Offer to settle

[Grenouille]

Hello Everyone,

I am going through custody/access and equalization payment procedure through the Ontario court system. We had a case conference where OCL was ordered for our children ages 13 and 17. They have been residing with their father for a year but our 13 year old daughter wants to live with me and her father refuses, so judge ordered OCL to represent. Equalization of family property will be determined in the near future. Father makes over 100K and I make 35K, and he says he won't pay me a dime, and during case conference he practically told judge she didn't know what she was talking about because she told me I should be applying for spousal support. I don't care about the money, just the effect this is having on my children.

I have made an offer as follows: Daughter to reside with me, Son with father. No child support to be given by either and no equalization payment to be paid. Access will be as often as each of us want to see children, with reasonable notice.

If the offer is refused, how is this looked upon by the judge?

[dadtotheend]

Not knowing anything about whatver equalization payment ought to be made, you are leaving quite a bit of money on the table by not seeking child and spousal support.

The OCL will likely consider your daughter's views, but there are lots of determinants to custody and there's not enough facts given to give a guess as to what might happen.

Your offer on the face of it does sound very reasonable financially, but the OCL won't care about the money if they accept the case and their custody recommendations will carry considerable weight with the judge. So I'm not sure that your relenting on the financial matters will cause you to regarded more favourably on the custody/access issue.

[Grenouille]

Hi Dadtotheend,
Equalization payment would be approx 50K, but he has stated that he will declare bankruptcy and quit his job just to make sure I don't get anything...He has done it to his first wife.
Daughter wants to move because there's no supervision for her in the evening. She wants a routine and healthy food, as she doesn't like the 50 lbs she's gained because of the take-out meals being served at home.

As for the money, I have no need for it. My boyfriend and I make enough to live well and one more person in our household will not make much difference. The only reason I would take the money would be to invest in the children's education.

[dadtotheend]

Well, unless you can get Dad to agree (not likely it sounds), you are going to have hope the OCL takes the case and then you have an uphill battle changing that status quo. As said above, the OCL and a judge will consider your daughter's views so that is in your favour.

By the way, your having waited this long weakens your claim for spousal support. I realize you say that you don't need it, but you may want to use it as a bargaining chip given Dad's less than good faith (quit job/bankruptcy?!) position.