Heading back into court again!

[Nadia]

Spent all night working on my response to a contempt motion filed by my ex-husband. All done. Case conference to consider contempt matter taking place on Friday.

This will be his third attempt since January 2009 to find me in contempt of the court order. The previous two attempts were unsuccessful. This is costing me another $3,500 in legal fees not to mention a complete disruption to my life. Unless, there is a way in which my ex can be stopped from returning to court every few months, I am suspecting that in all likelihood I will be spending the next several years in court addressing him.

Has anyone else faced a similar situation where by they are being dragged back into court repeatedly by their ex for frivolous matters that can be dealt with outside the court room?

[Cobourg]

Nadia,
If you figure out a way, please let me know.
Separated in Jan 2009.
2 Consent orders dealing with access, CS and SS in May and June.
Since March when she moved out and took the kids, we have been to court 10 times.
Once was for my motion to get an assessement for our kids.
I am represented. She is not.
To date I have had costs put off every time.
At a minimum of $2000 a time, it gets expensive very quickly.
What do you do? Just "give in" to riduculas and unobtainable demands?
We are heading back for another case conference in two weeks.
Outcome will be the same as before....nothing.
Judge will recommend a solution. I will make an offer that meets what the judge suggests if not better, but she will refuse it.

Good luck to you.

[dadtotheend]

Screw the endless case conferences. What you need to do is to start scheduling settlement conferences, and then trial management conferences, and then exit pre-trial conference, then trial.

You HAVE to continue to push the matter towards trial, because the heat will be turned up as you get closer. The lawyer doesn't care about resolution. He/she cares about billiable hours.

Instruct your lawyer to schedule a settlement conference, then at the settlement conference implore the judge yourself to put you on the trial listings. Just point to the useless number of court appearances where nothing has been accomplished to buttress your argument that you are gettting nowhere.

As the heat gets turned up at each stage in case management, you will eventually settle before trial, guaranteed.

[Nadia]

Thank you for your input dadtothe end. I wanted to avoid a protracted legal battle and aside from the emergency motions that ex keeps posting, we have succeeded for the most part.

We have three court orders in place.

The last two considered final. All the major issues have been settled. Custody and access, Spousal support and child support, property (there wasn't much), Divorce finalized last March. So there should be very little reason to return to court.

There has been no violation of any court orders. The way that I look at it is that you just have to somehow make it work. There are going to be grey areas and maybe even some contradictions in court orders, but you'd think two grown ups could navigate their way by themselves without one having to resort to involving the courts.

I have had enough of lawyers and the court system. I think the system - such as it is - doesn't work. I used to have a lot of respect for lawyers, but since all this started, I have acquired a certain dislike for the whole profession. Primarily, because of the amount of money that parents have to pay in legal fees in order to be represented. No wonder people are increasingly representing themselves. The family court system is like a lottery. It all depends on who you get as a judge. Nothing is resolved quickly. A lot of paper is produced and circulated, with little result.

[JayBon]

I am going through the same issue, but with my ex wife- who is using Legal Aid, and therefore not costing her a dime, but draining my account.

I have had several orders completed, but every year I get served with something else. It appears to never end and I can understand your frustration

[wretchedotis]

As the heat gets turned up at each stage in case management, you will eventually settle before trial, guaranteed.

What do you mean 'the heat gets turned up'?

[Cobourg]

We actually have a Settlement Conference booked for the end of March. I thought it was a case conference.
We had a Settlement Conference already back in Aug 09.
Lawyer has my offer to settle in hand and will include in the brief.
We only have two trial sittings where I live.
May and November.
Not much chance of getting a date in the May sittings so it looks like it will have to be November.
Maybe we can get some stuff sorted in a few weeks.
We had a motion date at the end of Feb at which nothing happened because the judge thought it would take to long and he put it off to the "next available long motion day" which is not until July.
My salary has been reduced and she won't agree to reduce support payments.
Trying to "push" things forward in this process is like pissing into the wind.
With usually the same results.

[Nadia]

Going to Trial

Just an update. We had a case conference today. Nothing was accomplished. Ex tried to get the judge to make a ruling but he was reminded that this was a "case conference" and not a motion hearing.

We are going to trial instead. Will cost a lot more money, but it might give us some finality once and for all.

[Notadeadbeatdad]

What happens in settlement conferences exactly?
I have one scheduled at the end of June and am representing myself.

[Cobourg]

My Settlement Conference at the end of March was suprisingly productive.
It was productive because the offer that I made was fact based and reasonable.

Prior to the Conference you will fill out the required paperwork outlining your position and what your offer is.
Be sure to present only the facts.
Don't get emotional.
Make sure the facts are in point form. Don't ramble. Be clear and to the point.
Anything more than a few pages is a waste.
I had 4 pages which was probably too much.
She had 35 pages.
Which one do you think the judge was going to read?

When we went before the judge he said he had read our documents and had some comments to make.
I was represented at that point and she was not. The judge requested that the Duty Counsel come in and listen to what he was going to say so that he could "assist" my ex.
He looked right at my ex and went through my offer point by point (there were 7 main issues), and told her why she should agree with them.
He told us to go away and discuss them and he would be around for the day if we had any questions.
She went and discussed with the duty counsel what the judge had said and we put together a consent order.
I got more time with my kids. Access and custody for the kids finalized. Not 100% to what I wanted but more than she had originally "granted" me.
I got a reduction in my child support due to a salary reduction.
I got my vacation schedule confirmed.
I got her section 7 expense claim reduced for 2009 and a few other things as well.
She got nothing.
She was emotional, rambling, unreasonable, uncooperative, and basically a bitch.
I had a lawyer for this because the main focus for me was my kids. The only things we really have left to deal with is final spousal support, equalization, and some other money things.
I am doing that myself.
You can do this to.
Other people have said it before.
Research, Research, and more Research.
Ask questions.
Try not to get emotional with your submissions. Stay focused and to the point.
You will do fine.
Good luck