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What can I expect here????

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  • What can I expect here????

    I was married to a girl that had a child from a other realonship. We were married for 5 yrs and together for 7. The child was 7 when we meet and is now 15.

    She never recieved support from the father ever!!! and today I get papers to go to court asking for CS from me??????

    Im not sure what to expect from this doesn't she have to mention Him and why is she only going after me??????


  • #2
    When a person enters a relationship with children, and they take the place of the missing parent, then yes CS can be requested. It's called "Loco Parentis".
    She would have to show that you acted as a parent in all senses of the word.
    IE taking the child to medical/dental appointments, signing permission forms, attending school meetings, discipline, etc.

    I would ask that the particulars of the Bio-parent be entered into account to determine if he "is" capable of paying support. Maybe she just walked away from the relationship and never asked him for anything, maybe he disappeared and she was unable to seek support? You'd have to get your hands on some info. The reason being is; if the courts deem that you had acted in place of a parent they could order full CS relative to your income and the CS tables. If the BIO is found to be able to contribute, then the total table amount for a single child less his share would be your CS responsibility. I know it doesn't seem fair that he gets off and you foot the bill. But that's the way family law works/. There is no law that states that 6the parent MUST seek support for the Bio parent, but you can request that his employment and financial records be ordered so that it can be determined what he is responsible for. If you're lucky he gets the order for CS and you don't.

    I'd be very curious to know why she never sought support from him?
    Maybe there is a way you can use her reason for not seeking support from the BIO to benefit your case???

    Here's a couple of links to significant cases that will explain the "Loco Parentis"

    Here is a link where the bio did not pay support until the mother sought support from the step father. Step father was order to pay support, but so too was the bio father.

    Worth reading to educate yourself on how the courts tend to rule.


    • #3
      Thank You for that info and I'm wondering if I need to have a lawyer for my first court date, Can I do this on my own or should I get one. I live in Hamilton and is there a way of finding a good lawyer that can help me?



      • #4
        I think that you need to ask yourself a few questions.
        Are you confident that you did NOT act as a parent to the child?
        Who was responsible for the discipline?
        And are you confident that you can convey your position to argue that you were not in place of a parent, and that the bio dad should be held responsible (or at the very least, partially responsible) for the child. You'd have to request his financial statement or acquire it some way from him to have at your first appearance so that the courts can make a ruling on his financial obligation.

        Other wise I see your fist appearance as a preliminary one where you'd want to get an order to get his financial statement PLUS his last three years of Tax Assessments and supporting T-4's etc.
        If the appearance is to get an order for his documents, the court may order interim CS until all documentation is received to substantiate your claim that he is responsible for the child. You may be quite able to self rep. Maybe just getting some legal advise on how to proceed and what your chances are would be all you need. We got a legal advise letter from a lawyer once, it cost us I think $200. We provided all the background, and any recent orders, and supporting documents and the lawyer provided a legal "Opinion Letter". It included how to proceed, and what forms to file and in what order etc.


        • #5
          What I dont understand is why do I have to get his Info !! why didn't she ask him for it.

          Yes I was the father figure when she was younger but he came back into the picture when she was 12 and has some sort of contact with him. The reason for us seperating was the child didn't like are rules of the home and when she was 14 she packed up her stuff and left us a letter stating that she hated me and was never going to live here again, if I was in this house!!

          I want to help out but Cant understand how a judge would make me only pay when I didn't even make this child. The Father has a job rents a condo In T.O I'm sure he has $$$ and how do I get him to show me his T4 and other income statments?

          Sorry for asking many Questions but I dont know where to begin



          • #6
            If you read the links to the case files it explains the thought process behind why a court would order a non-bio parent to pay CS.
            It has to do with the best interests of the child.

            IE if you were the only father figure then the courts hold you accountable as if you were the bio. The reasoning being, the child was financially supported by you, and provided for and raised in every sense of the word by you as a parent, and the courts feel that it would be a detriment to the child to suddenly not benefit from what you had provided for so long.

            I do not agree with it either, but that's not for me to decide.
            If the bio is in her life and she left the home to be with him, every short term until you left the home/relationship), then you have a strong case for NO CS. I would use the letter to show the child has unilaterally severed your relationship and wants nothing to do with you. This will go a long way to get a court to agree that you are not responsible.

            I will find you some cases where the child severed the relationship, and no support was ordered.

            As for his financial info, I’d get an order for him to produce them. That’s the only way you’ll get them it appears. The man is obviously able, I just don’t understand why the mom is after you when the bio is around and in the child’s life. And earning a good living to boot! Go after a court order to get his financial report and T4’s if the mom seeks support. Maybe just telling her that you have case files of children unilaterally severing a relationship that were not liable for CS, and that seeing as the child is in contact etc with the BIO it would be easy for you to show a court that you are not financially liable, that he is and that you’d easily get an order for his income tax returns and T4’s to support your case.


            • #7

              This case refers to another, Farden V. Farden, and it states,

              Although it is sufficient that she be in the custodial parent's charge, I am of the view that where, as here, a mature child unilaterally terminates a relationship with one of the parents without any apparent reason, that is a factor to be considered by the trial judge in determining whether it would be 'fit and just' to provide maintenance for that child. A father-child relationship is more than a simple economic dependency. The father is burdened with heavy financial responsibilities and the child has very few duties in return. It seems reasonable to demand that a child who expects to receive support entertain some type of relationship with his or her father in the absence of any conduct by the father which might justify the child's neglect of his or her filial duties.


              In this case, the child has for some time effectively severed her relationship with him, a factor to be considered as part of the circumstances relating to the child's continuing status as a child of the marriage.

              The judge ruled that the reason for the sever was the fault of the parent, and support ordered.

              So if you can show that the child severed with no reasonable, (key word) fault of yours, you could win a case to not pay support.
              This doesn't seem fair, but unfortunately this is the boat you are in, alot of us have been there. Keep asking questions and posting, there is alot of experience and help here.

              Good Luck


              • #8

                If you think you are in a bad situation get this one.
                Man marries a woman with a child from previous relationship, they are together 3.5yrs, divorce, and she goes back and marries father of her child.
                She applies for support, and first judge orders zero payable. She appeals and the second judge rules that the first judge made a mistake and orders maintenance.

                held that once someone “has made at least a permanent or indefinite unconditional commitment to stand in the place of a parent”[7] the jurisdiction of the courts to grant relief under the Divorce Act is triggered and is not lost by the parent withdrawing from the relationship. The rationale underlying Theriault is what is in the best interest of the child.

                The judge added,

                aim to ensure that a divorce will affect the children as little as possible. Spouses are entitled to divorce each other, but not the children who were part of the marriage. The interpretation that will best serve children is one that recognizes that when people act as parents toward them, the children can count on that relationship continuing and that these persons will continue to act as parents toward them.

                So not only is the mother now re-married to the bio-father, she is also receiving support for the child they created together from a man she knew for less then 4 years, talk about a twisted law!


                • #9
                  Actually the law does make sense if we were in 17th century.

                  What happens if she gets an interim CS order? Doesn't that become a new status-quo which in other words creates a solid prejudice against him when and if the case goes to trial?


                  • #10
                    WOW Guys Thks so much for this, Im going to be hanging out on my days off at the local court house and get myself educated W this whole area.

                    So how do I get a court order towards the Bio dad, do I go where My EX went to get my Papers?? All I know is he Name non address nothing not even DOB


                    Thank U again


                    • #11

                      check out this website They also have weekly meetings in Hamilton (I believe on Tuesdays) and online meetings on Sunday nights.

                      I tried to save few hundred bucks before by doing stuff without lawyers for which I will regret for rest of my life. Get a lawyer and do it right away. Your case is not that complicated. You might get some lawyer who will charge you fixed amount of fee for the whole case - you just have to shop around.


                      • #12
                        What would happenif I quit my job and worked for Min Wage YES Im thinking dirty here but come on this is just not right!!!!


                        • #13
                          If I where to quit my job and find one that pays me MIN wage would this help me lol Just cant C me paying 600 a month Please try and UNDERSTAND



                          • #14
                            If you intentionally take on a position that is below your means and if she can show that you have the ability to earn more it is possible for her to get the courts to input an income on you. IE they would use your last three years income coupled with your educational abilities and determine what you are capable of earning and then set CS accordingly.

                            Like I said FL is NOT fair to the male in a separation.
                            My opinion is that the laws are hugely swayed for the female advantage.


                            • #15
                              Ok dumb Question, but if have proof in emails & other stuff ... that the child wanted to end our marrige , will the judge look at that ? And Yes I cant afford to quit my job but when U r in this sitution you start to think of how to become evil...... or think of evil thoughts

                              The child left the home due to her reasons and if I can prove that was why we seperated I hope the courts can look at me not as a evil step parent and understand the issues of the home



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