should be no lapse in insurance as long as you stay with the same company.

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                          • #14
                            Go to your bank and ask to speak with the manager. Tell the manager that if they don't freeze the credit card immediately while you wait, you will get a court order for them to do so. Tell them that you are separated from your spouse and you will no longer be responsible for any debt incurred by your spouse. Don't take no for an answer. Make sure you get the manager's name and the name and address and phone number of their direct superior. Don't raise your voice or use harsh language, just be assertive.

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                            • #15
                              What Mess said. Go and talk to the bank. They can't close the accounts with a balance outstanding, but they CAN freeze them so no further funds can be removed from them. Document the debts as they exist, and keep record of the payments YOU have made on them. (Keep them somewhere OTHER than the home, ie. open a safety deposit box or keep them at a friends place or something)

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