Joint Custody-husband Trying To Move Our Disabled Child Away Without Court Hearing

[SANDYHYLGRL]

Please, any advice would be appreciated;
My ex and I have a joint custody arrangement of our son, who is disabled; He is autistic and has benefited from our mutual co-operation in placing him first. We live in a small town that we moved to together before the split and divorce, and my ex has always stated he feels this is the best and safest place for our son to remain, of which I have to agree. He is only nine.
The problem is that this week I recieved a phone call from my ex, he has stated that he has problems with social services, relating to a claim he has been on four four years. He states that if they revoke his assistance from him he will be taking our son and either moving to the city we originally resided, which is 60 miles away, or to another city (I do not want to state it here) which is 400 miles away. He states he will have decided by summer's end, and tells me our custody arrangement can remain the same and no court need to be involved. (We have a current court-ordered arrangement for the past 13 months that has been abided by to the letter.)
Well, I do not know what cloud this man is living on, but I know this will be devastating to our boy, and to my relationship with him. It will be utterly impossible to have my son with me 400 miles from home, let alone 60. There have been instances I have recieved calls from his school to pick him up due to illness, when they could not contact his father, and I had to pick him up on a non-assigned day. I have my son four days one week and two the other. that is practically a 50-50 split, and one our son has adjusted to, and runs to my arms those days I recieve him. It is tearing my stomach apart to think that this man , who has stated to a judge, that this small town is in the best interests of our son, in order to keep the current order, and now that things are not going his way with social services, he has decided that now our boy can adjust to new surroundings, remove him from what he has been used to , not to mention the inconsideration and selfishness on his part.
I have told him we need to speak to a judge, take this to court and state our cases. He will not go, says it is not necessary, that "the order can stay the same." This man has stated to me two years now he will never leave this town, and now that his welfare is being cut because he refuses to go out and work, my son and I must pay the price.
Nothing has happened yet on his part, but I am terrified that he may pack and take flight with my boy, I have no car and would not know where to start and track him down should he do so. At the same time, I don't know if it is wise to seek representation over his pending decision, lest create animosity on his part, which will again, inadvertly affect our son. Our son has been thru so much already, I have not the heart to start anything unless absolutely necessary. Question is: Does he have the right to re-locate so far away with a disabled child, with no pending employment, shelter, and the like, and against our current order, and as well, without my agreement? Please, any advice is appreciated and will be considered.

[Kimberley]

Seek representation. Stop worrying about the ex's feelings, when he is more than willing to run off so he can live off social assistance instead of finding gainful employment.
I cannot see a judge allowing him to up & move with the child when he has no job prospects nor a place to live, that would harm your son more than it would benefit him. Do what you know is in the best interests of your son.
Good luck to you with whichever choice you feel is best.

[dadtotheend]

The courts will be very hesitant to move your kid, especially due to problems associated with the father. You're position appears strong. As said above, get represented and forget about Dad's feelings.

[SANDYHYLGRL]

Thank You Both

Thank you to both of you for posting your advice; It is very much appeciated, already I have lost three nights sleep over this, it is making me sick to my stomach.
I am calling for representation this week. Pls. understand, I do not care whatsoever about my ex or his opinion of me. We did battle last year in court for nine months, and it did affect our son. I just don't want to battle with this man again, my son is so aware of people's moods and my ex's attitude last year had my son in tears for almost a year until we did the order with the judge.
My ex seems to truly believe that he can just pack my boy up and leave, no court involved or whatever. He has not confirmed anything yet, however, based on what he has pulled in the past he cannot be trusted. I did not want to go thru the pain of fighting in court and having my son distraught again if my ex decides that he was not going to leave, however, I feel I don't have a choice here. I just needed to know if the court had a right to actually determine if this man can move my boy. According to my ex, they dont.

[logicalvelocity]

sandy,

Bring forth an emergency order with the courts to maintain the status quo and prevent the other parent from taking the child to a new location. In all it appears you have a material change of circumstance on your hands and most likely the courts will re-apply the best interest standard and maintain the status quo arrangement. I digress that the other parent may find themselves to be an access parent once the dust settles.

Reasons for the other parents move is a relevant consideration of a custody adjudication. Quite frankly, their reason to move appears to carry little weight.

Time is of the essence, and you should act fast in the matter.

lv

[SANDYHYLGRL]

Consider It Done

Thank you!
I am actually printing out your advice so I know what to request when I call legal aid tomorrow.
He stated it probably would occur by summer's end, but I do not believe him, my instincts are on full alert right now, and not for the better.
Consider your actions heeded, sir.
I am grateful.

Sandygrl.