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  • Ex interfering with contact with Child

    I have a court order that say I am allowed "Unlimited telephone access" to my child as long as it is before and no later than 7:30pm. My ex has tried to tell me that I can only call my daughter once a week (I go eleven days between my visits and I use to only go three days before she moved). My daughter wants me to call and asks me to call her everyday which I would love to but know it would just annoy my ex and cause more problems so for this reason I only call a couple times a week. Now I send a text message asking to talk to my daughter and my ex just ignores the text message. What can I do?? Court order also states that should one parent not follow the order the police can be contacted and involved. Any advice?

  • #2
    well I am thinking the police have better things to do and will probably tell you to take it court.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Mouse_117 View Post
      ...My daughter wants me to call and asks me to call her everyday which I would love to but know it would just annoy my ex and cause more problems so for this reason I only call a couple times a week ...
      From this you are the one that has decided not to call every day. You can't call the cops etc, if you don't actually try everyday and then record it if you are denied. You have to force the calls (as long as it does not stress your daughter, who cares about the ex being annoyed!!) - sorry I don't know your situation but from what you said, you need to call everyday and ignore the ex.

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      • #4
        Yeah.. I guess in trying to be the peace keeper and nice one I am just screwing myself over. I think from now on I will ask to talk to her and just keep record of when she denies it and then when I have a list long enough I guess I will just take her back to court.
        I agree the police have better things to do but just last week I had the police calling me because she called them wanting to charge me with harassment because I sent her four text messages asking to talk to my daughter between 3pm and 6pm then told her if she was not going to follow the order I guess we would have to go back to court. The cop didn't charge me and said it was not harassment. I have an email from the police officer that states he spoke to her and asked her to "Please respect my wishes to talk to my daughter more than once a week when she is not with me" and that my ex stated that "she would do that".
        I guess the $10,00 I just spent in court was a waste of money because she is just going against the order and doing whatever she wants anyways..

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        • #5
          couple of suggestions

          I have a couple of suggestions...first, I don't know how old your daughter is, but if she is of an age she can comprehend that you are going to call, then tell her that you will be calling her at 6pm on monday, wednesday and friday...And make sure you call her at that time on that day. That way she will know to expect the call and her mother may be less inclined to deny her the phone access.
          If she is old enough...such as 11 or 12...you could get her a cell phone with a text messaging plan only and this could be used as communication.
          Write her a card or letter every sunday and mail it out that day so that she may get it in the mail by the middle of that week. She will know you are thinking of her (hoping her mother gives her the mail).
          You could also drop off a card or cute little note to her school a couple of days a week and ask her teacher to give it to her.
          Once you try every possible route to stay in contact with your daughter...without adding stress or communication with her mother, hopefully things will start to lighten up.
          Hope this helps some.

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          • #6
            MaggieT has great advise I also suggest to keep a diary of your contact with the daughter and interactions with her mother. Make sure to be meticulous with dates times and conversations. These are admissible in family court. If possible get a record of the texts that you sent, the call (text) log will show the string of texts and if they were responded to or not. Also consider a recording devise for your telephone and all conversations with the ex. Again, in family law, (not criminal law) these recordings are allowed.

            If you can show significant interference then you can easily take the issue before a judge and have the access amended in your favour.

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            • #7
              The police will likely not act upon the order.
              I like the text phone idea....why can't your child call you ?

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              • #8
                Originally posted by FL_Needs_To_Change View Post
                Again, in family law, (not criminal law) these recordings are allowed..
                In Canada (many people are confused by American movies and TV) it is legal to record a conversation as long as one party (meaning you) is aware of the conversation. To be clear, that means a third party (like your neighbour) isn't allowed to eavesdrop.

                In a criminal case, this information would certainly be allowed, and information that concerns a criminal act not only is allowed to be used, in most cases you are required to report knowledge of criminal activity.

                In family law it would be up to the judge to decide if a recording, or especially hours of recordings of calls with your ex, is relevant or not. The judge could easily decide it's not worth going through it all. It is still a good idea to have such recordings if is going to be your word against theirs and you know they will lie about it, but there is no guarantee that the recordings will be used.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Mess View Post
                  In family law it would be up to the judge to decide if a recording, or especially hours of recordings of calls with your ex, is relevant or not. The judge could easily decide it's not worth going through it all. It is still a good idea to have such recordings if is going to be your word against theirs and you know they will lie about it, but there is no guarantee that the recordings will be used.
                  We had been legally advised by our lawyer to record all conversations without their knowledge, which we did, and we did submit as exhibits both transcribed and actual tape recordings (to demonstrate the transcripts were not altered from the true version) in an argument the ex claimed and the judge did take the recordings into consideration and ruled in our favour.

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