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Arrgghh! Help Again! School Pickups

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  • Arrgghh! Help Again! School Pickups

    Ok so my fiance and I are planning on moving outside of Ottawa. Currently I pick up my daughter after work at her daycare/school on my specific times.

    My fiance has picked her up from school before which my ex agreed to but then had a change of heart because I didn't tell her one day that she picked her up and told the school to not allow her to pick up again.

    So now it becomes more then an odd convience thing it'll become a need that on regular basis my fiance picks up my daughter and also she's off earlier and can get her ealier then I can.

    My ex won't allow this and she has no good reason other then she doesn't want my fiance to be left alone with our daughter because she doesn't like or trust her (based on nothing solid and all heresay).

    What can I do... I don't have the $ to spend going to court etc .. does the school have to have both consent to allow another to pick up?

  • #2
    Is there anything in your current order that deals with this issue?

    In our order, it says that if the parent cannot pick the child up, they can have another responsible adult well known to the child pick the child up in their place, as long as the other parent is notified that this person will be picking the child up in the parent's place.

    Personally, I think that is not only the norm, but common courtesy. Your ex seems to just want to be difficult. She will never like or trust your new wife - duh - but unless she has some solid proof as to why she shouldn't trust her, there isn't much she can do because YOU trust her.

    Speaking from personal experience and having stood in your fiancée's shoes, I can empathize and relate to the situation. My stepson's mom, for the longest time didn't want to see me, have me come to pick-ups with my husband, or even pick the child up if he wasn't able to. It wasn't until my husband called her on her insecurities that she let go of trying to shut me out completely, and now even asks if I can pick the child up early because she knows that I'm off all summer long and can pick the child up much earlier, saving her from the responsibility of picking the child up from daycare, feeding him, and getting him ready for my husband and I to pick him up in the evening. It's amazing how when things are convenient for her, it's all okay, even if it wasn't before. ;-)

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    • #3
      There is nothing that deals with this issue in are court order -- other then "All material decisions affecting the health, welfare and education of child shall be made jointly by the parties. "

      She's trying to say that this situation falls in that category. My fiance is pregnant and we're buying a house .. this has made my x upset and jealous... it also has some effect on my daughter which is almost 5.. and she's asking question of how come I'm not marry mommy and why we don't have another baby (with mommy). My x has been vocal about her dislikes for my fiance and my daughter picks up on it even though my x says she doesn't say anything in front of her. (other then saying shes' not family etc). So now my daughter is saying she wants mommy to be mad at my fiance and weird stuff like that.. but when she's with us my daughter absolutely loves my fiance and wants her to put her to bed and do stuff with her that normally only I would do - so I know she's comfortable with her.. she's just confused with the new baby coming along like I think any kid would be.

      I know exactly what you mean when you say it's fine when it's convenient for her.. because she demonstrates this often with access and the likes.

      I'm just basically wondering if I should get the school/daycare in the middle of this or if I should push for a amenment in our final order to include my fiance for pickups... she's saying the time is with me and not my fiance so I should be picking her up or forfit my time.. as well as if I'm going to leave her alone with my daughter.

      It's just agrivating cuz if I want anything changed I have to bring it to court.. if she wants to change something then take it back she just does it... maybe I'm too nice but I'm wondering if I should just tell the school that my fiance is going to pick her up and deal with it afterwards.. it all just drives me nuts!

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