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How important is it to keep showing up child's school when gearing up for contempt ?

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  • #16
    Originally posted by accused_dad View Post
    The applicant shall consult with the respondent regarding any decisions involving the health, religion, education and general welfare of the children. If there is disagreement, the respondent shall have the final say, provided that either party may refer the issue to arbitration
    These are the regular disagreements which not only come up for everyone, but can be something new every week. Courts don't want to deal with these simple issues every time and want you to try mediation first.

    Your access issue is more direct. There is a specific order not being followed. Mediation alternatives are not needed for this when the specific issue has already been ruled on.

    You should listen to Tayken. Make an offer for ex to correct their ways then bring a contempt motion.

    Waiting months on end reducing your access claim and looks more like you're in agreement with the new no access schedule.

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    • #17
      I hear what you're saying. We did sign the mediation agreement though and we actually had a good session today. Mediator said we should continue to jointly make decisions so that the child can't play us, and that child needs to hear from mom that I'm an amazing dad, etc. Because mom said I'm an amazing dad when asked.

      we agreed to implement a gradual approach to resuming my time, and that only I will show up when it's my time to pickup child. my daughter has reached out to in the middle of our session, to see me on friday, in the midst of this mediation process, i brought that up and now I am set to pick up child from school to spend some time together, and move towards returning to the usual schedule. Won't be sleepovers just yet, because child said no sleep overs "yet" . so more of a gradual approach.

      mediation agreement says we can't take any fresh steps, etc while mediating. so I would have to withdraw my consent and file the contempt motion. mediation is going really well though, we even agreed to meet with coffee with child, and each bring one family member, following my time with child. To arrange, we will coordinate by email with the mediator copied on the emails.

      I will follow up with my lawyer on advice too, but I think I should still try this. Mediator is definitely keeping the pressure on the return to the regular schedule.

      the only thing, is to not get manipulated.

      I feel like if mom pulls out of mediation, then I could show that she is the one who pulled out of trying to work through issues amicably, and there cannot be any argument whatsoever as to whether i exhausted all possible options or not before returning to court.

      What do you guys think?

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      • #18
        Originally posted by accused_dad View Post
        my daughter has reached out to in the middle of our session, to see me on friday, in the midst of this mediation process, i brought that up and now I am set to pick up child from school to spend some time together, and move towards returning to the usual schedule.
        Given your situation, I would have serious concerns about the timing of that call. Hopefully it works out for you.

        Easier and faster options are available, but at the end of the day all that matters is that you're ok with the situation.

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        • #19
          Is it really easier and faster though? My lawyer said the courts taking forever to do things currently. Had an expiated motion that was still waiting to be heard after a few months.... even on a motion to change, few lawyers i consulted said at least 5-6 months before you get to your first conference

          Another challenge is, if child was younger, say 8, yes, no question, motion gets filed immediately and mom can ask for whatever she wants in interim, mediation, etc, etc. When a similar thing occurred when child was around 8, when mom unilaterally reduced my time to less than the status quo that was in place for a year, in the middle of an OCL assessment, we filed an immediate motion, heard within 2 weeks, and my access was reinstated. Because child is 14 turning 15 lawyer said with teenagers it's a whole different beast, usually mom comes in saying it's the child that doesn't want to go, etc, etc making things complicated.

          anywho, Had great time with child and child said they want to start coming over and having overnights. I feel like I should go with this, also check in with my lawyer, and see how it goes? Mom and I seem to be getting along a lot better now. whether it's for real or for show in the face of mediation, only time will tell I guess.

          That being said, the agreement says only like or 4 weeks to resolve the issue in mediation, then either party can go to court. I guess no harm in getting whatever time I can get with child so when I go in with the motion there some access having taken place than all out flat no access no communication from child for months on end, right??

          Comment

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