Grandparent tracking my kids devices

[rockscan]

You can’t spend your life battling everyone that comes along or taking everyone to court. Some things can be ignored. Taykens plan was quite effective and would work. Kids dont like conflict and if it is constant conflict everywhere they go, it turns them to just staying in the place where there is less conflict. If the rule at dads house is all tracking goes off and the phones switch then its a simple solution.

You dont have to attend every battle you are invited to. Spend your energy loving your kids rather than hating their grandparents. They will see the difference.

[pinkHouses]

Any advice on what KKC (and others) can do regarding grandparents who over-insert themselves in the affairs of parents? Where you are aware that grandparents are petty and bashing the other parent, yet claim that they love their grandchildren dearly? Completely oblivious that when you speak poorly about a parent, it seriously impacts the children, yet the grandparents feel invincible because its not their court matter, etc.

Thread hijacking in place.
There will be a people that will say something "you can't do anything about it, let the kids grow up and decide for themselves" and that isn't true. Maybe they couldn't do anything about it but in many cases you can.

If you create a new thread I will throw my 2 cents in.

[rockscan]

Any advice on what KKC (and others) can do regarding grandparents who over-insert themselves in the affairs of parents? Where you are aware that grandparents are petty and bashing the other parent, yet claim that they love their grandchildren dearly? Completely oblivious that when you speak poorly about a parent, it seriously impacts the children, yet the grandparents feel invincible because its not their court matter, etc.

They follow the rule of “I love my grandchildren but hate my child’s ex more”. There really isn’t much you can do other than ignore them and redirect your kids. The good news is they won’t be around forever. The bad news is some of them have a lot of influence over the kids. If you have a lot of time with your kids you can redirect them accordingly.

My husband’s ex mother in law wielded a lot of power and it was truly shameful what she did. Unfortunately it was something she had done before the split so he had no power throughout the marriage. His ex refused to take responsibility and separate herself from her mother.

[pinkHouses]

I don't know what that was. Follow the facts - this isn't a choose your own adventure. I was specific in talking about his case and overall outcome, not this non-issue.

The irony of your first posts in a thread called "Grandparent tracking my kids devices" and the "choose your own adventure" comment ....well there it is.


Overall I am curious about the same but waiting for those posts, maybe I will PM KCC and ask.

[Kkc]

1. basically for ss, her only option will be to take a buy-out as she will have crushing debt otherwise, short marriage and getting close to length of marriage, i want to give her the smaller buy out with a step down starting now

2. I do not expect to get ss back, but the credit shortens the overall duration, the other side piece is that her lawyer's legal action created significant prejudice against me and that has to be remedied

3. I will be very creative and likely maximize CRA tax benefits in whatever I do

4. right now it is 6/14 nights. I just want 1 extra night every two weeks and have a 2/2/5/5 and maybe week on/off in summer

5. we already have shared parenting 50/50 ndi on support now, so that extra night will have 0 impact on finances

6. I can only do the above if she actually communicates and wants to mediate, the more on lawyers the less i can help her. Part of upcoming motion will be...here is our letter with form 20 showing the bad situation, dad wants to mediate, it worked well for kids, they shouldn't waste money on lawyers. she email me back saying, she wont mediate.


the worst thing in all this, if I am discussing what is going on, so many women will say I wish my ex was a father like you, so many men given us bad reps

[StillPaying]

I don't know what that was. Follow the facts - this isn't a choose your own adventure. I was specific in talking about his case and overall outcome, not this non-issue.

I agree on the "equal" equalization and most likely longer payments... my comment was more towards your hopes of being repaid for all your ss/cs, etc. Big difference. But you seem to be ready to move on regardless and just focus on your kids - which is great. Are you still going for 50/50? That would seem to be the answer to most of your issues. And remember, your objective is to impute which you did - not get them employed.

[pinkHouses]

While you're so worried about yourself (and dads?) you fail to realize the 99.9% chance that nobody cares about you. We track our children and/or their expensive devices. There's no issue here except for what op is creating.

Such bias against a person based on their sex is wrong and so I show concern for mom's and dad's equally; ex-husband and ex-wives.

It was very offensive to me that you would take a complaint of being tracked (stalked?) and reply to them without merit by calling them abusive and controlling. Stalking is abusive and that is very much what it sounds like the ex mother-in-law is doing. Meddling is harassment and that is what the mother -in-law is doing.

I do not understand your point of view that a victim should not complain.

While KCC says they don't care that they are being tracked I think he should care and state that.

[Kkc]

and again, I do not care if my ex is tracking

it is more her mother meddling in my affairs

on sunday, she texted inappropriate comments about me to my daughter..this is wrong

I essentially was able to remove the tracking ability and advised her to not engage in any conduct that would affect my relationship with the children.
they may not care about fathers...but they care about children

[Kkc]

behavior is behavior

and unfortunately my ex has a behavior problem, it is very similar to her mom's behavior problem, i have to break the cycle and luckily through my planning and conduct, which you consider controlling, I was able to get the best therapist in the city to handle the situation. Our mediator even sent an email applauding how her and I came a long way to work together. She also sent me a private e-mail as reassurance that I was not forcing or controlling her that she gave her own voice to this issue.

I have actually expressed how happy I am to said therapist that my ex seems to be learning and is not projecting her views onto the kids. My messaging is simply, I want my kids to grow up as normal as can be and I want my ex to step up. When she falsifies that she is providing medical therapy for my son for his medical issues..i am serious, she falsifies it...I have to raise it

on the financial side of things, she had all her money and she spent it all, equalization is equalization, there is no basis for an unequal distribution of net family property, she has had income imputted PRE-TRIAL, that is insanely difficult. So she has to get to work.

Bear in mind when I write my posts, I write as fast as I can, I do not always provide as much detail as needed and most certainly do not spell check, so there are things lost in translation.

as far as results, if it works out for me, it works out for me. If I have to pay her longer, so be it. I only care about my kids.

The access issue and her family working together robbed my daughter of 16 months of her childhood with her father...how do you suppose they replace that? I only care about the rest of her childhood not being marred by conflict

I'm honestly worried about your case. In my opinion, you come off very abusive and controlling. Most of your posts seem to be speaking to your ex rather than asking questions. You'll say it's the law, it's the way it is... yet I don't think anyone here actually thinks you'll succeed with your hopes. Are you prepared for a very different outcome? And will you be ok?

[StillPaying]

While you're so worried about yourself (and dads?) you fail to realize the 99.9% chance that nobody cares about you. We track our children and/or their expensive devices. There's no issue here except for what op is creating.

[pinkHouses]

Typical for this forum.
The guy posts a link about a grandmother tracking his kids movements on his access time and some of his and they get told they sound abusive and controlling but not giving specifics about that while another poster tells them to brush it off. I don't wonder what would happen if Brampton33 or I said we were tracking our kids while they were with our female exes.

It could be the grandmother didn't have the EQ to communicate this was an honest mistake, maybe but in the end they did call KCC for the purposes of aggression afterwards and there is history.

Tayken had some good advice and I will take that a bit further:
Basically keep one set of tech for each residence. This includes phone numbers (forward between the numbers).
When the child is old enough they can have their own plan and devices not controlled by an adult.
Turn location services off at the account level, not hardware level. KCC may still want to track on their own time.
This can be done without a court order but it is certainly worth mentioning in an affidavit and obtaining a consent that tracking be considered a violation.


Tech wise:
1. Air pods work like Air tags (from recent reads). For Air Tags changing to an android phone or even not owning a phone will not protect you. They simply need someone somewhere to have a phone near them, could be the stranger that doesn't know you and vice versa beside you in traffic.

2.
Protect yourself. Apple has an application for both android and iOS that will detect such devices, install it.

If it was a man tracking his kids movements while the kid was with their ex-wife this board would freak but I believe because KCC is a man several on the board seems to be fine him and the child being tracked on his time. It is a theme.

With a hostile ex it is a hardship but a good idea to keep separate tech for each household.

I would advice KCC to gather a few articles and submit a technology profile with this affidavit and have a solution ready to propose for this (it could be sharing an account but changing the password with each exchange) this sounds very much like stalking and controlling, but not by KCC.

KCC simply has to do what most of us do check himself and not go on tilt and so avoid looking controlling. He can say one thing here and behave completely different in his real life.

[arbortrail22]

Why does it matter that the ear pods are tracked? My ex had an issue with the "find a phone" feature being turned on. This was on so that if the expensive phone is lost, we can find it. What's the big secret on where the ear pods go?

[StillPaying]

I'm honestly worried about your case. In my opinion, you come off very abusive and controlling. Most of your posts seem to be speaking to your ex rather than asking questions. You'll say it's the law, it's the way it is... yet I don't think anyone here actually thinks you'll succeed with your hopes. Are you prepared for a very different outcome? And will you be ok?

[Kkc]

Thx for input


1. Lawyer was planning on naming in upcoming motion

2. With regards to conduct. If they are doing all the leg work and writing the stuff, really no biggie, it is her team. My mom is a forensics accountant and she is good.

3. With respect to behaviour. Our recent order states rules of conduct for us, it extends to involve grandparents…ie grandma talks shit, her daughter is responsible to deal with it.

4. If grandma behaviour cannot be controlled then yes, her ass is grass in court


Here’s what i did…I went really deep into the phone settings and was able to remove her from tracking the device. I sent her an email that would be usable for court but to summarize was…I stopped what you are doing, don’t do it again, there are new rules about conduct, don’t ever interfere with my relationship or I will bring your ass to court and let you explain it all


Essentially it was punching th bully in the nose

It’s interesting all the antics and bad behaviour had grandma lurking in the background personally benefitting but left her daughter holding the bag

[Tayken]

Get them phones while with you and put those phones in a Faraday Key Protector Box. Amazon sells them. Basically, they will track to the box and then disappear.

Get unlocked Android phones and just move the SIM chip from the iPhone to the Google device while the children are with you. That way their number follows them and their SMS friends. Make sure you store their contact list to the SIM chip so it moves.