My b/f lives in an unhappy mariage, sleeps in basement etc...and when he finally left, he came back after a week because his 10 yrs old son kept saying he wanted to kill himself in front of a schoolbus and missed school for the whole week. I think his son's reaction is part manipulation and part of his own way to express his anger. But like any other kid that went thru their parent's divorce, he will eventually adapt. The son now sees a therapist and husband is still with the wife, for the sake of his son's happiness....I have been waiting for a year now...Any advice for him??
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Dear Abby would answer, Wake up and smell the coffee.
Your boyfriend is still living with his wife. He's giving you excuses for not leaving. If the son is threatening to kill himself, the son needs to be in therapy and possibly hospitalized asap. Sleeping in the basement, if that's where he is really sleeping, isn't the solution, it's part of the problem.
Flip a coin, it's just as likely he's still with his wife and telling lies.
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Originally posted by Bong View PostMy b/f lives in an unhappy mariage, sleeps in basement etc...and when he finally left, he came back after a week
Women like you are beyond selfish, irresponsible and frankly, disgusting!!
Originally posted by Bong View Posthis 10 yrs old son kept saying he wanted to kill himself in front of a schoolbus and missed school for the whole week.
Do you have no heart at all???
Originally posted by Bong View PostI think his son's reaction is part manipulation and part of his own way to express his anger.
Ofcourse he is angry... a *%$#* is tearing his family and his life apart...
Originally posted by Bong View PostBut like any other kid that went thru their parent's divorce, he will eventually adapt.
Originally posted by Bong View PostThe son now sees a therapist and husband is still with the wife, for the sake of his son's happiness....I have been waiting for a year now...Any advice for him??
And I have some advice for you... You have been "waiting for a year" for your "boyfriend" to leave his wife.... He left and went back almost immediately....
Even if his wife knows nothing of his infidelity (as I am sure is the case)... the fact remains that he is choosing to stay with her....
If you had any sense of decency or self-respect, you wouldn't be involved with a married man, regardless of his claims of "unhappiness".
You need to remove yourself from the equation... and go and find yourself a single man...
Sorry if my response offends you... but your actions have offended me!
Hopefully someday when you are married, your husband will screw around on you and you will know how it feels to be on the receiving end of an unfaithful partner...
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Originally posted by Bong View PostMy b/f lives in an unhappy mariage, sleeps in basement etc...and when he finally left, he came back after a week because his 10 yrs old son kept saying he wanted to kill himself in front of a schoolbus and missed school for the whole week. I think his son's reaction is part manipulation and part of his own way to express his anger. But like any other kid that went thru their parent's divorce, he will eventually adapt. The son now sees a therapist and husband is still with the wife, for the sake of his son's happiness....I have been waiting for a year now...Any advice for him??
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Originally posted by representingself View PostOMG.... are you seriously asking us how to effectively destroy a marriage for your own personal/sexual benefit???
Women like you are beyond selfish, irresponsible and frankly, disgusting!!
THAT should be your first concern..... this child is suffering... he is threatening suicide!! And it is in a large part... YOUR FAULT! He is just a little boy....
Do you have no heart at all???
You are severely damaging a child.... and have the audacity to call him manipulative!
Ofcourse he is angry... a *%$#* is tearing his family and his life apart...
Children from divorce suffer from numerous, permanent emotional consequences... How dare you trivialize his pain?
Yeah... I have some advice for him.... he needs to put the TRASH OUT!
And I have some advice for you... You have been "waiting for a year" for your "boyfriend" to leave his wife.... He left and went back almost immediately....
Even if his wife knows nothing of his infidelity (as I am sure is the case)... the fact remains that he is choosing to stay with her....
If you had any sense of decency or self-respect, you wouldn't be involved with a married man, regardless of his claims of "unhappiness".
You need to remove yourself from the equation... and go and find yourself a single man...
Sorry if my response offends you... but your actions have offended me!
Hopefully someday when you are married, your husband will screw around on you and you will know how it feels to be on the receiving end of an unfaithful partner...
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Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Postk i can see you are upset about this but let me put in my two cents as a woman who had her first husband cheat. I never blamed the other woman, I blamed HIM.
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Sorry if I pis@*# in some ppl Corn Flakes that was not my intention; nor was I asking advice for myself! It was more intended to find out if anybody else had similar experience with their kid threatening to kill themselves when they announced they were leaving.....
I will now go take a bath in Holy Water!
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[quote=Bong;37797]I think his son's reaction is part manipulation and part of his own way to express his anger. But like any other kid that went thru their parent's divorce, he will eventually adapt.
Are you for real??? Manipulation, to want his parents to stay together he will threaten suicide??
Before starting a relationship with a man, make sure he is 1. Out of the home, 2. Divorced 3. Not because of you. Nothing wrong with dating someone who was once married, but getting involved or causing a marriage to break is the reason you will not get a warm response, Check yourself and see if you would like to be the person wearing those shoes. As for a Holy Water bath, that won't cleanse you, only true confession and repentance, not mokery!
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Originally posted by Bong View PostSorry if I pis@*# in some ppl Corn Flakes that was not my intention; nor was I asking advice for myself! It was more intended to find out if anybody else had similar experience with their kid threatening to kill themselves when they announced they were leaving.....
I will now go take a bath in Holy Water!
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The best thing you could do is remove yourself from the situation and let the parents tend to their child in whatever way is necessary.
The child may well be using it as a threat because he doesn't want daddy to leave - kids normally don't, however that doesn't mean he is being manipulative. He's simply a hurt and confused young boy whose family is falling apart.
If you truly believe that you and this man will be together at some point then leave him be and when the time is right begin a relationship. The child is far less likely to accept you and trust you if he knows or feels you contributed to his family breaking up.
I could be wrong but you don't really come across in your posts as being overly concerned about the well-being of the child or having much experience with children in general. You won't be doing any of you any favours getting into this relationship and having it be sour between you and the boy. The father will always feel pressured by one of you against the other and if he makes the right choices, the child will always win and you will always lose.
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No one should sugar coat adultery.... regardless if it hurts your "feelings"..
Yeah sure he is also to blame... but you are far from an innocent bystander.... You are playing a part in destroying a family.
Only a certain "type" of person would be willingly sexually involved with a married man/woman.... and don't kid yourself... that is ALL your relationship with this man is.... an easy lay on the side!!
Boo hoo to you because you "love him" and the two of you want to be together..... and you have "waited for him" for a year... if he felt the same way about you... he wouldn't still be living with his wife.
Wake up and give your head a shake...
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