Working up to an official request to seperate(question)

[mgforums]

Hi,
after several months of conversation with my spouse about getting separated I finally thought I should put it in writing to her.We're not in total agreement over everything but considering our history neither of us are surprised to reach this point.

I don't think of this as a 'legal' document more of a letter of my intention to proceed.However I do point out about splitting the assets 50/50 & wanting to have joint custody of our son.And also about how supportive I'd like us to be towards him.

Anyways, a friend said I should have a lawyer review this letter.
I don't quite see the point of this and I'd like to ask if anybody has an opinion on this?

Thanks

[Kimberley]

If you don't have independent lawyers involved in the process to ensure that you both know where you stand and you have both been given independent advice so later on if one or the other claims that they agreed to it only under duress, than it isn't even worth the paper it's written on.

[mgforums]

Kimberley-thanks for your reply.

I understand what you are saying.However this letter
is meant as a personal one.Not a formal request for an agreement to separate.Once and if we both agree to separate-then we will seek out our own legal counsel.

My subject header is misleading I think-as I used the word 'official'...
when it really is a request to proceed in the direction of separation.
I meant official as in "official in my head"...lol.

Anyways not to split hairs-but I just wanted to put into a letter
that which is hard to put directly across verbally due to the emotions involved.

Which is why I didn't think I needed to get counsel from a lawyer...Yet.

thanks
M

[standing on the sidelines]

sounds like a good idea to me. Maybe this is the way to do it so there are clear and concise ideas of who wants what etc. The longer you hold off getting lawyers involved the better,

[billm]

yes you only need independent advice once, at the end. Keep away from the lawyers - maybe just hire one to help you write an agreement, then at the end get each your own lawyer to advise you (but keep them under control!)

[FL_Needs_To_Change]

I too agree that this is a good first step to getting your feelings across.
It is neutral and non invasive, and hopefully no lawyers will be needed to resolve things and you can move on and take care of your son together.
Lawyers tend to have a single agenda, get the client “everything” they are entitled to, and don’t let up until you do. Some honestly feel that they are doing their clients a huge favour, but when you stop and see what happens to the family as a result it’s anything but a favour!

[mgforums]

Thanks for the replies & support so far
M