Help! My ex got a desk divorce, doesn't pay child support, I appealed - will it be OK

[Jane007]

My husband sent papers to me in the States where our house was destroyed so the kids and I were homeless. I never got the papers. He sent them to my email but my kids had taken over the email and closed it. I had a new one. So I never saw the papers until it was too late to reply.
He tried first to get just 'a divorce'. But we have kids. Then he changed lawyer, and she got him to apply for 'a divorce' and 'child support'. I contacted his lawyer and asked for mediation, as it was too late to answer the papers. She said mediation would take place. But... then she didn't arrange it. I asked twice when mediation could begin. I didn't know anything was happening - then I found out that the divorce had been approved by a judge without me even knowing there was a hearing.
So he sneaked through a divorce. The child support order was necessary - without that, no judge would approve it. But he faked his documents about paying child support. He wasn't paying any. But he showed bank statements to the court saying he was. He didn't provide proof of income; no tax returns, nothing.
I still can't believe the judge approved it.
I live in America and the child support is much lower in Canada than it would be here. By $1500 lower. (This man earns a lot of money). He hasn't paid child support even since he got the divorce.
He wants nothing to do with his kids. Didn't ask for custody, nor visitation. Nothing about that in the divorce.
Also nothing about spousal support or our house (which got destroyed, strangely, just before he started the divorce). Nothing about pension.
He won't communicate, won't see the kids...

I have appealed. I want to get the child support modified and back dated 3 years to the date of separation - he left 3 years ago and left us in the States with no money... I want to address all the other issues properly.

Trouble is, I need to do this in the States. I've got no money.

Will they approve this appeal so I can get it all moved to the States, and have a chance to divorce properly, to address all the issues, to be included in it?

how can this ex parte divorce be in the interests of the kids?

We were married for 20 years....it's so crazy. The kids are so very hurt by him leaving...of course, it was for another woman. But that doesn't matter now...I don't know how to support the kids - I had not worked for 20 years...

What will happen in the appeal? Do I have any hope at all?

[Jane007]

Help! Divorced in secret! Kids involved - left with nothing in the states

<hr style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" size="1"> <!-- / icon and title --> <!-- message --> My husband sent papers to me in the States where our house was destroyed so the kids and I were homeless. I never got the papers. He sent them to my email but my kids had taken over the email and closed it. I had a new one. So I never saw the papers until it was too late to reply.
He tried first to get just 'a divorce'. But we have kids. Then he changed lawyer, and she got him to apply for 'a divorce' and 'child support'. I contacted his lawyer and asked for mediation, as it was too late to answer the papers. She said mediation would take place. But... then she didn't arrange it. I asked twice when mediation could begin. I didn't know anything was happening - then I found out that the divorce had been approved by a judge without me even knowing there was a hearing.
So he sneaked through a divorce. The child support order was necessary - without that, no judge would approve it. But he faked his documents about paying child support. He wasn't paying any. But he showed bank statements to the court saying he was. He didn't provide proof of income; no tax returns, nothing.
I still can't believe the judge approved it.
I live in America and the child support is much lower in Canada than it would be here. By $1500 lower. (This man earns a lot of money). He hasn't paid child support even since he got the divorce.
He wants nothing to do with his kids. Didn't ask for custody, nor visitation. Nothing about that in the divorce.
Also nothing about spousal support or our house (which got destroyed, strangely, just before he started the divorce). Nothing about pension.
He won't communicate, won't see the kids...

I have appealed. I want to get the child support modified and back dated 3 years to the date of separation - he left 3 years ago and left us in the States with no money... I want to address all the other issues properly.

Trouble is, I need to do this in the States. I've got no money.

Will they approve this appeal so I can get it all moved to the States, and have a chance to divorce properly, to address all the issues, to be included in it?

how can this ex parte divorce be in the interests of the kids?

We were married for 20 years....it's so crazy. The kids are so very hurt by him leaving...of course, it was for another woman. But that doesn't matter now...I don't know how to support the kids - I had not worked for 20 years...

What will happen in the appeal? Do I have any hope at all?

[yearsgone]

Sorry you haven't gotten an answer yet. I don't know if Canada / USA have an agreement to work together on these things or not. Hopefully someone more knowledgeable will be along shortly.

[farmgirl5]

I don'tknow how it works in the states, but here custody related issues are taken to the courthouse where the children normally reside. If the matter pertains to only support it can be taken to a courthouse in either parties area. Start asking at the courthouse, there may be someone there who can help you find answers.

[FL_Needs_To_Change]

The general rule of thumb is that the law of the place of residence of the children takes precedence.
I would apply to have the case moved to your location, then submit a motion to vary both the child support and Spousal support and all other issues formerly settled in a Canadian court.
I would provide details on why you are requesting this.
IE seek that he did not provide a full and frank financial statement with which to base the support order.
Nor did he provide proof to support his financial claim, IE tax returns, T4’s etc.
Include a request to nullify the given that the children do not reside in Canada, and that the laws of your state should prevail. This alone should be enough for a judge in your state to review the case and void the existing order.

I am not familiar with state laws, and understand each state varies.

Best of luck

[Jane007]

Divorce - Impossible without suitable arrangements for the kids?

Thank you for the replies!
I am not sure that it can be voided in my home state...
If an order is registered, under the new UIFSA rules, as an out of state order where I and the children live, then I think it can only be modified, not voided?
But I need it voided I think as it is not possible to modify it well where I am...

It's so complicated...

Will my appeal be successful in Canada? Because I wasn't served, and my husband lied, very much, about his address, didn't provide income...?
Would it be better if the appeal succeeded and then I filed in my home state?

I'm not getting a penny of child support from him, he's trying to avoid supporting the kids and doesn't want anything to do with them.

I still don't know what to do.
This Canadian law seems so unfair, to pass a divorce ex parte, when there are kids involved.
The family law rules say that a divorce should not be passed 'unless there are suitable arrangements for the kids'...so I just don't know how it got past a judge.

What can I do though? What are my chances with the appeal?...And it is such a long way to Canada...

[FL_Needs_To_Change]

What can I do though? What are my chances with the appeal?...And it is such a long way to Canada...

I would go to a court house close to you.
In Canada the court house has many helpful services to guide a person through a process.
Sometimes you can get duty council to help as well or a 1 hour free consult from a lawyer to determine your legal path.

You have to start a motion to vary the existing order, preferably within the state that you reside as this just makes sense to me.
I would ask the court house how to transfer a case from Canada to the US and tell them the ex initiated the case in Canada, but you live in the US, and they should be able to tell you how to proceed.

Once the case is transferred, seek to have the issues varied.
Request that the courts order him to disclose his last 3 years of income tax returns with notice of assessments PLUS any reassessments, coupled with T4's, and all other supporting documentation to validate the tax claims.

I am not sure how you go about showing that you have not been paid CS when he claims he has paid.
I would seek to have him produce the original bank statements rather then photo copies.
Because in this day and age, a person with minimal computer literacy and a good scanner with supporting software can copy and paste pieces of info into a statement then photo copy it & it would look legitimate. So originals would be necessary to make sure he had not "doctored" them to show he made CS payments.

Then of course any other issues can be addressed etc.