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Court ordered access not being adhered to

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  • Donald Duck
    replied
    Originally posted by terryfyde View Post
    So are you going to leverage this to get more access time?
    I should not have to leverage it, the child has a right to be with for more time.

    My biggest concern is child safety when he is not with his mom.

    That being said thank God school starts soon.

    Leave a comment:


  • terryfyde
    replied
    So are you going to leverage this to get more access time?

    Leave a comment:


  • Donald Duck
    replied
    Originally posted by StillPaying View Post
    That email does not help your case. You're not available when offered and don't appreciate ex using other options. Is ex claiming you're controlling?
    That email did help my case.

    I very much appreciate the childs' mom using other options that are safe.

    I do not appreciate any options that are unsafe and require me to call the CAS and the Police.

    Yes, her lawyer has used the templated " control" card yet I do not accept that a parent who is rightfully concerned about the childs' safety is controlling.

    Leave a comment:


  • Donald Duck
    replied
    Originally posted by StillPaying View Post
    You say you want more access, even 50/50, but when offered an extra overnight - you prefer to drop kid off 6 hours early the night before. Perhaps your schedule now is ideal.
    I have been in court for 5 1/2 years and the child is not even 6 years old.

    I have been fighting for a comprehensive court order and what I want is for the court order to be adhered to by both parents.

    The offer for an extra night is offered when the childs' mom knows full well that I cannot accept it as I have work the next morning at 6 am and she would pick up our child at 10 am.

    She knows very well that I had to accept her offer of 6 hours early for this reason.

    Rockscans' brilliant idea to email the childs' mom worked very well.

    Perhaps you misunderstood the scope of the attempt to control me and refusal to follow the courts order.

    Leave a comment:


  • rockscan
    replied
    Originally posted by Donald Duck View Post
    Hey Rockscan!

    So called her bluff re her desired change of times this weeke d and for one of the first times for the 430 pm pickup she was in the lobby at 427 and the exchange was quick and user friendly!

    Thank you again!

    Awesome. Sometimes you just need to push back!!

    Leave a comment:


  • Donald Duck
    replied
    [QUOTE=Brampton33;251664]Right of First Refusal does not work in high conflict cases. The other parent does not want you to spend additional time with kids. They won't even tell you about the opportunity, and simply get a family member to look after the kids. You will find out after-the-fact that kids were home sick from school and had their aunt look after them for the day. If you are in court, it is likely that ROFR is not an option.[/QUOTE

    Funny but thats exactly what happened last weekend for all three days.

    Thing is though that we already have it in the court order from the recent motion that I won so its there regardless.

    My concern is and has been since birth is that he is left with many many people and there have been lots of issues with where he has been left so when he is with his Aunt, I have no issues and I also have in the court order daily phone calls.

    She agreed on consent with a dozen orders and the calls and ROFR were a few.

    Leave a comment:


  • Donald Duck
    replied
    Originally posted by rockscan View Post
    She�s playing a game with you so you are basically calling her bluff. Which is why I said to word it that way. Telling her that it is court ordered and you are adhering to it so she can pick kid up at proper time or you can drop them off. By pointing out YOU are following the order, it makes you look better.

    In your court documents for the TMC you will note that she has failed to follow the order for parenting time on x dates or 90-100% of the parenting time. She has no valid reason for doing so and it makes her look bad for playing that game.

    Contempt is like this shiny object you hear about but never see. You would waste too much energy trying to get it when there is no chance. You could try but why waste resources? Just call her bluff and go from there. She isn�t going to lock the child out or not pick them up. She is simply pushing you to do something she wants you to do.
    Hey Rockscan!

    So called her bluff re her desired change of times this weeke d and for one of the first times for the 430 pm pickup she was in the lobby at 427 and the exchange was quick and user friendly!

    Thank you again!

    Leave a comment:


  • Donald Duck
    replied
    Thank you very much.

    Leave a comment:


  • Tayken
    replied
    Don't bother with Right of First Refusal.

    Read this article from a Canadian Social Worker: http://www.yoursocialworker.com/s-ar...st_Refusal.htm

    This idea provided about RoFR falls right into the common behaviour pattern that Gary outlines in the article.

    Leave a comment:


  • StillPaying
    replied
    That email does not help your case. You're not available when offered and don't appreciate ex using other options. Is ex claiming you're controlling?

    Leave a comment:


  • Donald Duck
    replied
    Thank you very much Rockscan!

    Very appreciated and done.

    Leave a comment:


  • rockscan
    replied
    You could send her an email (not her counsel) and say Dear ex, I note that you were away this weekend and child was with xyz. In our final order item abc clearly states I have right of first refusal for time with our child and I was available this weekend to spend with him/her. We both worked hard to reach an agreement in the best interest of our kid(s) and I kindly request that it be followed going forward. Thank you DD.

    Unless the kid(s) was/were with their family. It could have been a family thing. I have been known to spend time with my nieces and nephews as a weekend with aunty.

    Leave a comment:


  • Donald Duck
    replied
    Originally posted by rockscan View Post
    It is really sad that parents play these bullshit games. Especially when it all goes back to one person�s vindictive pettiness over what they feel.
    Hey Rockscan,

    So in our court order I have the right of first refusal if she is not going to be with the child overnight.

    The ink on our court order is not even dry yet and this past weekend the child was not with her the entire weekend.

    Do I do the same thing and politely remind her and also email her counsel and obviously log everything?

    Any chance you could help me with the wording pretty please?

    Thank you and or anyone

    Leave a comment:


  • StillPaying
    replied
    You say you want more access, even 50/50, but when offered an extra overnight - you prefer to drop kid off 6 hours early the night before. Perhaps your schedule now is ideal.

    Leave a comment:


  • Donald Duck
    replied
    Originally posted by respondent View Post
    I had same thing - court ordered access. My ex gave me kids once or twice, and then stopped bringing them at location and time defined by court order. It has been documented via countless emails to her lawyer. I did mention it in brief for SC, and she wrote in her brief she was giving me access. Judge ignored it altogether, despite I didn't see kids for many months and had a proof in writting. Bringing motion at that time didn't make sense, as there was SC approaching and motion date would've be way after, and right before the SC she suddenly resumed my visitation, so to be in compliance with court order.

    I think the only place I can use this card is on trial if we get to it, but otherwise court wasn't interesting in someone breaching the visitation order
    Yep totally agree but I am going to do what the folks here said to do and its a drip drip drip process.

    Won my motion re the child safety issues, see the beautiful child as I stated and I am relentless and will continue along this journey, because it is about the childs interest all the way.

    Same thing on the motion though re some points, Judge could have cared less and called it " he said she said" although I had proof in black and white and third party documentation re CAS.

    Leave a comment:

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