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  • Changing access

    I am just wondering if anyone knows how I could file to apply for a change to the current child visitation my ex has with our daughter.

    Thank you

  • #2
    The only way to do this is to put a motion in front of the courts,but you better have a VERY good reason and substantial evidence to support your reason or you will get nowhere. Judges do not like to change the status quo and unless your child is in physical danger more than likely you will not be able to change your current arrangements.

    I am not trying to be a downer just someone who knows how this works and I have seen it from both sides, me who has an emotionally abusive ex who still gets his kids every other w/e and my partner who wants nothing more to be more involved in his kids' lives and not being given that opportunity.

    And seriously unless you fear for your child's safety, don't do it, you aren;t doing your child any favours by shutting their other parent out of their lives, once again unless the other parent is abusive towards them.


    • #3
      Originally posted by doingmybest View Post
      I am just wondering if anyone knows how I could file to apply for a change to the current child visitation my ex has with our daughter.
      Before a court considers change an access order or agreement, it will have to be convinced (by you) that there has been a significant change in the child's circumstances that affects the child's best interests. If you do succeed in convincing a court that something has changed significantly, the court will embark on a fresh inquiry to determine what's best for the child. In this case, the courts do not presume in favour of the status quo, but the custodial parent's views are entitled to "great weight".

      Legitimate changes include that one parent has moved further away, the child is older and is expressing a desire to see more/less of a parent, or the custodial parent has frustrated access.

      In other words, you can't just show up to a court and ask for a change to visitation for any ol' reason. There has to be a significant reason, it has to relate to the child and their best interests.


      • #4
        I counted up the total days of access in 1 yr for my ex. It equates to 12% of the year...45 days total.

        I have an almost 6 yr old who is extremely intelligent and does not want to go to his house....various reasons, she is ignored there, locked in the bedroom, told she can't phone home, she is verbally and emotionally abused (just like when he actually lived with us....he has not gone to the court ordered parenting classes he is suppose to attend).

        The second reason is, and I just counted up the dates....he has forfeited, brought her back early, or changed access 20 plus times in less than 1.5 yrs.
        He always has a really good reason: had a wedding to attend, had a birthday party to go to, had to work last minute change, had to go on vacation, needed a social boys night out.....

        He always calls last minute too, sometimes 5 minutes before he is to pick her up.... if he does request change to the next Sunday or a different day, 5 times it has been when she and I already had plans, but I always rework our life to accommodate his requests....this is getting a little ridiculous, all these changes he requires. I am trying to look out for the best interest of my child, however I am not sure if this constant changing is the best thing.

        I would be interested to know what other access plans there are out there? What works for people? Is there something more flexible.....

        Thank you.


        • #5
          Since my access order four months ago, my ex has only exercised access 50.7% of the time since he asked for it to be changed.

          You could figure out the hours your ex was supposed to have for access, and add up the hours he actually exercised the access and get a percentage.

          Lawyer advised me anything less than 60% warrants bringing a motion for a reduction in access, and 50% or less I could ask for OCL to assess the situation and until that assessment, I could ask for no access. But my situation may be different in that emotional abuse and parental alienation are going on in that household.

          Last minute cancellations, no phone call to say they aren't taking child, etc. are not in the child's best interests. Lawyer told me that a reduction in access can help if the parent makes honest attempt to set aside one weekend to see child per month. The parent is not thinking in the best interests of child by not showing up. Reducing access for NCP can give stability to child so they don't continually be disappointed by missed access visits.

          Tough call though. You can't make him be a parent. You can only do what you can do. Good luck.


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