I was just in court a few days ago for a trial management. The judge has said that there will be a pretrial before the actual trial. What is a pretrial an is it common to have one in determining Support payments? I do not wish to go to trial I offered my ex 20% more then the support guidelines suggest but she turned it down and wants to go to trial, is there anything I can do to stop a trial? The judge said if she wins I have to pay for her legal fees, what if I win does she have to pay my expenses? Her lawyer has drummed up some story about the F.R.O giving me credits and thus I owe her 8,000, well first it was 18,000 now apparently its 8,000. I spoke with the F.R.O and they have told me that they do not give credits they only take the money out of my account and put it in hers not the other way around. I am just wondering could her lawyer have a trick up his sleeve or what? This is so frustrating I have paid way too much support many years in the past and when I add all of it up she owes me 5,000. I have all my income tax notices of assessments isn't that what they use to determine support payments. The judge asked my ex lawyer to put down numbers we all agree on, what is up with that the agreed numbers I thought were the ones on my notices of assessment. Court is driving me up the wall and I am getting to the point were I almost want to find a deserted island and take off. I cannot even see my kids and I have to be put through all this for what. I am frustrated thanks for listening.
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An exit pre-trial conference happens days before the trial is scheduled to begin and is the last ditch effort to avoid trial. It doesn't matter whether the issues over which you don't agree are custody, support, property equalization, divorce, possession of the home, an exit pre-trial will be scheduled to help you avoid trial.
If you go to trial, the loser is going to pay some or all of the other's costs. This is because the court will have provided ample advice along the way as to what would likely happen at trial, and still the two of you couldn't agree. The court does not want to decide for you. It wants you to decide between yourselves and it will penalize a party that is being unreasonable about insisting that a trial be heard. Don't forget, there's a reason that only about 3% of these cases get to trial. It's because the system is set up to avoid you going to trial.
The numbers you are throwing around, $8,000, $18,000, $5,000 are not high enough to risk going to court and being saddled with her legal fees, unless you are convinced that you are going to win.
You don't sound too sure of yourself, and by this time you are well and truly down the litigation road. If you don't have a very good handle on the process by now, you are playing with fire.
You don't mention whether you are using a lawyer. If you don't know the ropes about what you're getting yourself into, and you aren't represented, you're going to get eaten alive in the courtroom.
Can't you just make on offer to settle that gives her some more money, but more importantly, gets you seeing your kids again? The one thing that you definitely should be getting is access.Last edited by dadtotheend; 02-03-2009, 11:28 PM.
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FRO likes to feed people alot of misleading information. I think this is an effort to get most to give up. They do give credits and I dont know why they would have told you otherwise but they are under certain circumstances.... mainly by court order or if a recipiant write in a letter of termination. If you ever get the recipiant to write one make sure you have a copy and that you are not the only one. My spouse has been fighting with FRO to cough up this letter and as per their usual stance one person there claims it exists and another says it doesnt. Bottom line is document EVERY thing that you can.
You can insist that they go by the guidelines. But it sounds like they are just playing hardball with you in that they are playing the unfortunate games that happen in far too many of the divorces out there. You have to decide how determined you are in this. If so then this will have to be sorted out in court, and having a lawyer would be most helpful in aiding you in that. Too many couples get caught up in thier bitter feelings and wanting to punish. Truely I think most of us want to do good by our kids and want to contribute to them. So just keep focused on that thought.
If you do have to get a lawyer be staright with them and say you dont want to play those games with your soon to be EX. You cant control hers but you do have a say in yours.
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The F.R.O statements do not show any credits to my account, (plus if I had received a credit of 18,000 or 8,000 I think I would have noticed lol) and If there is a credit then why can't they get the numbers straight. The money she says I owe is outrageous and I cannot afford to pay it. I am already in debt 1,500 every month I cannot afford to give her more I will have to make my new family suffer incredibly if I do so. I just cannot for the life of me understand how she can get away with this. She has not called an F.R.O agent as a witness so I am thinking if they have evidence of a credit then why are they not calling a witness to show that the papers are saying I was given a credit. (and the F.R.O does not show any pluses to my account just negatives. I payed her more then 12,000 extra over the last 5 years I don't think that I should have to give her another 8,000 to make her leave me alone. I am getting a Lawyer in fact I had one already but she backed out at the last minute and so I was left holding the bag last time in court and not knowing what to do. I offered her 400.00 per month and if I defaulted on one payment I would give her 8,000 but she declined my offer and that was 20% above what I was suppose to pay. She is being unreasonable do you think the judge will agree since she rejected such a good offer? I only make 25,000 a year. I have a feeling her lawyer is dragging this out just to get more money from her. We have a statement of my F.R.O account and there is nothing about a credit on it, I have phoned the F.R.O and they said that they do not send anyone to court, can I have them Subpoenaed to come to court or not? I hope my lawyer can sort this all out. As for me seeing my children she has alienated me from them so they do not wish to see me and that makes it really hard to gain access. I have been a good father and a good Dad I just wish the courts would stop treating me as a criminal. I was told by one lady in court that I should know by now how the system works and have a good handle on my case and that I just didn't care. What does she think I should do under the circumstances when my Lawyer backs out because she is to busy, on a Friday night right before my Monday morning trial management case. I am just stressed right out I just want this over with I want to see my children and I want her to just be happy with the 400.00 per month as I can hardly even afford to pay it. Thanks for listening.
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The statement will show if there was a credit applied or not it should also state any payments made and if you are in any arrears. If you have any questions about how the statement is done up a call into FRO may clear it up and they could walk you through the understanding of it. I have seen the statements from FRO and they are confusing to say the least but in the end it should also finally put an end to the issue brought forward by her lawyer . The judge only looks at facts not hearsay. I would hope that you have filed a copy of the statement from FRO with the court as it then will become part of the continuing record the judges rely on when hearing a case. Her lawyer can state whatever they wish too but they need to prove it to be true. The NOA is generally what they use to determine the amount you are to pay for CS as it is the only prove that the courts can go by to show your yearly income. If you did offer 20% above the guidelines of what she is to receive and you are not in the arrears, I would think the trial judge would be thinking she is being unreasonable. I am a bit puzzled about the pre-trial issue as that could undermine the trial judge's way of thinking. I can completely understand your frustration, but remember the truth always comes out in the wash so to speak... although you may know what truly has happened the courts are relying on documents filed to sort it out and even though they are sworn documents that are filed they are that persons perception of the issue and truth not always the reality of the issue. In any case you should remain as calm as possible in the courtroom, sit down and get all your ducks in a row get yourself prepared to answer questions with a no and yes answer do not go into any detail unless asked and try not to react to any thing that is being said by her legal counsel to make you react the judge takes note of that believe it or not.
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