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Ex's car is unsafe to transport our child .....

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  • #16
    Originally posted by sufferer View Post
    I would suggest since your kids safety is associated try helping her.Financially if its not posible then try convincing her.If the new tires are damn expensive try shopping around on ebay ,junk yards(notsure if canada has one) for used tires.Try contributing a little bit financially ( not as a help but as a loan).Take evrything in writing that later you can cut little by little from special expenses or so.
    I know for a fact there are lots of places Ontario where you can get used tires for a quarter of the price of new ones depending on size. The auto wreckers carry used tires also.


    • #17
      I am a father that pays waaaay to much in Spousal Support and pays the chart rate for Child Support. It irritates the hell out of me to see my paycheck shrink and go mostly to her. I agree completely with the frustration mentioned above BUT they ARE YOUR CHILDREN. If she does not see the value in their lives and their safety then put tires on the car.

      God forbid but what if something happened? How bad would you feel that your ego got in the way of protecting them. Do you drink beer? do you smoke? Do you go out with the guys? STOP and use that money to buy tires NOT FOR HER ...FOR YOUR KIDS.

      If you pay her the support directly then short the payment one month and let her chase you for the money. If you pay through direct to FRO from your employer then suck it up.

      Sorry but I love my kids to much let my ex-wifes actions and stupidity and neglect get in the way of their safety.


      • #18
        I can't believe what I'm reading... It's HER responsibility to keep her car safe. Tires are one glaringly obvious thing but if she's got the personality to let something like that slide then there will be other things too. Do her brakes work? Has her furnace been cleaned in the last decade?

        One of the hardest things about divorce is to let them go with the other parent with the knowlege that you have no control over what happens to them during that time. Personally, I would never buy tires for her myself.



        • #19
          I would never buy tires for HER either ... you missed my point. I would although absolutely, without question or hesitation but tires for MY CHILDREN.

          Her responsibility or not, if she is not doing it then it is time to step up and be a father.


          • #20
            This whole thing about the safety of our children. It should be both our responsiblities to take the safety of them first before anything else. Everytime I try to address concerns with the ex- he just blows up. He's not being child focused and it's just eating me alive. He doesn't understand nor has been an involved parent to know that he needs to take measures to ensure the safety of our child.
            Im beside myself with all this. Everyone says it's important for each child to be with both parents etc... But who's looking after the safety of children. I know there are things he's not practising or worrying about with our child and who is to help him or at least have him consider and think about safety issues? He's not listening to me, doesn't take advise from others, he knows what he's doing..
            child is 17 months and still in exersaucer- way over the height and weight. Safety issue. That's just a mild example....
            When you are taking your child to consider day care. What do you look for? A caring provider, with a safe environment, experience, recommendations and so forth. You do your homework because you need to feel comfortable leaving your child with them.
            Last edited by tugofwar; 02-10-2010, 11:23 AM.


            • #21
              I hate to deviate from the topic in a post but ...

              Unfortunately, ex spouses tend to pick on the other for every tiny little thing. It is amazing how once people seperate issues like "your floors are to slippery and he might fall" or "you fed him ice cream before dinner" or even "you brought him back without his scarf on always become cause for being unfit parents. Lighten up These are things that you would do anyway if you were both parenting.

              Imagine your ex seeing you tossing your son 4 feet in the air and landing in a snowbank BEFORE and AFTER a divorce. One is "having fun" and the other is "abuse".


              • #22
                Yes, maybe most do. But everyone has a different story, different situation. Just because maybe your ex is like that with you, doesn't mean everyone else is.
                Im learning as I go too. It is a difficult time for everyone. All parties involved. Im trying to really stay child focused and part of being a parent is to take responsibilites of our child and I have concerns that most parents would agree are a concern or even agree would be an issue of safety.
                If I have a concern, (not things like he doesn't put her gloves on in the winter time- even though they are hanging from her jacket and takes a mere second to put on) I've learned to let go of these little things, but when the bigger things come into play, then yes I will address my concern.
                Sorry, but Resser has a good concern. If he feels the tires are bald and especially now in the winter time should be concerned and he's just looking for advice because he's worried about his children.
                Last edited by tugofwar; 02-10-2010, 12:03 PM.


                • #23
                  Tugofwar ..i agree 100%. If you see my previous posts I say "go buy the tires for the safety of your children".


                  • #24
                    Sorry Gary P, I just read the last post of yours. I understand it's a difficult position Resser is in. If he buys her tires for her vehicle, what's going to be next.... It could possibly start a new trend of her being lazy with the safety etc with the children and then you get sucked into paying/buying all these extra things because she knows you will do it.


                    • #25
                      Originally posted by NBDad View Post
                      Let me play this little game I call "reality". Below are the answers to your statements for the majority of fathers out there....

                      Sorry hon, but I don't have $300+ dollars to splurge like this, my ex takes about 40%+ of my paycheck in "child support" + collects the CCTB/UCCB. Oh then I get to spend an EXTRA proportional share for "special expenses" that depending on how well her and her "free legal aid" lawyer played the system, I may or may not get a vote on.

                      After taking over 50% of my paycheck, I still have to pay rent, food, gas to get to work, insurance, etc. as well as inspection/registration costs for my own vehicle. Oh and let's not forget the $5-30,000+ in legal fees I need to pay, because unlike my ex, I'm a man and therefore unable to qualify for legal aid.

                      Oh did I mention that if I want to EVER get my kids more often I have to make sure that my place and groceries are capable of supporting them WHILE STILL PAYING THE SAME AMOUNT OF CS??? That's of course assuming the ex doesn't fight me tooth and nail to keep me under 40% access because you know, that would actually LOWER my CS payments by a couple hundred dollars/month.

                      It's called the Canadian Family Law's one of the biggest jokes in the country...

                      I don't normally respond to posts like this, but you asked for it...we're not disgusting, you're just an idiot. Go do some research, get some facts and proper information, and then come back when you can have conversation about the reality of the situation.

                      See above...take the CS/SS/CCTB/UCCB/Welfare cash and go do it yourself. Despite apparent similarities, I'm not a bloody ATM.

                      /this post is brought to you on behalf of fathers everywhere who want more time with their children, but are denied such based of off archaic family court attitudes, overworked/underfunded government agencies (a la CAS) and vindictive ex's out for the almighty buck.
                      Wow!! I guess it could work the other way, when the custodial parent recieves no child support or help with daycare, special expenses. The 15 grand I spent in legal fees were NEVER about child support.


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by mominont View Post
                        Wow!! I guess it could work the other way, when the custodial parent recieves no child support or help with daycare, special expenses. The 15 grand I spent in legal fees were NEVER about child support.
                        Amen!! Im in that same boat.


                        • #27
                          Every story is different. I just tend to get a little ticked off when father's that actually express an interest in their kids are force fed through the same B/S rules as the deadbeats that do everything in their power to avoid their responsibilities.

                          For those on the other side of the fence, where NCP is avoiding their responsibilities like the plague, I'm of the "nail them to the wall" persuasion.


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by NBDad View Post
                            For those on the other side of the fence, where NCP is avoiding their responsibilities like the plague, I'm of the "nail them to the wall" persuasion.
                            How long are your nails? LOL! Thanks for this reply


                            • #29
                              They're small and sharp, I find you can use MORE that way


                              • #30
                                Amen Brother


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