Child Support 40% 60%

[ChildLight]

I have just settled an agreement that says I will be getting my kids 6 and 10
60 percent of the time. Right now I live 50 km away from the father with my two kids. If I were to move to the same city as the father. Would there be a chance that he could file for more then the 40% that we agreed upon in the settlement and would he then only have to pay 50% of the child support?

he was the main earner of the house hold while I stayed at home with the kids.


should I avoid living in the same city as the father??

[Deputy Daddy]

OH.... I'm gonna grab the popcorn and watch this one!

[Foredeck]

I'll try to keep this nice. I won't comment on the financial side or your motives.

However, for child support and custody, he can apply to change it at any time. Anything related to spousal support or alimony is basically done when you sign the papers, but everything related to your kids is always open to renegotiations.

So, if you're scared that he'll apply for more custody, nothing is really stopping him from doing it now.

[ChildLight]

Money isn't really the issue I am just more concerned that he would have the kids for longer as I love spending time with my kids.

but the main issue is the city would he have a better chance with negotiations if I was in the same city as him. Is there any assurances that I keep the kids for the 60% I have them.

[Foredeck]

Then I am sorry. Why should you have more rights than him?

You are both equally important to the children.

Other then asking him and trusting him if he says he won't go for more, there's nothing more you can do. Even if he signs a document stating that he won't go for more custody, he will still be able to in the future.

[ChildLight]

So what you are saying is that it doesn't matter what city I live in, he can still apply for 50/50

and that the agreement we made out that states I have 60 percent is worthless when we meet for a review?

[representingself]

I have just settled an agreement that says I will be getting my kids 6 and 10
60 percent of the time. Right now I live 50 km away from the father with my two kids. If I were to move to the same city as the father. Would there be a chance that he could file for more then the 40% that we agreed upon in the settlement and would he then only have to pay 50% of the child support?

he was the main earner of the house hold while I stayed at home with the kids.


should I avoid living in the same city as the father??

No, you shouldn't 'avoid' living in the same city as their father... especially if you are doing so to keep him from spending extra time with his children.

And there are never 'assurances' when it comes to child custody/access.

Foredeck is correct in saying that "everything related to your kids is always open to renegotiations".

Your ex can petition the court for a change in custody/access whenever there has been a "material change in circumstances".

You relocating closer to his residence is indeed a "material change". If you move into the same neighbourhood/school district as he, then having the children 50/50 or week on week off might become feasible for him, and he could make the request.

That being said, if you have been the primary care provider since birth/after the separation, and the children are well and thriving....you may be able to rely on 'status quo'. Judges do not like to alter the status quo.

You claim that this isn't about the money, it is more about your time with the children..

Your ex was the 'breadwinner', which means you are at a financial disadvantage. I assume that without financial support from your ex, you are concerned about your ability to provide a nice/clean/stable home for your children.

Did you not qualify for spousal support to help with the financial inequality??

I would think that it is just as important that you continue to receive child support, as it is for you to spend time with your children. But you shouldn't avoid moving closer to their father because you may loose some of the child support.

He is entitled to spend as much time with his children as you are, and in some cases a 50/50 arrangement is really what is best for the children.

You are worred because you 'love spending time with your children'.... maybe their father loves spending time with them too???

If you are considering making a move, try to think about what is actually best for your children....

BTW....He wouldn't pay 50% of the CS.... basically you would look at your income and what you would pay him for 2 children, he would look at his imcome and what he would pay you for 2 children. Then he would pay you the 'difference', if any.

[got2bkid]

If you did share custody 50/50 you'd have more time for working and earning an income. I have heard that kids and adults adjust to this very well when both parents cooperate and think of the children first. You might find that a little more free time will help you to feel/become more financially independent. CS does end at some point, so it is good to be well prepared for that.

[Mess]

If the agreement states 60/40 in writing then this qualifies as "50/50" anyway. You need above 60%, even one hour above, to qualify as the 100% custodial parent.

It's pretty darn hard to hit exactly 60% anyway. Exactly 50% is easy if you alternate weeks.

I agree with the other posters, the fact that you would miss the kids if he had a few extra hours, or one more overnight that allowed you to go out with friends or take a night course, well that is not fair to him or the kids. But putting our feelings aside, please realize that it wouldn't be a fair arguement in court either. Court would weigh how much you miss them, and how much he misses them, and weigh that equally. So really, you should think about what is best for your children, and if you can think of actual reasons why they are better off spending the majority of time with you, then use those reasons.

If the loss of some of the child support money would be debilitating, the court would take that into account as "undue hardship" and the support could be adjusted.

Also, I agree that you wouldn't lose half of the CS. Here is an example:

2 children, father earns $80k per year, he would pay the mother $1159 per month if she had full custody.

If they split custody, and she earned $20k per year, the father would pay $851 per month (the amount he would pay minus the amount the mother would pay).

If you are a stay at home mum with $0 income, CS wouldn't even be affected. If you worked part time, the amount you received would probably be almost the same. There really isn't a huge financial reason not to do 50/50. You would have the same housing costs, but on nights the children were with their father you would save considerably on electricy and groceries each month, and you should be able to arrange a schedule that allows you some personal life without having to hire a babysitter.

[Deputy Daddy]

if I was in the same city as him. Is there any assurances that I keep the kids for the 60% I have them.

There are no assurances of anything if he is determined to parent his kids.

If he wants to be in their lives and is able to take good care of them then choosing to live distant when you could live closer to him is NOT in the kids' best interests. If you lived in the same city it's very likely he would ask for, and recieve 50/50.

If, however, you decide to live far away and he gets fed up with minimal access time HE might even apply for full custody himself, and from the way your posts read I think it is all about the money and/or control of the kids. If it comes over that way to a judge it may go badly for you...

This has been said so many times it is becoming the kind of cliche' that gets passed over without a second though, but do what is in the children's best interests. At first glance you may not see that that is in your best interest as well, but it truly is in the long run. A peaceful relationship between their parents is good for the kids and good for both of you, and the half-time parent thing is not a bad deal, really.

DD

[billiechic]

Sometimes it hurts like hell to do what is best for your kids. Think how much he is hurting by not getting equal time with them. As parents we want to do anything we can to give our kids the best. Giving them a good relationship with BOTH parents IS the best thing you can do. Unless there is a good reason to not share 50/50, it is best for everyone.

[dadtotheend]

should I avoid living in the same city as the father??

Why in heaven's name would you do that? Avoid having your children live in the same city as the father?

By now you must realize how ($) selfish that sounds!! Worse, NOT in the best interests of your children.

[canniiee]

Money isn't really the issue I am just more concerned that he would have the kids for longer as I love spending time with my kids.

but the main issue is the city would he have a better chance with negotiations if I was in the same city as him. Is there any assurances that I keep the kids for the 60% I have them.

Seriously? I love every second I have with my kids and I would love nothing more than to have them 100% of the time... but that's not fair to my kids, they love their Dad and should have equal time with him.... Just because the kids came out of us women dosen't mean we should have more rights...

[Banaschar]

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