What can I say about a pergurous deadbeat parent?

[summersimmer]

Hypothetical:
My ex is one of "those types". lazy, stupid, self-entitled, a sh*t parent and a deadbeat parent. Introverted Narcissist may give one an idea of them.

Judge: "Do you hate your ex?"
Me: "yes I do, they are have done a lot of bad and evil things that have irreversibly and negatively affect mine and our children's lives"

Judge: "Is your ex a good person?"
Me: "no"

Can I call them a deadbeat parent? They owe me about 30K in back child support so far because I am paying full table and they pay nothing (50/50 kids), with child support they make more than me, with spousal even more than that!

Can I message them:
"I am the only person supporting these kids. You have been employed for 10 months, you haven't contributed a dime in child support for 4 years. I shouldn't have to drag your ass in for disclosure and to force a change to the court order. Please stop being a deadbeat"

Yes, still hypothetical
Mostly I just want to pressure them.




thank-you.

[Hide on Bush]

Not a lawyer, but I would think that a judge wouldn’t care if you were lazy, narcissistic, introverted, stupid and/self-entitled if you were providing for your child appropriately. And if they aren’t, that needs to be proven. Calling the other parent out is likely to have the negative outlook be placed on you.

Here’s my question to you…

What do you gain by calling the other parent out in front of a judge.

You bashing your ex is a concrete way to lose all credibility.

[summersimmer]

In court I want to show what she did or didn't do. Very factual and let the judge think what they want in their heads.
If they ask me "is your ex a good person?" what do I say?

Can I message them:
"I am the only person supporting these kids. You have been employed for 10 months, you haven't contributed a dime in child support for 4 years. I shouldn't have to drag your ass in for disclosure and to force a change to the court order. Please stop being a deadbeat"

[Hide on Bush]

In court I want to show what she did or didn't do. Very factual and let the judge think what they want in their heads.
If they ask me "is your ex a good person?" what do I say?

I can't see a judge asking the most biased person in the room that question and expecting a reasonable answer to be honest.

Can I message them:
"I am the only person supporting these kids. You have been employed for 10 months, you haven't contributed a dime in child support for 4 years. I shouldn't have to drag your ass in for disclosure and to force a change to the court order. Please stop being a deadbeat"

You can message them whatever you want. Its a free country. However what does that message achieve other then to make you look hostile?

[Janus]

Can I message them:

Remember, your words can only hurt you, they can never help you. It is generally best to say as little as possible in writing, and anything that you do say should be incredibly child focused and cooperative.

Eg.

"I am an awesome parent" ... is that evidence that you are an awesome parent?
"You suck as a parent" ... is that evidence that the other parent is lousy?
"I fucking hate you" ... yeah, that's going to be used against you.
"You're a deadbeat" ... is that evidence that the other parent is a deadbeat?

Again, unless your words are exclusively positive, they will be used against you.

So to answer your question: You can message anything you want, but you should not do so.

[LMum]

In court I want to show what she did or didn't do.

What you show is that they didn't pay child support. Judges don't like that.

However I'm confused as to why you are paying full table amount and them nothing. Shouldn't there be an offset amount?

[rockscan]

In court you state the facts. A judge won’t ask you whether your ex is a good person. They will ask “have you received any support?” And your answer will be no.

If you pay offset, why are you paying them the full amount? You should be only paying the offset amount.

All of the other stuff is irrelevant. In almost all cases before the court one parent is lazy, obnoxious, crazy, difficult etc. It is why they are at court.

[summersimmer]

There income was zero because they were training at school. Less than 10 hours a week but they were almost due to finish after 3 years so my lawyer figured they could be have an imcome imputed shortly afterwards, then COVID hit, closed the courts, they said COVID would not let them get a job.
What was I to do?

[rockscan]

Ok then you don’t have offset.

If they couldnt find a job, getting an income imputted retroactively will be difficult.

[StillPaying]

If ex has no income, there is nothing to offset and you would have to impute. How is 30k owed, how are they a deadbeat, and why would insulting them make you feel better?