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  • What happens if I die???

    I have always had custody of our child.
    Her bio-dad hasn't seen her in 8 years, (he lives nearby??!!)
    Her step-father has raised her since she was 4.

    Can I ask the court to appoint my husband as Guardian, in the event of my untimely death???

    I'd like to have the peace of mind knowing that if something were to happen to me, she would be able to stay in her home, with her sister, and her "Daddy"... without some tremendous custody battle.

    How would I word something like that?

    I would really appreciate it if I could get at least a few suggestions....??? Thanks all!!!

  • #2
    I am not sure if this will help.
    I asked the same question from my lawyer.The diference is he sees the kids regularly after every 2 weeks and I wanted my sisiter to be a guardian after me.And my lawyer said I can make a will being a CP but if he challenges it after my death chances of his victory are 100%

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    • #3
      Does anyone happen to know what happens when the biodad hasn't seen the child in years?

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      • #4
        I have a hard time imagining myself being raised by a step-dad when my bio dad is alive. Regardless of your hate towards each other, he is still her REAL father. In a scenario when both bio parents die, preference is always given to blood relatives such as grand parents, uncles, aunts etc. over non-bio or foster parents. I believe blood is always thicker than water.

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        • #5
          Amazing sd99... but you didn't answer my question.

          Bio-dad and I broke up when I was 2 months pregnant, I was 17, he was 24.

          Her "real" father up and decided 8 years ago that he just "couldn't get along" with our daughter and stopped seeing her. Just like that. She was 4 years old

          For 3 years after that, I did everything I could to maintain a relationship between our daughter and her grandmother. But, when bio-dad's sister had a baby, and the family got a "new" grandchild... even my daughters' grandparents walked away from her...

          Never a call, or a birthday card... NOTHING.

          Since then, none of them have even attempted to contact her, in any way, even though we live in the same city.

          That being said, her stepfather has raised her, provided for her, loved her and cherished her. HE was the one to hold her when she was sick, taught her to read, ride a bike, catch big fishes, go camping, help her with her homework..... EVERYTHING a "father" should do.

          She loves him as much as a daughter can love her daddy.

          Her "blood" father is a stranger, a faded memory.... he wanted it that way....

          So singledad99.... in most circumstances I would agree with you that a "real" biological parent should be first in line for custody... but in my case, I don't think it is appropriate.

          If my daughter lost her stepfather, she would be devastated. If her biological father died tomorrow, it would mean very little.

          If I were to die.... it would be absolutely devastating to my family if bio-dad were able to step in and rip our daughter away from the only father she has ever known, away from her little sister, and from her home.

          It would take a truly cruel and heartless monster to do that to a child....

          Wouldn't you agree?

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          • #6
            Originally posted by representingself View Post
            I have always had custody of our child.
            Her bio-dad hasn't seen her in 8 years, (he lives nearby??!!)
            Her step-father has raised her since she was 4.

            Can I ask the court to appoint my husband as Guardian, in the event of my untimely death???
            Yes, you can appoint anyone as a Guardian. Do it through a lawyer's office to make it official.

            Comment


            • #7
              Thank you Stargate....

              That's all I needed to know. I really appreciate your response.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by representingself View Post
                ..........

                Her "real" father up and decided 8 years ago that he just "couldn't get along" with our daughter and stopped seeing her. Just like that. She was 4 years old

                For 3 years after that, I did everything I could to maintain a relationship between our daughter and her grandmother. But, when bio-dad's sister had a baby, and the family got a "new" grandchild... even my daughters' grandparents walked away from her...

                Never a call, or a birthday card... NOTHING.

                .......
                That's truly sad and an example of real dead-beat (bio) Dad and grandmother.

                Shame shame on them!!

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                • #9
                  is there any way to get the bio dad to sign off and let the step-father adopt her?? That way the bio dad has no rights and she can stay with the only family and father that she has really had.

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                  • #10
                    I aproached him, (via email) last year and asked him if he would consent to an adoption. He ignored my messages.
                    I mailed the adoption consent forms to his mother, and didn't get any response from that either.

                    When he finally responded, he demanded that I sign out of FRO first, and when I immediately agreed to do so, I never heard from him again.

                    He refuses to answer my emails.

                    (Any help with my other post called, Can Anyone Help Me? would also be appreciated).

                    I am terrified that if I were to be killed in an accident, or get sick and die, that my daughter would be left hanging in the balance.

                    My husband and I have talked about stuff like this, and I KNOW he would fight like h*ll to keep her... but I'd like to get him some form of parental rights (via guardianship), just in case.

                    You never know what could happen.

                    And I don't know if a Judge would allow her to stay at home, or if her bio-dad would have more rights, because of their genetic link. ???

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                    • #11
                      Hi there,

                      I know exactly how you feel as I worry about this too. You really should retain the services of a laywer to draw up documents for the biological father to relinquish all parental rights and for you husband to formally adopt your daughter. All the best!

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                      • #12
                        I can only get an adoption order if the Judge dispenses with bio-fathers consent.

                        So option B, is to finally, after 12 years, go back and update our original court order.

                        Can I ask that my husband (childs step-father) be granted custody/guardianship of my daughter if I happen to expire before she turns 18?

                        Has anyone out there ever done this?

                        Keep in mind bio-father has not been around for 8 years.... her step-father is her REAL FATHER

                        Thanks all

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                        • #13
                          As this is an important issue for you (as it should be) I would recommend you seek the advice/services of a lawyer. It would be $$$ well spent.

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                          • #14
                            Yeah...... you're probably right

                            I just wish I could find someone or something that would lead me to believe that it is possible to get what I want.

                            Thank You..

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                            • #15
                              I Will try my best to answer...

                              In the case of the courts, law and Judges who are supposed to be neutral, children are not property, assets, or anything tangible that can be willed off, sold, bartered with, nor can they be left at the discretion of a will to a situation, environment or person because one feel like it. Not here in Canada anyway.

                              There is no such thing as signing away parental rights in Canada, it gets confused with forfeiting access, which you would still be accountable for child support. How ever in the United States you can, and there is also a Guardianship entry that can be left in a will.

                              Its like I always tell parents...its not about you...you're fears maybe warranted...but you need to work on those (mom and bio-dad) and come up with a solution that can allow you be at ease. Yes it is easier said than done, but it can be done!

                              My only advice, talk to your daughters dad and explain your concern...let him know how she is...he may not respond, but most men are slow to begin with and it may take time before he comes around. You have to look at it that way though, he will come around! I wish you the best and hope that you live a long healthy life so your fears are just that.

                              Comment

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