upcoming motion and mediation offers

[frustrated11]

are what is offered in mediation able to be brought to court as an offer to settle?

ex still has not provided 2008 daycare expenses, sowing an extra month of care for 2009 when there was summer camps

trying to now throw in private school as child has been placed in without consultation to me, (as per court order) private school is not part of the original motion but can she add it to when we go to our motion date,

trying to get court papers ready and i don't know if I should add it or not,

I've found some case law where putting child in private school without cousultation with the other parent is not a good idea, expesically when not in either means, but relatives are helping her out and they want XXX amount of dollars

any advise would be greatly appreciated as I don't know if she is going to add it to this motion as part of the section 7 or if it will be onits own adn I want to proepare,

should i just put in my affidavit about her asking for this and the cases where the other parent was not consulted that they did not have to contribute?

[Mess]

Why does the ex believe the child should be in private school? Why do you not? These are important questions.

Private school may (or may not) be a generally "better" education, but you aren't obligated to pay extra for "better", you are obligated to pay for what is necessary.

Does your child have special needs? Have there been problems in the public school system? Has the public school been unable to provide special ed or deal with problems? Have you contacted the school board and found out what other programs or special classes are available?

If there have been problems and the public board couldn't or wouldn't deal with them, then your ex may have a sound argument. But the law does require that special needs students get what they need within the public school board. (My daughter is gifted, which is put in special needs categoty, and there are specific regulations requiring boards to serve special needs kids.) Sometimes because of funding and available space and the number of kids, the school may be miles away. This could be an issue, but there should be something, somewhere.

If it is a discipline problem you can question if a private school is an adequate solution, or if therapy might be a better one.

In the end it's going to come down to whether your child really needs this school or not. If not then it is a luxery, not a special expense. Either you or your ex is going to have to show which.

[littleman]

anything said in mediation is INADMISSABLE in court.......this is why in my case I declined mediation. I went straight to court and everything was fair game so to speak. I dont know about private school being a better education or not. My child attends public schhol and is well adjusted and socially accepted.....private schools Im sure have their set backs as do public schools......but I also do not believe that there is any difference in the quality of education between the two.
As "Mess" mentioned it is a luxury not a neccessity.......even children with disciplinary issues they have boot camp for that (trust me that works......not my child but I have seen problem children go there and come home after 2 months VERY changed.......boot camp is summer only btw)

If it is not in final order from court then your ex is obligated to pay whereas that was clearly a choice. Just out of curiosity does your child even like it there at private school?

[Mess]

There is "open" mediation which is admissible and "closed" which is not admissible. You have to agree which before it starts. I think that may be just the mediation available through the courts.

[frustrated11]

I don't think it was ever said...something to find out, thanks.... waht about her addign on to the motion, or will she have to file her own motion and go through the cc's

[Mess]

Your motion is your motion, she can't add to it. After the case conference either can file your own motion. I'm not sure what would happen if you both filed contradictory motions, ideally it would be sorted out in one instance.

[frustrated11]

i filed for the motion earlier this year to reduce CS and S. 7 expenses, we have had 2 case conferences and are in mediation, in the last mediation she brought up the private school where i told her I couldn't afford it. FRO taking 1/2 chq and 2nd family, dont have enough for my own expenses and borrowing to stay afloat. motion date is approaching and we will end up there as she will not agree to retro reduction of CS. My only fear was she was going to try to claim that the private school should be included as a s.7 even though she has not filed a motion to for the funds (starting in the new year) and the original motion or even her cross motion deals with private school, j