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Mother has rejected 14 year old daughter

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Alpinist View Post
    Is your daughter requesting her step mother adopt her?
    Yes, my daughter wishes for her step-mom to adopt her in addition to removing her biological mother from her life.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by HappierNow40 View Post
      I think a few responses have missed the fact that my daughter's mother sent both me and my daughter emails saying that she no longer wants my daughter in her life and does not want to ever see her again, yet she is still interfering in our lives, and demanding that as a parent she still has a right to be consulted on any decisions regarding my daughters upbringing.
      I think we all understood that. If the mother consented to you having sole custody, then you would absolutely get it. However, the mother is clearly interested in maintaining custody, she is just not interested in parenting time.

      Based on what you have laid out, the courts are unlikely to award you sole custody in a contested hearing.

      At this point, I am simply seeking some advice from a legal point of view what the chances of full custody are before I pay my $450/hr lawyer to start the court documents.
      Almost zero. You would have to demonstrate that joint custody is causing harm to your child.

      Some things that are NOT harm:

      1) You find mother annoying
      2) Your child finds mother annoying

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Janus View Post
        Almost zero. You would have to demonstrate that joint custody is causing harm to your child.
        Some people put an over-emphasis on what having "sole custody" means, treating it in a possessive nature, rather than what it really means.

        Sole custody means that you solely make decisions with respect to child's religion, education and medical decisions. It also gives you added leverage should you wish to relocate. That's it. It has nothing to do with parenting time. Zilch.

        Religion is usually determined in the early onsets of a child's life. So that leaves education and medical. So for the few and far in between circumstances, parents must consult with one another and make decisions jointly in these 2 areas. If parents disagree, they can seek mediation or other dispute resolution (for example through a parenting coordinator) to reach consensus on the disagreement.

        People put far too much emphasis on fighting for sole custody. Unless one parent lives 1000km away and/or both parents cannot communicate whatsoever (ie restraining order) then joint custody is typically the norm.

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        • #19
          Um... All these words are great and all but...

          Child is >14.

          Child can doctor and remove consent from one or both parents to make inquiries about their health and well being. As well, they can do this with the school but, it takes a little bit of understanding that they have the legal right to do this with the school. Medical professionals are VERY aware of this. In fact, "age" doesn't matter for most of this and is up to the professional to determine if the "child" has the mental capacity to make this determination.

          So, really what does "sole custody" mean after the age of 14. NOTHING. Cops can't enforce residential agreements. Why bother with legal "stuff" when the kid can simply do it themselves.

          Ugh... After 14 its not worth going to court over.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Tayken View Post
            Um... All these words are great and all but...

            Child is >14.

            Child can doctor and remove consent from one or both parents to make inquiries about their health and well being. As well, they can do this with the school but, it takes a little bit of understanding that they have the legal right to do this with the school. Medical professionals are VERY aware of this. In fact, "age" doesn't matter for most of this and is up to the professional to determine if the "child" has the mental capacity to make this determination.

            So, really what does "sole custody" mean after the age of 14. NOTHING. Cops can't enforce residential agreements. Why bother with legal "stuff" when the kid can simply do it themselves.

            Ugh... After 14 its not worth going to court over.

            This

            But I think it also has to do with getting the mother to stop harassing the professionals and embarrassing the child. No custody arrangement does that.


            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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            • #21
              Originally posted by Tayken View Post
              Um... All these words are great and all but...

              Child is >14.
              Fair enough. My comments are therefore applicable to all those who are hellbent about spending thousands upon thousands to obtain sole custody (of children <14) without understanding what sole custody really offers. Most often, parents are hellbent on obtaining sole custody in a possessive nature and as a mere means to retaliate against the other parent.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                So, really what does "sole custody" mean after the age of 14. NOTHING.
                I believe it affects passport applications and passport possession. The mother's signature is required on the passport application until the child is 16 if custody is joint. After she turns 16, the child can apply for her own passport.

                In the original poster's case, I'm guessing the passport application may be relevant between the time the pandemic dies down and daughter's 16th birthday.

                Right now D14 is legally permitted to, say, undergo a sex change operation without consent of one of the joint guardians, but she may not apply for a passport.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Brampton33 View Post
                  Fair enough. My comments are therefore applicable to all those who are hellbent about spending thousands upon thousands to obtain sole custody (of children <14) without understanding what sole custody really offers. Most often, parents are hellbent on obtaining sole custody in a possessive nature and as a mere means to retaliate against the other parent.
                  In 98.324% of the cases the "sole custody" request is exactly that. As well, in many cases, even clinicians and other professionals won't move forward with anything unless both parents agree despite a court order. Their professional practice requirements and ethical obligations are primary to their duty of care not a court order for "sole custody".

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by CoolGuy41 View Post
                    I believe it affects passport applications and passport possession. The mother's signature is required on the passport application until the child is 16 if custody is joint. After she turns 16, the child can apply for her own passport.

                    In the original poster's case, I'm guessing the passport application may be relevant between the time the pandemic dies down and daughter's 16th birthday.

                    Right now D14 is legally permitted to, say, undergo a sex change operation without consent of one of the joint guardians, but she may not apply for a passport.
                    You can sever the issue of passport nonsense from sole custody. No one will ever win "sole custody" on a passport issue. Ultimately, in the pandemic no one was traveling, passports are not needed and it could be years before people start to "leisure travel" again.

                    Travel is not important enough to fight over. Canada is a huge place, lots of places to go and see. Travel is the fight for rich people. 95% of separated parents have no money and can't travel.

                    Also if you fight over a passport in court the only people traveling are the lawyers because they will suck both parents dry.

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