Child Support - Maternity Leave Question

[Mess]

Excellent advice from NBdad.

Re the Child Tax Credit Benefit, if you are certain you can add up enough hours to get you to 40%, even averaged over a period of time, then I would say write to Revenue Canada (there should be a form you can download on the website as well) and get it switched over to a 6 month rotation.

Keep in mind this will be inflamatory, and do it when you are ready to move on everything else, but it will help in that you will arrive in court with one more piece of recognition that you have sufficient time with your child to be at the shared custody level.

Revenue Canada and Family Law don't always coincide, and one may ignore the other, but if it part of a long list of documents like records from daycare of who picked the child up, etc, then you will be in a stronger position.

Keep in mind with your arguments you want to be arguing to solidify your time with your child, and clarify your rights and custody, not fight about money. Judges don't like you if use the child as a prop in a money fight. Let your ex play that role, judges aren't stupid. Make a clear, solid case that your child thrives in your care, you participate in her life and activities, you are a much stronger presence in her life than the typical every-other-weekend arrangement and you want this protected, because your ex is trying to cut you down for financial gain. This should be the gist of your approach. You are concerned with time with your child who needs you and expects to be with you regularly, not just occasionaly.

[NBDad]

Mess makes some good points.

Couple other points:

When communicating, or in any kind of documentation, try to use terminology like "our child" or "our children". Using the words "my" or "mine" convey a sense of ownership. You don't "own" the children. It's a small thing, but can help to convey you as a reasonable, mature individual whose "child centric". (ie. focused on your child, not on yourself).

There are also perhaps some other programs you might be able to look into. There is one in NB called "For the Sake of the Children", it's a 6 week? program that focuses on "co-parenting" after a divorce/separation.

Look into whether there is anything similar in your area. You may not NEED it, but the point of TAKING it and educating yourself will be yet one more little thing you can bring before a court.

Be involved with your children, make a point to talk to their teachers, if you have them on a weekday, ask the teacher to please send home extra copies of school notices,etc on that day due to the family situation. Most will be more than happy to accomodate. Make a point to know when report cards come out, or parent teacher interviews. Get a copy, make your OWN appointment, and keep it.

If your children need dentist/doctor visits and your ex isn't taking them, then try to book an appointment for one of your days (if possible). Yes, it seems like a pain and that you lose time with them, but it places you where you want to be...in the "primary caregiver" role.

[Human Way]

i read your advice over and over, and tried really hard over the

christmas break to make things better..... no such luck.

i booked an appointment with my lawyer. I think for my daughter, family, and mine own sake, I should formalize this with some kind of legal document. Im sure i will have a million more questions, rants in the up coming weeks.

thanks for the support.