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first settlement conference

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  • first settlement conference

    Settlement conference coming within days.

    I have not received "their" brief.

    My lawyer stated to me that it will be an adjournment (but I do not know why).

    The other lawyer sends emails every two weeks asking for full table child support and to update my financials which have not changed and I have told them that.

    I am not currently paying child support because we make the same amount of money and have 50/50.

    All the research I've done regarding a settlement conference is not matching what my lawyer says will happen.

    I wrote up a separation agreement as an offer to settle and sent it to my lawyer to share....... apparently this will not be addressed.

    I am completely lost as to what the heck is happening.

    Any guidance or sharing of experiences with this would be appreciated.

  • #2
    Also, if I move in with my bf.....and we share expenses.....does this make a difference in terms of what my income is?

    Asking because clearly this is all going to be adjourned and likely wont be addressed until the new year.


    • #3
      Not sure why your lawyer says it will be adjourned, did your lawyer came to that conclusion by talking to the OP? Did you receive a request for adjournmenr from them? I assume you and OP agreed to the SC date? Have you served and filed your SC brief per rules? have you served your updated financial per rules by stating nothing has changed. Did you include OTS in your SC brief? Also make sure you serve and file your confirmation of SC.

      Beware, If you do what is expected of you they have to do what they are expected to do. Also, the SC judge can give you cost if they arent prepared


      • #4
        First thing: giving them a separation agreement means nothing. You need to make an offer to settle the issues between you. By now you should know what the other party wants and you can make an offer. You don't write up the whole agreement, you offer specific items.

        Second, if you live with someone, unless you are claiming hardship, their income and contribution to the household means nothing.


        • #5
          I know basically nothing. The last email from my lawyer said it’s to be spoken to at this settlement conference and is now telling me I don’t even have to attend


          • #6
            Your lawyer may be the problem.

            Have you attended any of the court appearances? What have the other parties materials said.

            A settlement conference brief basically lays out the details “we were married on, separated on, have x children who are y ages, etc”. Then there is an section which outlines an offer to settle. As in “i agree to pay xyz in monthly support, i agree to pay my proportionate share of expenses at xyz%, etc”.

            You may want to have a frank discussion with your lawyer and maybe do some reading about the process.


            • #7
              I don't think a court appearance can be a "to be spoken to" and a "settlement conference" at the same time. We had a settlement conference scheduled and our lawyer had to put in some paperwork (agreed to by all parties) to change the type of appearance to a "to be spoken to." Also- what's the reasoning for full table support if there is 50/50? Does your ex give a justification? Just wondering


              • #8

                So my lawyer did not attend, she sent someone from her office.

                An official settlement conference is scheduled for 10 months from now as a result of this "too be heard" thing. I still do not have clarification on what that was about.

                In the meantime, I have submitted to the other persons lawyer for their review some issues to settle.....hopefully mutual orders can be made.

                My lawyer stepped up and sent an email to the other side saying that off set child support is basically zero because it's 50/50 and we make the same amount of money.

                The ex has now started a campaign to have the youngest diagnosed with ADHD. Out of the blue.

                The youngest is a typical child but does best with consistency, appropriate discipline and guidance. I do not see any tendencies toward ADHD at my house.

                The other parent had paperwork to fill out for the referral for ADHD dx but will not provide me with an email or fax number to send it to.

                I have also asked for copies of what they and teachers filled out.....I have not gotten those.

                The child is in a school that is not his first language just fyi.

                the other lawyer has not responded to the child support situation (being 50/50 equal incomes) the other lawyer just keeps sending demand letters for child support.

                So, I'll update as thing move forward.

                Any connection to a lawyer that can do the "pay as you go" would help me out a lot. I write and research all my own stuff....maybe not perfect but doesn't cost thousands of dollars that is basically taken from my children at the end of the day.


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