Acceptable personal service methods

[rockscan]

If the situation were reversed and it was a man the court would have no sympathy and I have little for your ex. She sounds like someone who has avoided responsibility and now that she is faced with it, she is looking for a way out (by threats not actual suicide). Personally I don’t think she will do it and if necessary you can call 911. Just keep moving forward and take care of the kids.

[undersc0re]

Passport Canada was happy with the provincial court order, I received the child’s passport and the order also states she can travel with anyone anywhere without the mother’s permission.
Just one more court date next week to deal with imputing a higher income and a fine for not providing financial information. Is there a set fine the judge usually does?

[undersc0re]

I threw in both issues on both applications in the notes just in case she would take care of it all in the first case, I assumed the enforcing of the order for not producing her financial info since 2016 would only be looked at but we talked about both applications thankfully she took care of the passport stuff as she probably knew it was somewhat urgent.
I had an unfortunate response from the ex a couple days after the court appearance, she went ballistic saying she could not afford any more payments as she is barely making it by right now and she would jump off a bridge if she was pushed any further financially…also wrote suicidal texts to my daughter during school saying goodbye, I can’t live like this any longer etc…I won’t get into it…anyhow 911 was called…they checked on her and could not share any info about her with us…no communication since.

So I was not wanting this result of course…I don’t think anyone would. Is there a way to just ask the judge to go through with everything but delay the child support change until say Jan-1-2023 so that she has time to re-arrange her lifestyle or am I just being naive or something…I have never heard her say anything about suicide before. Would a judge agree to my request or allow alternate financial arrangements in lieu…or should I just go ahead and call her bluff? My 14 yr old is stressed, I can tell…and I would feel absolutely aweful if she took her life. I also feel like I am being played….so confusing.

Any suggestions from someone that has gone through these experiences greatly appreciated.

[blinkandimgone]

Congratulations, I'm glad it went well for you!

[undersc0re]

Today the ex did not show for court, judge said she has 14 days to file financial forms, and Judge will do up a court order for me to be able to get a passport and let her travel with or without me out of country without any sort of consent from the mother….I have to wait 30 days for a reply from the other court order and then make a court date for that one(updated child support amount).

Seemed pretty smooth so far.

[undersc0re]

I am going to get these orders and issues dealt with and then after they are done with, I will start the separation agreement details that we can agree on and go to a lawyer to have him go over it and discuss it with me and then discuss the issues with the ex that have to be changed and hopefully the steps I need to take and the changes i need to make for the agreement can be set in stone and file the final divorce papers….probably a few $$$ and a year away.

One slow step at a time…..and hopefully a lenient helpful provincial family court judge…the judges there seem to be patient for helping you through the system without a lawyer….so far.

[pinkHouses]

Your best bet if you absolutely cannot get a lawyer throughout the process, is to at the very least have a lawyer review your agreement before signing to ensure it is I'm your best interest and you are protected.

I don't understand how is a court going to sign off on child support not changing. That is some legal eagle stuff there so the guy absolutely needs a lawyer at least on a limited retainer or a legal eagle.
Yes, they get their pension and that covers support but......oh, off topic.

the text said she would agree to my terms and she would sign over all her parental rights and also leave my pensions alone if the monthly child support amount does not change

[pinkHouses]

LOL
After reading this thread I am worse off than when I started.
I now have no idea what is legal (right) and what is not when it comes to serving documents in Ontario or British Columbia and I suppose this thread will never answer that. Disappointing.

[blinkandimgone]

Again, feel free to debate whatever you like in your own thread.

[StillPaying]

Opinion doesn't mean legal.

Again- what are you referring to. His opinion wasn't wrong or illegal?!

Your comment on the other hand was unnecessary and inappropriate.

[blinkandimgone]

Opinion doesn't mean legal.

OP added additional info on their situation, not sure what "power" you are referring to, but if you'd like to debate something feel free to start your own thread in an appropriate forum to do so and anyone interested in participating can play with you there.

[StillPaying]

Pretty much all of this is wrong. You probably should have read the link before posting.

Other than 6 - you are allowed to drop the documents at their feet, his opinion was correct. Not sure what you are referring to....

Then you add to get a lawyer to review OPs agreement before signing.... nothing to do with the question on proper service. Interesting use of power

[blinkandimgone]

Your best bet if you absolutely cannot get a lawyer throughout the process, is to at the very least have a lawyer review your agreement before signing to ensure it is I'm your best interest and you are protected.

[undersc0re]

I guess I should have stated this was in British Columbia, I realize this is called Ottawadivorce . com but it seems to be the best forum I could find and has so much information.
Today I received a text from the woman I am separated from that she received the documents that I had a sister and friend serve on her, the text said she would agree to my terms and she would sign over all her parental rights and also leave my pensions alone if the monthly child support amount does not change. Currently we do not have a separation agreement and only a few court orders done, separated since 2011, and she has not made an attempt to try and visit our daughter since 2018. I have tried to ask her if she wants to move it along with a separation agreement and divorce in the past but get ignored. She also never shows up in court and refuses to meet with a mediator, and basically it’s her way or the highway and is a little unstable and hard to rely on.
With a set court date(this week) about enforcing a previous order to raise child support, and non disclosure of financial info, and now this paperwork I had served to her for a court date tbd yet, that one is about a few other things including passport application and the permission to travel letter will be coming up once a month of no reply to that paper work happens.
She seems to be a little more accepting now than before to an agreement, albeit under duress of not wanting child support to go higher than based on minimum wage. Maybe she could come back at me later saying she wants her share of the pension and made that decision in a financial stressfully situation at the time. I had a lawyer at the beginning of the separation to make sure I followed proper disclosure etc so later on ai would not be in hot water, I remember him saying the law here now pretty much says she can’t really give up her right to her share of my pension….he didn’t go into details but maybe he meant cpp. I can not afford the lawyer retainer or costs right now and I also can not use a layer provide by the government because I make to much money. I am saving up for costs to pay a lawyer to eventually help protect me and my future with final separation/divorce papers and hopefully I can make it cheaper by doing most of the work myself.

I went on a rant, but papers were served, she accepted them and is in desperation mode basically.

[blinkandimgone]

BlinkandIamgone put a good link for special service. Normally things are not complicated so do the easy thing first and forget what you see in the movies.

I am only a fan of that idea if it says in bold letters "service of court documents" and the person is seen reading that.

Some tips:
1. Do not get a relative to do it; it can heighten anxeity.

2. Definitely do not get a child of the marriage to do it; it is mean.

3. You are not allowed to do it yourself, you can be present but that feels hurtful to me.

4. Have a friend to do it. Have them itemize all the documents and count all the pages of each document, Titles and dates are required.

5. Have the person serving ensure the person knows they are being served. This means that they saw the front page or were verbally told that they were served.

6. The document has to be in their possession. Dropping it at their feet, handing it to them and them throwing it back before "knowing what it is" is not a sure.

7. If the person being served is being difficult go to the court for an alternate means of service.

Pretty much all of this is wrong. You probably should have read the link before posting.