Schools.

[Islandmom]

4 children. 2 go to one school. 2 go to two other schools.
In short - 4 kids 3 schools. All schools are 30-60 minutes apart.

Original plan was to move to where the oldest child goes to school. The 2nd eldest goes to a school that is no longer appropriate(and we had agreed on that).
The two younger ones could be moved(we moved our eldest at a similar age once and it was a non issue).

Ex moved out and has the kids every second weekend(been like this for well over a year).

Suddenly my ex is saying he won’t permit the school move and has gone and bought a house. We don’t yet have a separation agreement. But the kids are with me and this is going to have me in the car for 4-6 hours a day.

[Janus]

You could always try to change custody to a 50/50 arrangement and reduce the amount of driving you will have to do. Assuming he lives close to one of the schools it might be fairly easy for him to pull off.

That said, you are the primary parent, so you'll probably win if you bring it to trial. I would avoid self-help measures. File an appropriate motion to change the schooling, and suck up the driving in the meanwhile.

[Islandmom]

What do you mean by self help measures?

[Stillbreathing]

Self help measures are actions you take without a court giving you permission in order to help yourself and without your ex’s permission. In your example above that would mean you change schools despite your ex’s objection and without having first gone to court to get permission to do so.

[rockscan]

Have you spoken to a lawyer? Started moving on an agreement? Because that should be your focus. It sounds like your husband has gotten legal advice and is setting himself up.

You also need to understand what happened before may not be what happens now. Just because you agreed on something while married does not mean it will be agreed to now and you can’t make unilateral decisions just because he isn’t seeing the kids. Or at the very least, get a judge to agree to make the move.

[Islandmom]

I have a lawyer. We are two weeks from mediation. I don’t do anything or make any decisions without including my ex in them and talking to my lawyer.

4-6 hours in the car daily will be what I do! Podcast queen.

[rockscan]

Why are your kids going to so many schools so far away and if you were planning to move, why are you not planning to move closer?

Rather than playing the martyr, why not look at alternatives for their schools? If your ex is living in close proximity to the schools he can assist with increased parenting time. Or you could move closer and not worry about this.

It feels like a problem with an easy solution without you needing to play the victim. If he’s planning to move closer and take on more responsibility thats a good thing!

[Islandmom]

It happened because we were planning to make a major move and it was happening in pieces and then divorce happened.

Eldest child is not moveable - is at a phenomenal school and is doing very well. Child has had some medical issues and moving would be disruptive. Ex agrees that moving eldest not in child’s best interest.
Second eldest is at a school that is no longer appropriate. We previously moved eldest child from this school and agreed to do one more year.

#3 and 4 are both moveable. They are little and both health and adaptable.

Ex is high earning and busy. Cannot do the driving of 4 children to and from schools and sports etc.

That is the whole issue rockscan - I was planning to move the children to schools all within 5 minutes of each other and that has been blocked. It could easily be changed to where it was easier.

[rockscan]

So where is his house then? Closer to the schools?

If a move was planned and you have primary status, file a motion to be able to move. A judge will more than likely fall in your favour.

[Islandmom]

Currently my home(which is being sold) is 10 minutes from little ones school, 30 minutes from #2 school and 60 minutes from eldest school.

My plan was to buy home 5 minutes from eldest child school and enroll other 3 children in schools all within 5 minutes of one another. That area has amazing bike and walking paths and the kids can all get around very easily not to mention the eldest can easily walk 2 littles home or to the rec centre for swimming or skating etc

The home he has just bought is 30 minutes from the 2 littles school and a 35 minute walk for the 2nd child to walk to school(this is the school we wanted to move him from) and then 75 minutes to the eldest school.

[Tayken]

If I read your other thread correctly the other parent's income is 700,000 per annum.

Special expenses to transport the special needs child too and from school I say. Setup a special needs transport service and have them pay for it. I mean, you can solve this problem with that kind of money quiet easily without moving schools.