Get OCL involved???

[billiechic]

I just had a wonderful conversation with my ex. He said his lawyer suggested getting the Office of the Children's Lawyer involved. His sister who is fighting for custody of her daughter right now just had one appointed so he thinks it's a good idea.

So how does this work? Do I have to pay? I thought it needed to be ordered by the judge? The ex told me his lawyer said there would be no cost.

I did tell him that I thought it would be a waste of time and money as the OCL would not recommend sole custody for him. And since status quo is close to joint and 50/50 there is no point to involve them. Of course I told him he could try if he thought that I was not a fit mother, but that I would not be paying for one unless ordered to.

Can anyone give me more info on this??

[#1StepMom]

I thought OCL would only get involved in cases where the "fitness" (LOL) of the parent is questioned... as in whether they are a fit parent or not.

I don't think OCL would waste their time on cases where there is no issue with adequate parenting.

But, I don't know much on this topic... this is just my 2 cents! ;-)

[Gary_P]

Seems to me that they are there to protect the children. That being the case they are not interested in small issues rather those that require the child to be protected.

I doubt that they would be interested in anything unless it had a direct, and potentially emotional/physical issue with a child. Kinda like Child Protective Services but more lawyer based.

[billiechic]

That is what I thought. There is no valid reason that I can think of to have then involved. She was exposed to her dad abusing me, but that is over and she is starting counselling for that. She is safe now.

Unless he is trying to cook up some reasons to have them brought in. Actually, I think it would be his lawyer doing that. He seems to think that joint custody with 50/50 is fair. and that is basically what we have. He has said several times that he knows I am a good mother, even a great mother.

But his lawyer does have a nasty reputation.

[mominont]

I've had the OCL involved twice in my legal battles. I've been extremely lucky to have them complete a first report and then an updated report.

My lawyer said that the OCL is denying more and more applications. Both times the judge ordered their involvement, however even if the judge orders their involvement the OCL still has the right to refuse. After the judge orders the involvement you have 7, maybe 10 days to complete the paperwork.

My ex has documented mental health issues so I suspect that was their main reason for getting involved in my case. Its a long process. It worked out great in my case - the OCL recommending exactly what I was offering.

It wouldn't cost you anything - its free - well our taxes pay for it! Dadtotheend also had the OCL involved with his court case too.

Regarding your exs sister, did the judge order it and the OCL agree to get involved? They might agree to get involved in your case if abuse has been an issue. If I remember correctly you have MS? maybe your ex is trying to make trouble for you with regards to MS?

[billiechic]

I don't know if my sister-in-law's was ordered or not. but it was granted. There was abuse there as well and her ex is mentally unstable.

My ex abused me, he has had ongoing assessments and been on and off depression and anxiety meds for almost 10 years. He thinks I was sexually abused as a child, but I was not and I told him many times. My MS is under control (very under control) as I have had no flares for almost 7 years. There is no basis for involving them. NONE at all.

Maybe he is just shooting his mouth, I don't know. I can only think that it is another intimidation tactic or maybe a delay. But I will not do anything to delay this from going forward and I will not be intimidated. I have better things to worry about right now than his bruised ego.

It is NOT my fault that he is at a disadvantage here. He CHOSE not to be an involved parent and he can't just step in when she is 3 and think that him being there now erases his past behavior. HIs current parenting is good, and I support his involvement, but I shouldn't have to suffer all this crap because he feels he is inferior.

[dadtotheend]

Here is my OCL thread. Lots of info here:

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...olvement-2842/

Search all posts by mominont. She has info in her threads as well.

[sportywhisper]

My ex is also trying to get OCL involved, no abuse, no "fitness" issues at all, just another way to drag the process out as it will take months according to my lawyer. His lawyer suggested OCL involvement with the assumption that an OCL will let the kids have their say about where they want to live and why,

[dadtotheend]

Our OCL investigation lasted nine months from the time the judge requested their involvement to the time they tabled their recommendations.

Mind you, three months of that was wasted time because my ex didn't complete the intake forms, so the OCL initially declined to participate. I had to go back to court to get another request for their involvement.

Six months is what you should expect, more or less.

I'm not surprised to hear that they are taking less and less cases. It is a government funded organization of limited resources. They only tend to get involved if there is high conflict, addictions, mental health or violence issues.

[billiechic]

Thanks DTTE. I'll look for those posts.

We do have 3 of those "qualifications". High conflict, abuse and mental health. Well, he now denies he has any mental health issues, said it was unhappiness causing all his problems (right, )

I think it would be a good thing, it would relieve all my worries, and I'm pretty confident that I would not get less than what I have now (50/50). But I don't think it is necessary and I know it will add delay.
Does anyone have an opinion? (don't worry about offending me, I need honest feedback!)

[sufferer]

I gave a quick glance to the replies to your post so just ignore if i am over lapping any information.
My great ex wanted the same and he bugged the Judge so much that he ordered the OCL invovement.We had high conflicts,CAs was called twice on me,Absolutely on non talking terms etc etc.Guess what after 8 weeks of wait OCL refused to take the case.But when I asked my lawyer what if OCL gets invoved.She gave me mixed views.As per her it depends 75% on the worker who will be taking the case.
In certain cases she had experienced the unforseen results with the OCL involvement and My lawyer was almost sure that OCL will take my case.

My ex claimed that I have post partum depression.Whenever the kids are sick I hang them upsidedown in the washroom and hit them.His accusation gave me tears nothing else.But then when he told the same things to CAS worker she questioned him --THEN WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE HOME WITHOUT YOUR KIDS?YOUR KIDS ARE SURE IN DANGER WITH SUCH A MOTHER?To this he fipped and told the worker -THATS WHY HE HAD THEM(CAS) INVOLVED

[billiechic]

that's he thing, he hasn't even responded to my application and has said all along he wants 50/50. I am all for the eqaully split time, but not happy with jint custody as he has already caused problems. He has never said he would go for sole custody (well, maybe when he was angry). I can't see why he would want this. If they were going to lean any way other than joint they would lean towards me.

[sufferer]

I might be wrong but my understandng is that shared custody is joint by default.Don't worry if thats the status quo its unlikely that the Judge will even order OCL involvement.Even if he ordersit chances are minimal that they wil take yur case.
Take a chill pill .;-)

[billiechic]

thanks. I'm not worried though. I could use some chill time though!

[amin99]

I had OCL involved in my case. It was the other parties request. I did not want the intrusion but in the end the report was in my favour, it was exactly what I was offering....BUT THE JUDGE DID NOT EVEN LOOK AT IT AND MADE A JUDGEMENT CONTRARY TO THE REPORT. Needless to say I am flabbergasted!
Two months of interrogation for nothing!