taking child out of province

[fireweb13]

Hello everyone,
Just wondering if I can get some feedback on what I should do.I am the father of an amazing 3 year old girl,seperated from my spouse 2 years ago and things have been rocky at best since.I have family in Montreal but live in Toronto,my parents and other family is down there and we go down 2 or more times a year.I have taken my daughter down many times and never had an issue,at christmas of last year we were down there and my ex was acting up,she said we were not where we said we were and even though she had the address and phone number(and has been to my moms in the past) called the police because she did not believe us.The police from toronto called me and had a good laugh about it and wished me a good weekend because they saw through it.Then the next day we were getting ready to leave Montreal and come home and a Police officer came to the door saying that my ex called and was worried that we were not coming home with my daughter,we had the stuff packed at the door ready to go,I showed him the letter she signed OKing the trip and the emails and txt msgs that we had during the trip,he said he would call her back and tell her to not call unless its an emergency and that she wasted there time.So now its my mothers 60th birthday and we made plans to have a big party on the long weekend,told my ex over the phone and she said it sounded good.I am scheduled to have my daughter on that weekend so it seemed allright.Unfortunatly regarding taking my daughter out of province I have to get written consent, we have joint custody but she was worried at the time that i would run away so in the court order we put this line "Neither party shall take the child out of the province of Ontario without the prior written consent of the other party,which shall not be unreasonably witheld" .So I gave her a letter with the dates and address and phone number of where we will be staying,like every other time and asked her to look over the copy and get it back to me sunday when I dropped off our child.On sunday she told me she is not signing it because of what happened at christmas and I don;t know what to do,we have 3 weekends until the long one and my moms really looking forward to this.She is being unreasonable but I am not sure exactly what to do in this case.Thank you for any input I truly appreaciate any and all help.

Kevin

[PhoenixRising]

Most likely the police will not get involved in that. Only option then would be to heard down to the court house with your previous court decision and your letter. Talk to the duty counsel and I think your should be able to file a motion. But do it tomorrow in case the court makes her appear, the court may also issue an order allowing you to go on the trip since no apparent reason for not allowing you to go is being upheld.

[fireweb13]

I will see what I can do,getting a day off work is hard stuff,and its an hour away but if its that important I will have to do it.

[PhoenixRising]

In that case call the court house and see if you can talk to duty counsel on the phone first.

But I suspect that you will have to legally force her to allow you to go.

[billm]

"Neither party shall take the child out of the province of Ontario without the prior written consent of the other party,which shall not be unreasonably witheld"

She has broken the court order, not you. She is unreasonably withholding consent. The child has rights to visit relatives, as do you to travel freely with her. I don't see the harm in taking her without written consent as again, she is the one breaking the agreement. However, getting the court order may be the safest thing to do, it is just that life would be better if we could all live like 'normal' people and never see the inside of a court room....

[fireweb13]

Ive booked tomorow off of work so I can head up and deal with this through the court.I just feel that maybe if the court deals with her attempt of a power trip then it might help a little,I also have a few other things that I have been meaning to do up there so it is good to finally have the push like this to do it.
If anyone could help with exactly what I should do when I get to the court tomorow that would be great,I am going to bring up all the previous letters for our trips,and anything else relevant that I have with me.

Kevin

[standing on the sidelines]

considering it is your mothers 60th birthday party maybe she could write a letter stating that she would like to spend part of her day with her grandchild? It is a special occasion and maybe the courts would look favourably on that.

[doingmybest]

Did you have any luck with your situation?

I have been in similar situations, I do not need consent to leave, just need to inform. Perhaps you might think of asking for a change to the court order...mine reads "If one party is taking the child on a vacation away from the regular home, they must inform the other party, in writing of the plans including address, flight or travel numbers, phone numbers, dates and times, 30 days in advance of the trip." It also says "The child must be provided the opportunity to call the other parent twice per week, while away".

Obviously, this time it is really too close...but maybe ask the duty counsel if this is something that would work out more reasonably in the future.
Or perhaps they will have an even better solution.

But really having to go through this every time you want to take your daughter to visit family, if you are not a flight risk...well, it is a bit ridiculous.

Good luck. I hope you and your child make it to your moms party.

[fireweb13]

Thank you all,I am heading up to court in about an hour to talk to duty counsil.She likes to think I am a flight risk for some reason,even though I work here,have an apartment and go to school here,and long time girlfriend goes to university and works here and we have always been home on time.She just chose to be angry at me this time.Part of it is jelousy because I am in a better situation then when I was with her. again thank you very much.

[fireweb13]

Hello,
I went to the court and put in the motion for wanting the court to ok my trip today.The lawyer said that things look good,I have to serve her the papers and we go back not this thursday but next.The lawyer also said that if I win she has to pay all my expenses for the trouble she caused.

Kevin

[PhoenixRising]

Good for you Kevin!

Make sure you document all the trouble you went through, like booking 2 days off of work etc.

She will have to tell the court her valid reason for not permitting the trip, especially since it was your weekend anyways.

Sometimes the stupid hoops we have to jump through to get anywhere.

[fireweb13]

Hello,
Just got back from court.I can take my daughter to Montreal for our trip,but was not awarded my costs for some reason.I can suck it up but it did cost me $500,at least the bottom line is that I get to take my little girl to grandmas house.

[PhoenixRising]

Good for you Kevin!

Let us hope this does not happen to you again. The next time just represent yourself now that you have gone through this already.

Have fun at your Mom's 60th birthday.

[sufferer]

I went through the same situation.Its hard dealing with the nuts.He refused to give his consent for travelling to USA.So again i had to fie the motion etc etc and on the motion date he agreed to sign the travel consent.BUt then my lawyer made sure to make a new order stating that i am allowed to travel anywhere in North America without interfering his access without is consent but yes informing him of my plans.Though costed me 1700 dollars but now I have peace of mind