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  • #16
    Hubby - this is all so true. I personally believe a separation can in fact "wake someone up", because they start to see what living on their own and only seeing their kids part-time is really going to be like. And it is very unfair that there has to be some sort of custody agreement and that whatever it is, tends to stick, if in fact everything leads to divorce later on. If my husband would move out, I would have no problem with him coming over for an hour or two after work to see the kids everyday and then going back to his "home". And maybe coming over for several hours on Saturdays. But if we did this, it would become status quo, he would probably be granted 50% access and this would lead to a whole lot of other problems (he works long hours and my kids would need a LOT of babysitting in the week he would have them). And to be honest, if he did not have to pay child support because of 50% access, I would never be able to afford this house or any other house for that matter. We'd be in a small apartment somewhere and he'd have a nice big house for them (even if he bought a new house). It is sad to admit, but the money thing comes into play in shared custody.

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    • #17
      I doesn't make sense to me that you are required to have a one year separation, you can reconcile up to 90 days without having it effect the one year required time period, yet if you leave to try and give your spouse some space, it comes back to bit you. re: status quo & leaving the matrimonial home. The system is definitely a double edged sword.

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      • #18
        Hubby,

        I've noticed you are quite familiar with this forum. In my opinion what I think you really need to understand and everyone else especially men is that our ex's do not automatically have possesion of our children. If I understand correctly (and please any one correct me if i'm wrong) either parent mom or dad can have the as much or little access as they wish with thier children until a "court order" has been issued. i see so many posts and comments from men that my ex will "only allow me every second week-end" and so forth. Please lets be clear with out any incidence of violence both father and mother have equal rights to thier children. ONLY and I repeat ONLY a court order can keep a parent from thier child (children) Please anyone reply as to why we accept the "my ex will only allow me to see my children every.................... Not acceptable. If you as a parent do accept this why should the court not also order as such?

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        • #19
          Originally posted by today
          Hubby,

          I've noticed you are quite familiar with this forum. In my opinion what I think you really need to understand and everyone else especially men is that our ex's do not automatically have possesion of our children. If I understand correctly (and please any one correct me if i'm wrong) either parent mom or dad can have the as much or little access as they wish with thier children until a "court order" has been issued. i see so many posts and comments from men that my ex will "only allow me every second week-end" and so forth. Please lets be clear with out any incidence of violence both father and mother have equal rights to thier children. ONLY and I repeat ONLY a court order can keep a parent from thier child (children) Please anyone reply as to why we accept the "my ex will only allow me to see my children every.................... Not acceptable. If you as a parent do accept this why should the court not also order as such?
          Excellent point and thanks for reminding us ... humans need that once in a while!

          Hubby

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