Conned by a deadbeat

[rippedoff]

I'm new to divorce and scared to death. I am 58 years old with a decent job and have been married 11 years to a guy (56) who has not worked at more than a couple of part time jobs since 2 months into the marriage. He does love to work outside on the lawn, but other than that, the house is falling apart and badly in need of repairs. The marriage has been extremely rocky for most of the time, but because he had no job, it was not a possibility to leave. I have had to remortgage twice to cover escalating debts and am currently at the end of the rope financially. There are no children involved.

He drinks excessively, but is fit and capable of working.
He has gone to a legal aid lawyer and has informed me that I will be served and forced into an immediate liquidation of assets. Unbelievable to me that I will lose my house for which he has not contributed one dime, and if there is any equity left in the current market, the lawyers will probably get it anyway. I'm also to understand that I will be forced to pay spousal support, that the fact that I've supported this deadbeat for 11 years is working against me! He tells me I will have to pay for his lawyer ($270/hr) as well as my own. I'm afraid of being blindsided and would appreciate any insight. I have an appointment with a lawyer only for later this week.

[About_Time]

Don't sign or agree to anything until you've spoken to your lawyer. That's the most important thing.

As for the assets and spousal, yep - you'll likely get screwed there. Family Law is such that the less your spouse contributes during the marriage, the more they seem to be able to get when it's over. That being said, not having children helps the situation quite a bit.

Go over everything with your lawyer and DO NOT BE INTIMIDATED. He's likely not going to get his lawyer's costs - it's a bluff to make you scared and willing to settle quickly.

Do not leave the house under any circumstance and make copies of every bit of paperwork you can get your hands on.

[dadtotheend]

From what you have written he would be entitled to half the equity in the home, notwithstanding that he didn't contribute financially.

He would also very likely have a claim for medium to long term spousal support, which is more scary.

[standing on the sidelines]

the judge will probably see that you put up with his employment situation for that long without doing anything about it. Yes that works against you.