doctors visits.

[fireweb13]

Hello,I was wondering if someone could bring some light to a recent issue,among many that i am having with my ex spouse.I picked up my 2 and a half year old daughter 4 weekends ago,noticed that she was red and inflamed in a female area.There was nothing written about it in the book we send back and forth with info on medical and other issues to each other so i decided that because it looked very strange and my ex does have a new much older boyfriend that i wanted to get it checked out at the doctors,we have joint custody so i am allowed to.The doctor said it was from poor hygene but common on young girls,because it might have developed during the 2 week period it might have been hard for my ex to notice but since it was sudden to me i was worried.So i wrote in our go between book that she had a skin irritation and what it was,what it was caused by and what we can do to fix it,now she is insisting that I have to give her the name of the doctor or else i am in big trouble but i don;t know who the doctor was,just one of the many doctors at sick kids who specializes in this area.Does she have a leg to stand on so to speak?

[FreeNow]

I don't know why either of you should be concerned. What you did was just responsible parenting.

FN

[Kimberley]

If it was at a clinic, you can find out what doctors practice on what days.
Also, another thing to beware of with girls is bubble bath, they can also cause issues in a certain female area right up to causing bladder infections - so avoid the stuff too.

[standing on the sidelines]

same thing happened to my friends daughter. It turns out the child was wiping herself from back to front instead of the other way around.

Your ex should be happy that you got it checked out and not be so demanding about the name of the dr. Just tell that you are sorry and if it happens again you will be sure to get the drs name. She is blowing this way out of proportion.

[fireweb13]

thank you all very much,I have had a year and a half of having everything blown out of proportion,I pay support on time everytime,pick her up for her visits and usually send her home in a better state of health then when i got her.Unfortunatly i am on a long road of a custody battle.Thank you all again.

[Kimberley]

Ensure that you take note of the doctor visit, where, when etc etc. It concerns me that your ex did not spot this issue first and you spotted it after she was already red and sore.

[fireweb13]

My ex does not observe things very well,we note everything.Keep tract of all conversations and such,in fact after telling her about this she called me and yelled at me on the phone that what the doctor saw in fact didn;t exsist,but she was going to go to a doctor in her area to have it checked out anyways.She is trying to deny me my daughters updated health card because she does not want me taking her to the doctor at all.

[Kimberley]

I think your response to this should be that in the event of an emergency you should have access to the health card when your daughter is with you.

[fireweb13]

I absolutly agree and have told her that.Unfortunatly she feels that by giving me a photocopy of her health card that it will give me some strange power.She just wants to have all the power and control in our custody case.

[Kimberley]

As I said previously, document these conversations and refusals. Keeping a journal will help you more than you may realize right now when it comes to completing any affidavits for court. On the forms (which regardless of having a lawyer or not, you should read through and draw up a rough draft - no-one knows your case better than you) you have a portion where you are making requests of the court in regards to custody, or a copy of the health card, and in the next portion, you need facts to back up your requests.
Keeping a journal helps you bring forth the facts in your case and can have weighty benefits to you.

I represented myself in my case against my ex starting July 2008 and was able to get my final order during the settlement conference Feb 3rd. I removed my emotions from the matter when filing papers and speaking in court (harder than you can imagine) and backed everything up with facts from my journal.

Just remember, you can do it - it's for your child.

[fireweb13]

thank you very much,I feel that removing myself mentally and trying to visualize myself as an outside party helps me to see the situation a little better.Documenting things has helped me keep track of things even for myself to note.

[dadtotheend]

I absolutly agree and have told her that.Unfortunatly she feels that by giving me a photocopy of her health card that it will give me some strange power.She just wants to have all the power and control in our custody case.

You are a joint custodial parent. You have equal decision making authority on health related matters. It is reckless of the other joint custodial parent to deny you a copy of the health card. Even non-custodial parents have photocopies of the health card in case there is an emergency while in their care.

Send her a registered letter or one through your lawyer requesting a copy of the card. If you don't get a a response, send another. Keep them on file in case you need to demonstrate the other parent's inability to work with you on this important custodial matter.

My four year old daughter has had a few female rashes in the past. They aren't uncommon and don't necessarily result from bad hygeine, so be careful not to overreact. They should, however, be dealt with when they appear and not be allowed to get really bad.

[fireweb13]

Thank you for the insite.the rash was more of an irritation,the doctor mentioned that at the potty training stage its normal for children to not wipe as well as the area might not have been wiped in the past,not trying to spark an arguement with her but just trying to raise the issue.And I make sure to document all the times that i ask her for the health card.