Father with full decision-making responsibility for 8 years currently (Daughter is 9).
Mother only gets EOW.
Daughter has recently been having nervous breakdowns (crying for hours, shaking etc). We have been asking why and she frequently tells us its because she doesn't feel loved by her mom, feels neglected, abused, and that her mom never listens to her. When I asked what she meant by felt neglected, she said that she feels she could walk out of the house and her mother wouldn't even notice her gone. While the above may seem trivial to most, its the impact it has been having on her that is my concern. This is also not an isolated incident and has been ongoing since September 2021 gradually getting worse and beginning directly after returning home from visits with her mother.
When I asked my daughter how I could help her, she asked if I could arrange a sit down between her mother, her and myself so my daughter could explain herself in a "safe space". I asked her mother if she would be willing to do that and her mother said no.
My daughter has also consistently told me she doesn't want to go to her mothers and has informed her counselor also. I know at 9 she doesn't have that say to make those decisions and its been difficult to try and talk her down before she needs to go, but I have been.
My Daughter is currently in counseling at an Interval House and suggested my daughter write her mother a note outlining how she felt. I asked her mother if she'd be willing to pick it up after explaining what it was, and her mother said maybe depending how long she spends at the gym and how she feels afterward. I explained that to the counselor who referred me to Maltby and their Mental Health services and suggested I speak with my lawyer to suspend access saying if her mother wont take my daughter's words seriously and attempt to make her feel safe, then I can help my daughter by showing her that I will protect her by preventing her from being continuingly subjected to her mother. I also got a referral to a Psychiatrist through Maltby to help my daughter.
The kicker is, her mother is currently seeking to have my daughter full time now and has been since September. Her motion to change only states some case law around how a mother should have maximal contact with their child. Also, the mother told my daughter that she was seeking to have her full time which has been causing these issues since September. We are waiting to see if the Office of the Children's Lawyer will accept our case and while we wait for that, there is no progress in the case (we have not even been given a date for a case conference).
I am not a lawyer. I seriously cannot afford a lawyer right now. I am receiving assistance from my parents to help me pay bills right now because all of my paycheck goes to my daughter after her mother drained me dry. I am trying to find a place that will offer me a free 30 minute session for assistance, but have not received an answer yet. I have contacted CAS and spoke with a social worker who suggested not allowing the mother to see the children and deal with the contempt after. While the parent in me agrees with this, I don't think that is the right avenue to take. Additionally, my daughters counselor told me:
"If you didn't send [my daughter] for his next visit: worst case scenario, Mom calls the police to enforce the order, if they show up and a child is refusing to go, they don't often force a child. If this can be on record, it could help you in court."
Again, I don't feel that's appropriate based on the vast amount of information I have seen on this forum.
I know I am not able to unilaterally stop access without an order from a Judge, but based on this, do I have enough to ask for a suspension of access so my daughter isn't required to go there anymore? If not, I understand as the bar is high, but if so, how can I word the motion and can I suspend it until her mother gets some sort of help through programs that are focused around her having a better relationship with my daughter?
Or is this all an overreaction from my part as I am obviously the most biased individual involved?
From reading the posts on here I know many people have been victim to false allegations which have resulted in loosing their children which is not what I am looking to do. I am just trying to help my daughter, but in a legal way because nothing else seems to be working for me.
I understand I condensed a life story into a few paragraphs and important relevant information may be missing, so I will gladly provide that if needed.
Mother only gets EOW.
Daughter has recently been having nervous breakdowns (crying for hours, shaking etc). We have been asking why and she frequently tells us its because she doesn't feel loved by her mom, feels neglected, abused, and that her mom never listens to her. When I asked what she meant by felt neglected, she said that she feels she could walk out of the house and her mother wouldn't even notice her gone. While the above may seem trivial to most, its the impact it has been having on her that is my concern. This is also not an isolated incident and has been ongoing since September 2021 gradually getting worse and beginning directly after returning home from visits with her mother.
When I asked my daughter how I could help her, she asked if I could arrange a sit down between her mother, her and myself so my daughter could explain herself in a "safe space". I asked her mother if she would be willing to do that and her mother said no.
My daughter has also consistently told me she doesn't want to go to her mothers and has informed her counselor also. I know at 9 she doesn't have that say to make those decisions and its been difficult to try and talk her down before she needs to go, but I have been.
My Daughter is currently in counseling at an Interval House and suggested my daughter write her mother a note outlining how she felt. I asked her mother if she'd be willing to pick it up after explaining what it was, and her mother said maybe depending how long she spends at the gym and how she feels afterward. I explained that to the counselor who referred me to Maltby and their Mental Health services and suggested I speak with my lawyer to suspend access saying if her mother wont take my daughter's words seriously and attempt to make her feel safe, then I can help my daughter by showing her that I will protect her by preventing her from being continuingly subjected to her mother. I also got a referral to a Psychiatrist through Maltby to help my daughter.
The kicker is, her mother is currently seeking to have my daughter full time now and has been since September. Her motion to change only states some case law around how a mother should have maximal contact with their child. Also, the mother told my daughter that she was seeking to have her full time which has been causing these issues since September. We are waiting to see if the Office of the Children's Lawyer will accept our case and while we wait for that, there is no progress in the case (we have not even been given a date for a case conference).
I am not a lawyer. I seriously cannot afford a lawyer right now. I am receiving assistance from my parents to help me pay bills right now because all of my paycheck goes to my daughter after her mother drained me dry. I am trying to find a place that will offer me a free 30 minute session for assistance, but have not received an answer yet. I have contacted CAS and spoke with a social worker who suggested not allowing the mother to see the children and deal with the contempt after. While the parent in me agrees with this, I don't think that is the right avenue to take. Additionally, my daughters counselor told me:
"If you didn't send [my daughter] for his next visit: worst case scenario, Mom calls the police to enforce the order, if they show up and a child is refusing to go, they don't often force a child. If this can be on record, it could help you in court."
Again, I don't feel that's appropriate based on the vast amount of information I have seen on this forum.
I know I am not able to unilaterally stop access without an order from a Judge, but based on this, do I have enough to ask for a suspension of access so my daughter isn't required to go there anymore? If not, I understand as the bar is high, but if so, how can I word the motion and can I suspend it until her mother gets some sort of help through programs that are focused around her having a better relationship with my daughter?
Or is this all an overreaction from my part as I am obviously the most biased individual involved?
From reading the posts on here I know many people have been victim to false allegations which have resulted in loosing their children which is not what I am looking to do. I am just trying to help my daughter, but in a legal way because nothing else seems to be working for me.
I understand I condensed a life story into a few paragraphs and important relevant information may be missing, so I will gladly provide that if needed.
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