Ex wants to ammend separation agreement

[nofrills]

Hi Forum.
My anti-vaxx ex is at it again. She wants to change our separation agreement with non-material garbage and says that she will pushing for emergency relief and says I'll be paying her costs when she wins. She's given me 2 days to respond. (3 days before Christmas too.)

I share custody and decision making, 2 kids (8 and 11)

her are her demands
1. She wants the passports. I currently hold the passports from our original agreement.
2. She wants the kids for Swiss National Day, even though she's never mentioned it before in all the years i've known her.
3. She wants to change our August long weekend schedule.
4. she wants to change our S7 expenses from 60/40 to 75/25.


if she files a motion, I want to counter with
1. Vacciantion for the kids, COVID and all provincial recommended vaccines.
2. For her never to talk to the kids about vaccines.
3. For her to disclose her Covid Vaccination status and employment status.

Ex is a teacher with a Toronto School Board, kids have told me she's not vaccinated. Kids have told me she is not working because of a sports injury, which happened just before the School Board cracked down on unvaccinated teachers. I have to conclude that she is on short-term disability. This is the 3rd time she's been on disability in 6 years, all for different things.

I just want to get the kids vaccinated and I'm fine with paying up on the S7 if it gets my kids vaccinated. But, I don't think I need to give into anything else.

Can you guys tell me what you think or any additional things I should do?

thanks again.

[pinkHouses]

I am not going to be a lot of help here and take what I say with a grain of salt because I could be wrong. What do you mean "if she files a motion"?

Her demands:
1. Your agreement says you keep them, that is what she consented to and it will be hard for her to overcome that.
2. Frivolous just to annoy you. Give it to her and ask for a make up day of your choosing.
3. This is a maybe...no idea what is in your agreement or why this is a thing.
4. If S7 changes are the same as CS changes she needs to file a Form 15: Change of motion. I don't think the judge is allowed to change CS. There should be a rule for this in the family law rules; check.

For your motion:
1. The board is saying this is a slam dunk. you really have to not be afraid of filing and this would be a good test run for you. Unfortunately, family court is a burden in your life now; you are in it, work it.

2. This is possible, ask for it but how will it get enforced. Maybe ask that only doctors are allowed to give guidance on vaccines so you look fair.

3. If she has to file a Form 15 this stuff should come out as she is required to provide pay stubs. As far as vaccination status goes tie this into #1. do you have anything for evidence about her position, social media posts perhaps?

Look up her union contract to see how many sick days she gets it could be a lot and she may be allowed to top up her pay with her vacation days to get 100% pay. That sounds like underemployment to me but what do I know.

Your ex is a raving bully that is shaking your confidence and who isn't afraid of court?

I do not understand why you only have 2 days to file a response, I thought court was backed up and you said "if she files". Is there a motion date? What day?

[pinkHouses]

Swiss National day is on August 1st. is she going to wear clogs to court to show how Swiss she is? It isn't in the agreement and it is close to the august holiday, she is screwing up your summer vacation.

Also be prepared with a settlement offer for her if she does but maybe your offer should simply state "bupkis".

Book a vaccination appointment for them a couple of weeks out. See if the judge stops you.

[Alpinist]

The August vacation its hard to reply without knowing any details. Is it important to you? If not, you could ask for another long weekend in lieu?

[rockscan]

I do love the cajones of litigants who do this “you have three days to comply” bs. Even if she was serious about filing a motion, nothing would happen until spring.

If I were you I would tell her a) she consented to you have the passports in your original agreement and seeing as you have been happy to hand them over when needed you do not see this as an issue; b) you are happy to provide the change in August but would like the following change yourself; c) you are happy to change the section 7 expenses temporarily however should her income change you expect it to go back. Then you tell her you have your own request and that is to take the kids for vaccinations. Look up the cases where it was awarded (specifically a case in Ontario called Burgess) and send them to her letting her know that should she fail to consent you will be filing an emergency motion for vaccination with a request to change custody temporarily as she refuses to adhere to public health guidelines. The Burgess case is one where the father was actually taking the kids to protests and the mother got full custody with supervised access to dad.

Then you let her do what she has to do. She won’t get a motion date for several months and when she does she will be blasted for wasting the courts time especially when there is no reason for her motion.

As for the rest, take a breath. This is all your issue with your ex’s beliefs. None of what you want is enforceable and she will keep saying shit to the kids. The more attention you pay to it, the more she will do it and don’t kid yourself that your kids aren’t reporting back to her like they report to you.

[pinkHouses]

Rockscan:

1. Wouldn't noFrills be better off if the ex refused the vaccination and he filed an emergency motion and ended up getting decision making?

2. Isn't a Form 15: Change of motion required to change the S7 expenses? How do they know what the exes income or employment status is otherwise?

Yep, 100% agree on ignoring this stuff but not so much on educating them on the law. NoFrills has buttons the ex is pushing.

[rockscan]

Rockscan:

1. Wouldn't noFrills be better off if the ex refused the vaccination and he filed an emergency motion and ended up getting decision making?

To get them vaccinated, yes and thats why I said reference the case law where people lost power due to stupidity. You could also take them without the knowledge and claim remorse. But the email requesting gives you the slam dunk.

2. Isn't a Form 15: Change of motion required to change the S7 expenses? How do they know what the exes income or employment status is otherwise?

Not necessarily. Many couples agree to change support and section 7 amounts annually without court. If he wants to agree on a temporary basis he can without the motion if they aren’t with an enforcement agency. Why waste time, money and court resources? He can also ask for proof of her income and status at work. Either way it’s really a bit of a waste of time. If he agrees to it, leave court out of it. If he doesn’t agree, let her file.

My suggestions are to avoid wasting the courts time and ignoring threats. Many people get caught up in “omg I have to go to court”. It’s not like that. It takes months. Not to mention if you are reasonable, there is no need.

[pinkHouses]

I agree Family Court is a tremendous amount of wasted government man hours + costly and consuming to those participating.

Basically, noFrills doesn't have to do anything for the CS item. He can ask for paystubs and employment status to help resolve the issue. If the ex says "no" they can file and have to disclose those items anyways.

Conclusion:
noFrills can rest easy over the holidays about the threats made.
Just ignore them over the holidays and feel warm.

Vaccination:
noFrills should not be mixing this up with the other stuff.
noFrills should book a vaccination appointment, ask for permission to get the kids vaccinated and wait for the reply. Then file in court for this one item and bring all the other vaccination stuff with it.

Bonus: if the ex refuses noFrills may be on the way to avoiding future major hassles with ex in regards to decision making vial sole decision making.

[nofrills]

thanks for everyone's input. I really appreciate it.

1. I've sent her an email asking her if she agrees to having the kids vaccinated.
2. I've asked her for her vaccination status and if she's not, if she's planning to.

I like
"Bonus: if the ex refuses noFrills may be on the way to avoiding future major hassles with ex in regards to decision making vial sole decision making."


Question: Wouldn't her legal counsel tell her she's fighting a losing battle with the vaccines and raising all this non-material garbage?

[rockscan]

thanks for everyone's input. I really appreciate it.

1. I've sent her an email asking her if she agrees to having the kids vaccinated.
2. I've asked her for her vaccination status and if she's not, if she's planning to.

I like
"Bonus: if the ex refuses noFrills may be on the way to avoiding future major hassles with ex in regards to decision making vial sole decision making."


Question: Wouldn't her legal counsel tell her she's fighting a losing battle with the vaccines and raising all this non-material garbage?

Her counsel could say a lot but she doesn’t have to listen. They could also see dollar signs.