Update

[About_Time]

Just wanted to let you all know that I finally got my agreement hammered out in court last week and an order will be en route shortly. She got way more than she deserved, but less than she would have gotten if we had let the courts decide everything, so I'm still pretty positive about the whole thing.

I got joint custody and a set, time-limited amount for spousal - my two main goals. I'm going to be flat broke and living with family for another year, but then I'm pretty much free from any spousal or equalization obligations. I'll be 100% debt-free to boot. Talk about a fresh start!

It's been a tough road, but I just wanted to thank everyone on here for their advice and support. I wish I had found you all sooner, but am thankful to have found you at all!

I'll still hang around though and offer what advice I can - it's the least I can do.

[#1StepMom]

Wooohoo! Congratulations About Time! I'm glad things worked out for you. It's such an uphill battle, and most of the time, "she" gets more than "she deserves" but I am glad you got to keep some dignity. Congratulations again, and all the best to you in your fresh start!

[Gottaend]

Congratulations! Let's hope there is some hope for us too. We have court in 3 weeks to end the spousal support payments my hubby has been paying for 11 years to his ex. They were married for 9 years...so you can imagine we are excited to have this nightmare end. I will also update everyone to where this case goes.

Again, congratulations!

[lawchanger]

We are off to court today to end SS, 10 yrs of paying is enough. Ladies get on with your lives and inform your sons what happens when marriage goes bad.

[Gottaend]

lawchanger - please let me know how it turns out for you. With the new guidelines... I am hoping that you should be seeing some good news! My fingers are crossed for you! It is amazing, that people can break the law, and have less time to pay for it than the mistake of getting married to the wrong person... I mean the personal stress and learning from your mistakes is not enough... but then to pay spousal longer than you were ever married is CRAZY!

Please let me know how your case turns out...like I said we are less than 3 weeks away in Whitby, ON to end this nightmare! All the BEST of luck!!!

[Suchislife]

I do hope gottaend and lawchanger have successful outcomes. Yes please, keep us posted.
My partner has been paying for 5 years to an ablebodied, employable, educated, experienced woman fully capable of looking after herself if she chose to become fully employed. In addition to CS for 2 kids it is a financial burden.
We were successful in a 40% reduction last spring however there is no time-limit or end date specified.
I myself left a 16 year relationship, didn't ask for spousal. My theory is if you don't have the man you don't have his money. Plain and simple.

[Gottaend]

Law Changer - So what happened? What was the outcome?

[lawchanger]

Went well. She was asked what she has done to support herself. Nothing of course. She owns her own home, puts $600 a month in savings and has no payments on a $30,000 vehicle. Claims she makes $24/yr has a partner for 8 years. The partner according to her contributes nothing to the household. So therefore without the SS from us would she have a financially tough time. Doesn't look like it. I'd like to put away $600/month. I guess the partner will have to contribute and she will have to work full time like the rest of us.
Enough of just expecting to have someone support you forever.
The CS for the 22 yr old is a non issue although she is claiming she needs control of him because he didn't get one course of Grade 12. (He says he did) She claims he only moved in with his girlfriend last month They have lived together for over 1 1/2yrs. Keep records and pictures everybody.
We are predicting a good outcome and will be settled in 2 weeks. I will let you know but for now the Champagne is chilling.

[lawchanger]

Me too Sushilife I raised my two girls no SS and little CS. But guess what we all danced at their weddings. That is priceless and worth all the hard times that we went through. I am proud of them and of myself and the no SS was my choice.

[lawchanger]

In front of the Judge today - stay tuned!

[About_Time]

Good luck! Fingers are crossed for you

[Gottaend]

lawchanger - All the BEST of luck in front of the Judge today! We are back in court Tuesday June 23rd.... and believe it or not, it hasn't been delayed... as yet(Shocker!)

Please do update us all... we are all waiting to see that the laws are changing!!! I will too update after Tuesday's court appearence.

BEST OF LUCK!

[ikikass70]

Gottaend...

We were very successful in the Whitby/Oshawa courts!

We too were dealing with a fully able bodied, well educated, past (huge) earning potential ExW wanting upwards of $1200 is spousal support.

During the settlement conference, the judge imputed her income and awarded the low amount of support.

So...$1200 became $210 per month with a scheduled reveiw after 5 years. Additionally, the 5 years of support is retro-active from the time my partner left the ExW.

After 3 hours in onsite mediation, the ExW saw the writing on the wall that she had no case and signed off on the judges recommendation. It was all put into orders and now we can continue on with our lives!

I hope you have the same outcome! Please keep us posted!

[Gottaend]

ikikass70 - I am so happy to hear this!! We are in the Whitby/Oshawa court on Tuesday. Don't know if you read below our history... but my hubby has been paying for 11 years and married for 9. We are going to see Judge Gonzalas.... did you have the same Judge? My fingers are crossed, and you are giving me some glimmer of hope that this nightmare should end!

[Gottaend]

Update.... Our June 23rd case

Ok...thought I would update everyone with my husbands case to end spousal support. He went June 23rd for a 11:30 case at the Oshawa courts. He was suppose to have the same Judge that asked his ex to produce a Drs note claiming she can't work (which she couldn't get... only a note that said her current condition would make it difficult)

OK... so the judge heard both lawyers for about 45 mins, then called in my husband and his ex. Started to begin by saying that my husband has done his responsibilty and support, and also stated that his ex has also had hardship and health issues and told both sides that this WILL end. However.... we can still go to trial and look at paying 15-20K at trial if she wanted to fight the fact this will end.

After a LONG delay, distress and crying on the ex side... to come up with a agreement for both parties. The court made it clear they would not cut her off the payroll immediately as she had to get her affairs in order (life without his spousal support.... house, food whatever else she does) so the agreement is this... not good for either side.

2 more years of payments of $1550 ($230 less) the OVER.

Just want to keep everyone updated. I am not jumping over the moon with this..but at least the new guidelines are being considered and there is a END to the nightmare. In 2 years... we can move on with our lives without payments to lawyers, and ex.