Changing of the children's last names.

[crispy]

My ex-wife has recently confronted me about changing my two daughters last names from mine to her own maiden name. All her reasons are her own and has nothing to do with the best interest of the children. She has had a third child with her boyfriend and there are 3 different last names in her household, this being one of her main reasons. I object to this action and she has told me that she will not hesitate to take me to court over this. What can I do?

[tugofwar]

Did she switch her last name back? I was thinking about changing my name back to my maiden name but thought it would be best if we (my child and I) to have the same last name. Even though I hate having to write it, say it or be addressed by it. If people ask me, I just spell it out, doesn't seem that bad
I don't think it's fair for her to change their name, that's the name they were given at birth.

[billiechic]

I agree with Tugofwar. Unless there is a reason to change their names (and I can't think of many) then it is not right. How confusing would it be for a kid to have to tell their friends that they have a new name. This is not something the court is likely to allow.

What was her reasoning?

[mominont]

Does your ex wife have sole custody? I think its easier if one parent has sole custody. If she did start the process you would have to be notified.

If you google name change + ontario if would give a bunch of different "tests" to determine eligibility of changing the minor child's name.

Mominont

[representingself]

If she has sole custody of the children, and there is nothing prohibiting the name change in the custody agreement/court order, then she can legally change their names without your consent, and without a court order permitting her to do so.

She does have to provide you with notification of the name change, IF you have court ordered access to the children.

She must send you a copy of one of the forms included in the official name change package, via registered mail. Then she must attach a copy of the receipt for said registered mail to the name change application form.

There is a section that you are supposed to sign, indicating that you have been notified of the name change, and send it back to her..... but the Government will proceed with the name change even if you refuse to return the form.

Now, if you have legal joint custody, then she cannot change their names without your consent, and will have to seek a court order granting her permission to make the change.

If your children were male, and thus carrying your surname forward to future generations, you would have a great argument against the change. But your children are female, and thus their surnames are most likely to change when they get married. As such, the onus will be on your ex to prove why their names should be changed, and on you to argue against it.

Good luck

[tugofwar]

I dont understand why she would want to change their name regardless of sole custody etc. Maybe if the father was DBD, not around, didn't want to have anything to do with the children etc. But just to despite someone, really? That's sad especially for the children. That's the lastname they were brought up with.

[representingself]

I dont understand why she would want to change their name regardless of sole custody etc. Maybe if the father was DBD, not around, didn't want to have anything to do with the children etc. But just to despite someone, really? That's sad especially for the children. That's the lastname they were brought up with.

Her reasons are irrelevant... the question is can she do it???

And depending on the custody order, (Sole vs Joint)... she could legally change their first, middle and last names to whatever she wanted....

[Foredeck]

Her reasons are irrelevant... the question is can she do it???

And depending on the custody order, (Sole vs Joint)... she could legally change their first, middle and last names to whatever she wanted....

Lets say she has full custody, but both parents are involved. As a hypothetical situation, say the father has 20% custody. Shouldn't all major decisions be made by both parents?

If the father was not involved in the life of the child, I would understand. However, I thought that major decisions still had to be agreed upon.

[billiechic]

If she has sole custody then she can change it. Unless they have a SA stating that (a lot of people do). But since he is involved in the child's life she should have a good reason to do so. I can see some court action coming out of it even if she has full custody. It just isn't right.

[representingself]

Lets say she has full custody, but both parents are involved. As a hypothetical situation, say the father has 20% custody. Shouldn't all major decisions be made by both parents?

If the father was not involved in the life of the child, I would understand. However, I thought that major decisions still had to be agreed upon.

Unfortunately, unless you have legal joint custody, you are considered a parent with access to the child, and as such, your permission is not required for a legal name change.
The only thing she is required to do is inform you of the change.

There is no such thing as 20% custody in the eyes of the law.

I agree that all major decisions should be made by both parents, but that is not always possible. That is why there are provisions in the law which grant one parent sole custody, thus having the ultimate decision making power.

It sounds like she is not aware of her legal right to proceed without your consent, so you can demand that she seek an order from the Court. If she is not very savvy when it comes to self-education, she may buy into it. Then at least you have a shot at convincing the Judge to see things your way.

If she does even a little bit of research or inquiry, she may find out that your consent is not required and proceed with the change.

[dinkyface]

There was a precedent-setting supreme court case a few years ago involving BC parents, which recognised that surname is a key aspect of who the child feels they 'belong' with, or identify with, and that this identification is a basic human right. So if the unnamed parent is an active involved loving parent (and not father via rape, or other violence involved etc.) that the father should be able to apply to have his name included in surname - even if the mother 'chose' not to identify him as father on the birth certificate. The acid test is 'Child's best interest'. According to the Vital Statistics Act, which sets out naming rules, if parent's cannot agree on last name, then it goes alphabetically e.g. Aames-Braxton. The specific legal case was a situation in which mother hid from father at birth and subsequently attempted to keep father away - but apparently no abuse/violence involved.
Another factor cited in this case was the child's age - too young it doesn't matter, too old can cause confusion.
In your case the mother's name is not included ... so why not consider including both names instead?

[representingself]

What was the "precident setting" case name/date? Maybe you could provide more details so that the poster can review same and determine if he can use it in his arguments??

Regardless, the law in Ontario is clear on this issue, if one parent has sole custody, that parent has the ability to make the change.

Crispy, review the information at Changing your Name - Formal Name Change (Child - Under 18) - Ontario.ca, contact the Government and have them send you the name change package so that you can see for yourself, what steps she will need to take to change yoru daughters names.

Try to put a stop to it, before she files the forms.

I recently changed my eldest daughters surname to her step-fathers surname. I have sole custody. I had to pay $137, and send the required notification form to her biological father (who has court ordered access).

The form specifically stated that he was supposed to sign and return the form to me, and by signing it, it did not mean that he agreed with the change, just acknowledging that he had indeed been notified.

He neglected to sign and return the form... but legally it didn't matter. I proved that he had been notified with the registered mail receipt.

I still had her name changed....

BUT....My daughters original surname was my maiden name, NOT her biological fathers surname.... Her and I changed our last names at the same time. She was over 12 years old, provided her consent and was happy with the change.

Her biological father has not been involved in her life for many, many years, so he had no desire to fight me on this issue, and he was advised by legal counsel that, due to the fact that she is a female, her last name was subject to change at marriage, so it was a moot point.

Crispy's situation is MUCH different than mine, and so he may have a different outcome, should the issue be brought before a Judge... I am sure he would appreciate a link to the case law you are referring to.

[dinkyface]

Here's the case: CanLII - 2003 SCC 34 (CanLII)

Short version in wiki page here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trociuk...torney_General)

The recently enacted Bill 133 includes a change seems related to this case - although to be honest, I cannot understand exactly what the legal change described in this bill is. It just states that a parent has the "right to apply TO COURT" (not vital statistics) have their name included, and that COURT will base the decision will be based on 'best interest of child'. Did a parent not have the right to apply before? Did the court use some other criteria before?

[crispy]

I just got off the phone with my ex and because she has sole custody, she is pursuing it despite how I feel. She has a son with her boyfriend, and they are going to hyphenate his last name, that way they can all be connected was her main reason. I don't know what I can do now, I'm pretty much screwed.

[#1StepMom]

I just got off the phone with my ex and because she has sole custody, she is pursuing it despite how I feel. She has a son with her boyfriend, and they are going to hyphenate his last name, that way they can all be connected was her main reason. I don't know what I can do now, I'm pretty much screwed.

Have you offered a compromise? As in hyphenating your girls' last names to include both your surname and her maiden name?

Perhaps this would be the best approach, given the situation you painted to us, and you would still have your surname be a part of your girls' surname.

(FYI - A colleague I work with recently changed her daughter's surname to a hyphenated surname of her maiden name and her ex's last name. She did this because she wanted all her children - from her current and previous relationship - to share at least one last name. Her ex was okay with this, as his surname was still attached to his daughter's, despite the added hyphenated name. They both had to sign the paperwork and they both had to get the name change commissioned together... as they have joint custody.)