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In need of Guidance & HELP?!!!!

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  • In need of Guidance & HELP?!!!!

    I'm new at this so I don't know where to start so here I go, My girlfriend and I have a beautiful 4 month old Son and before he was born we had agreed to for me to move in with her and her parents, anyhow just 2 weeks ago today her mom kicked me out for god know why??? Any ways when he was first born I did everything form apply for his S.I.N. to birth certificate and all that also I changed our status from single to "Common Law" cause from what I read it said if you were living together or had a child together you common law, so that's what I did but know that her mom kicked me out I'm afraid she's gonna change the status, can she do that? Do I not have any rights?? PLEASE HELP ME?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE HELP?!!!!

  • #2
    Change the status of Common Law, or the fstatus of being the father of your son??


    • #3
      What do you mean change my status of Common Law?? What will that do?

      Also changing the status of father of my Son what will that do?


      • #4
        I think what soon2 is asking is what status do you think she is going to try to change? It's difficult to offer any advice when the questions are unclear.


        • #5

          Are you concerned that your rights as a father to your son might be taken away? If yes, then your concerns are very valid. As a non-residential parent your rights are very limited.

          Your son is very young. At this age, he may quickly lose that parent-child bond that is very essential for a healthy upbringing of the child. Right now, he probably does not even know that you are no longer there so you need to act fast.

          I would get the help of family and friends to resolve the issues and get some kind of access/visitations going.

          Mediation will be another way to go but that can only work if both parties are agreeable to go through this process.

          If none of the above works, you need to get in touch with a lawyer. Evaluate your options. If you don't have money to get a lawyer, you may qualify for legal aid. In any case, you can always get the advice of a duty counsel at the court house. If you only want access to your son, you can simply go to the court and file an application on your own.

          We can be of better help if you post some more details about your situation and the kind of information you are looking for from this forum.


          • #6
            Originally posted by I3runo_D View Post
            I'm afraid she's gonna change the status, can she do that? Do I not have any rights?? PLEASE HELP ME?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE HELP?!!!!

            Let's try this again.....what status are you talking about??


            • #7
              I think I3runo_D is simply confused and afraid of what may come to be... and being in such a state, he isn't sure what he is asking for. Singledad99 has some great advice.

              My question is simple... seeing as it's your girlfriend's mom that kicked you out, what does your girlfriend think of this? Did she try to defend you in any way? Does she agree with you no longer living with her and her family?

              There really isn't much that we can offer in terms of advice, if we don't know the situation.

              If you and your girlfriend are through, and no longer plan on sharing your life together, then I suggest you "file for divorce" and get a custody and access order in place. You can do so through a lawyer, or on your own by filling out the necessary forms.

              You can find a lot of great information here: Ministry of the Attorney General - Family Law


              • #8
                My apologies, the status that "we" have right now as far as I know is Common-Law if she has changed it I am unaware of the change, anyways I'm afraid she is going to change the status to signal mother? I mean I'm not the one that left she kicked me out? and its not like I don't want anything to do with my Son or my girlfriend, just the situation I am in I am forced to only see him on weekends and it kills me every time, I mean I am looking for a place near him and my work, just I don't make very much so I have to apply for Ontario Works, but the moment I can get a place near there at least I'll be able to see every night, I mean I'm losing my mind over this and I think my girlfriends Mom really doesn't care?????


                • #9
                  From what she tells me she agrees & disagrees with the situation but I think the only reason why she agree's with it is because her mom told her that after 3 months of me not living there she can change the status to single and get even more money on her baby bonus, I think this is the reason of her (my girlfriends Mom) of kicking me, and yet I don't understand why she would think I wouldn't take care of my son or my girlfriend???


                  • #10
                    Dude, if I were you, I'd get away from that situation... the girlfriend and her mother. It doesn't seem to me - from what you write - that this girl cares the least bit about you. You'd think if you two were in a good relationship together, and wanted to make things work, she'd WANT to be living with you, as a family.

                    As for how much money she'd get, common-law or single... it doesn't matter! Why is she even THINKING of how much money she could get out of you, unless she doesn't want you to be a part of HER life, and simply expects you to pay child support - which is what it sounds like to me.

                    Like I said, I'd get away from that situation. It's unhealthy for you, and for the baby. A child should not be raised in such a tense situation.

                    If I were in your shoes (and male)... I'd do the following:
                    1. Verify paternity of the child (even if you're 100% sure it's yours).
                    2. Find a place to live that you can AFFORD (even stay with your parents for a while) and close to your work.
                    3. Confirm your marital status - common law or single?
                    4. File for custody/access ASAP, and file a child support order based on your 2007 tax assessment (line 150) amount and begin paying.
                    5. Try to arrange a fair visitation schedule. The norm is one midweek visit, and every-other-weekend Friday-Sunday. However, with how young your little guy is, I'd suggest one midweek visit of a couple of hours, and one weekend day-visit, 12pm-6pm, until he's a little bit older when you could begin taking him overnight (Friday-Saturday or Saturday-Sunday) each weekend.

                    Either way, start protecting your rights. It seems that this "girlfriend" is simply thinking about the money she could get out of you. You be the parent, and think of your son.

                    (My fiance was in a similar situation as yours - one night stand gone awry, then having to learn how to protect his rights and be a parent from the moment his son was born and it was clear that he was the father. So if you have any other questions, etc., feel free to message me.)


                    • #11
                      it's not so much money out of me its money out from the government, the Ontario Benifit.


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by I3runo_D View Post
                        it's not so much money out of me its money out from the government, the Ontario Benifit.
                        That's just wrong! I wouldn't want to stay with someone who cared only about how much money she could get and disregard allowing her child to have a normal family life. If this is how she's thinking NOW... I would be very scared for how she may think in the future. Beware, my friend. Beware.


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