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  • Inspiration

    (I am the Dad’s new ‘spouse’ and ‘legal researcher’, ‘advisor’ and ‘document filler’)

    We had our first case conference and I thought I would share with you what happened, as it went in Dad’s favor and held Mom responsible for herself!

    Mom got a reality check.

    Understanding that this was only a case conference, both parties had agreed in advance to allow the judge to make temporary orders. So here's what happened:

    Mom was asking for sole custody, the home, 80% of child care costs, and $1200 a month in spousal support. None of the percentages or SS request were substantiated by income levels…rather, they’re numbers pulled out of the air.

    The Orders:

    1. The judge made a temporary order for joint custody. The judge said that Dad is an outstanding parent and while Mom and Dad have differences, it is in the best interest of the child that Dad has a say in important decisions.

    2. The judge made a temporary order for access arrangements which means that Dad’s current access arrangements are now protected.

    3. Mom was awarded primary residency for the child (this was never in dispute)

    4. The judge made an order allowing the divorce to be severed from the corollary issues.

    5. The judge ordered them into mediation to resolve the remaining issues. Mom had originally refused mediation but was pressured to accept it.

    Although these are temporary orders (minus the severance of the Divorce), it was explained that it is extremely difficult to change these orders once they get to the next step in making them official. Therefore, the prospect of losing custody is no longer a concern!!

    Opinions:

    The judge said right off the bat that her decisions would be based on the best interests and welfare of the child. As a result, she said that:

    - Mom has the ability and responsibility to become self-supporting (she made 60k+ up to when the child was born). She is currently working in her field (has since the child was 2) but is underpaid and underemployed. The child is in full time care during the week (school/daycare). As a result, the judge took Mom’s current hourly wage and imputed her hours from 20hrs to 35hrs per week.

    - Spousal support is based on guidelines ranging from a low to high amount. The judge would order a low amount based on Mom’s ability to earn a living and Dad’s ability to pay.


    - The judge made it clear to Mom that while she has needs, it’s important that Dad is able to earn a modest income allowing him to stay out of debt and own a home. So while Mom was asking for $1200 a month, the courts would settle for $150-$200. As harsh as this may seem keep in mind that Mom will be receiving child support and Dad would have to pay 60% of daycare costs and any other special child expenses.

    - Spousal support will either decrease or be terminated once the child is 12.

    - The Judge told Mom that she needs to be realistic about the home. If she can't afford it then it must be sold. Mom has until April/May to obtain a mortgage otherwise the courts will order the house sold. Obviously Dad would like for the child to remain in the home but only if Mom earns enough money to afford it.

    Next steps:

    Settlement Conference is set. Between now and then, Mom and Dad will be in mediation with a court appointed mediator.


    So…this is excellent news in our case and hopefully, inspirational to other Dad’s, Step mom’s and Mom’s that may be in the same situation.

  • #2
    I was wondering how your court appearance panned out.
    You certainly got a lot accomplished.
    This was really a fair outcome for both parties.
    You must be a REALLY good 'document filler outter' !

    Comment


    • #3
      God, I hope I get a judge like this when I go for MY next court appearance!

      Comment


      • #4
        Thanks...and apprently I'm not THAT great a 'document filler outter'!

        Acutally, we got some goofy advice from a lawyer that we consulted with (to get the SSAG amounts based on her income).

        He told us not to apply for a divorce in the Answer as then we would have to sever the corollary issues. At the time we didn't know better.

        Sooo...when were were granted the severance at the Case Conference, we later found out that we would have to amend the original Answer to include divorce as one of the issues.

        Wouldn't be so difficult, but we need her consent to do it. She's being a little difficult after getting blasted in court and may not sign.

        So, that just means a Motion to Amend, and she has no legal basis to deny. I understand courts will allow amendments as long as they fit a wide open criteria. We fit.

        Anyway, anyone know if we can get costs when the judge will no doubt allow for our amendment?

        Comment


        • #5
          Right on!
          This broken down crappy system worked for you!
          Well done.

          Comment

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