Good lawyer in BC for a guy…

[UncertainT]

It’s been 3 years since I’ve posted on this site…
I’ve done everything I could, but it’s time.

I need a good lawyer, but I’m in BC (lower mainland)
Does anyone have any suggestions?

Also, pretty much scared shitless about this whole process. I’ve read several books and seen many videos suggesting guys can get royally screwed during the whole family court process…
How important is it to have a lawyer that is sympathetic to those concerns?

Any perspectives are greatly appreciated.

[rockscan]

Sorry you have made the decision to divorce. It is difficult and unfortunate but in the end you have to do what’s best for you and your kids.

Things aren’t as bad for men as they used to be but there are a few don’ts you should keep in mind. Namely, don’t move out of the house, don’t stop being involved in the kids lives and don’t engage in situations with your stbx that may compromise things. Always have your phone ready to record if you think she may egg you into a fight.

I can’t comment on a good lawyer. You may want to do a search on google for lawyer ratings. Also some searches on canlii if you see lawyers in ads. You mentioned before your ex was unemployed. Has this changed and is she capable of working? The pandemic has really helped with retraining programs for those without work. She may have some options.

This will now become a bit of a full time job. Read up on everything you can related to spousal support. This forum has a lot of good advice threads on spousal and shared custody. Pitch a 50/50 schedule. Your kids are old enough that they can handle that. Make sure you understand what you are entitled to and what you are obligated to pay. Not having a background on this could burn you with a lawyer looking for a cash cow. It also helps you avoid a long drawn out process. Start putting together a reasonable offer of what you want and a list of what you will settle for.

As terrible as this is, the other side will be devoid of the difficulties you have day to day with your stbx.

Many people get into the weeds on “unfair” and “I deserve” when it comes to money. Be reasonable and honest with yourself on what you can afford.

[standing on the sidelines]

May I also add.
Do not sign anything thinking that later when you have more money, you will get it changed.

Make a list of what you want, deal breakers and thing the you can say you want but are willing to use as bargaining chips

[ifonlyihadknown]

How screwed you may be depends on a number of things like how long you were married, discrepancies in your salaries and work, if one of you took several years off to be at home with the kids, etc.

A bit more information and the various people here will give you their 2 cents. Once you have some idea what you're in for you can start interviewing family lawyers. Most will at least chat with you for 30 minutes for free. Once you have a rough idea of the key factors in your case, a good family lawyer should be able to give you a ballpark idea of how things could turn out.