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  • Soiled
    replied
    An update in the event that somebody with questions on this sort of situation comes across the thread.

    Assessment is still ongoing, it only actually started 3 months ago, and the assessor figures he will be done around the end of summer. It's a pretty ridiculous process so far, feels as though the assessor is just filling in the blanks on a pre written form most of the time. There was even a full day that consisted of approximately 1700 multiple choice / sliding scale questions.

    Entire thing feels as though its generally geared towards much younger children (mine are 12 & 14), questions involving changing of diapers, actions taken when the child is crying, etc. Observation sessions have included the board game 'Trouble' as well as lego and drawing pictures.

    What's astounding to me is that there is no questions for, or on, or interest in my step-daughter that my kids have lived with every other week for the past 9 years.

    Leave a comment:


  • Tayken
    replied
    Assessments are useless. They should never be used.

    Leave a comment:


  • cranberry
    replied
    When the judge granted my ex's request, he ordered that he choose three professionals but I got to choose. One could say the 15K was my "fault" lol. The assessment itself backfired on him. He was expecting her to declare our boys be removed from me immediately. She didn't and pretty much recommended everything I had put in my OTS. What a waste.

    Leave a comment:


  • Soiled
    replied
    Originally posted by cranberry View Post
    Wow, that's insane. The retainer for our private assessment, requested by and paid fully by him, was $15K.
    Her and her lawyer have been trying to make me give in to their demands by scaring me with how much family law costs. One of those scare tactics was to request that one of the most expensive psychologists in the city do the assessment, and saying I would have to pay half the costs. Backfired in the end it seems.

    Leave a comment:


  • cranberry
    replied
    Wow, that's insane. The retainer for our private assessment, requested by and paid fully by him, was $15K.

    Leave a comment:


  • Soiled
    replied
    In the end the EICC resulted in a consent order for the kids to be able to see a psychologist and one parent cannot remove consent now. In addition the practice note 8 parenting assessment will happen, with her paying all costs herself, retainer for that is at least $35,000. I have no idea how she is gonna afford that on top of her lawyers fees.

    Didn't have to consent to the PN8, but with how the judge was talking and how the ex seems to be bound and determined to fight a crazy fight, I figured I could at least come across as somewhat reasonable and at the same time make her eat the costs for now. The assessment should be very interesting with all the issues she's had of late in her relationship with the children. I'm going to make a separate topic for some of that though.

    Leave a comment:


  • Soiled
    replied
    Thanks for the input Clean, I appreciate it.

    Originally posted by cleanSlate View Post
    Avoid all phone conversations and limit all emails. Trust me it is cheaper than trying to reason with them.
    That's the most amusing part of everything to me. The first thing her new lawyer did upon being retained is send me a letter stating that if I attempt to contact my ex in any way, they will use that as evidence for a no contact order.

    Help her lawyer rack up billable hours by passing on routine kid messages? Done deal, not a problem for me whatsoever... Kids got a vaccination scheduled, that's an email to her lawyer. Confirmation of where the kids will be while schools done online, that's another email.

    Her bills are likely obscene.

    Leave a comment:


  • cleanSlate
    replied
    Here is my view on the assessment:

    1) They are a total crap shoot. Her lawyer will try to pick a lawyer that is favorable to your ex's situation and her being a woman. Your lawyer would try to pick someone with a predetermined outcome too.

    2) Your ex is manipulative as f**k. She will no doubt lie to the assessor and give them reason to rule for her.....fighting the assessment is expensive and draining and it is easy to get blindsided.

    3) Assessors are definitely include some very dishonest and stupid people and do everything they can to cover their butt to keep themselves from being sued.


    Parenting co-ordinator:
    1) Again, your ex will work to manipulate them and no matter what they say about "I can't be manipulated" that is bull. Many are.
    2) Your ex will hike up costs here but from what I know you can't be forced to have a parental co-ordinator.
    3) The good thing is that if your ex is provably unreasonable and you have the PC on your side it can help.


    From experience a PC with a manipulative and high-conflict ex isn't going to work so well.

    Your ex is trying to engage you to find something, anything even if not true against you.

    Avoid all phone conversations and limit all emails. Trust me it is cheaper than trying to reason with them.

    Leave a comment:


  • rockscan
    replied
    Just remember a limited scope retainer includes increased hourly fees. You may want to ask a couple of lawyers what their fees are for LSR.

    Like I previously said, it sounds like her ultimate goal is to move with the kids but has nothing but false allegations and ridiculous requests as her basis for requesting that. I would review cases on mobility as well as psychological concerns. Also prepare yourself to get reports from her trip to the ER and any other shit she claims.

    Your ex is an idiot in my view but for some reason idiots get a lot of rope in the court process. Hopefully your conference has a judge who is brutally honest with her. Probably why she has a new lawyer.

    Leave a comment:


  • Soiled
    replied
    Originally posted by rockscan View Post
    I dont understand what they are filing when you have a case conference coming up. Did she file a motion to change a final agreement and the conference in June is due to that? Why on earth would she file a different matter?

    If all she has is an er visit and some threats she is going to need much more. Clearly this is all motivated by her desire to move.

    Do you have a lawyer?
    Ah right I forgot to clarify that part. Along with the settlement offer, her lawyer was unaware of the conference in June, and has since withdrawn the new application for docket court. I imagine they'll try to dictate the conference into dealing with their increased goals now. Originally was just to deal with parents getting counseling or a parenting coordinator, and if there is time then they would look at child support.

    Child support is due to when she left the country for work for 8 months, she refused to pay it. I requested it of her multiple times, but never pursued it in court to keep the peace as well as just not wanting the headaches. Since we are in court anyhow...

    I'm speaking to a lawyer next week about a limited scope retainer. Spending years repaying debt from defending against her opportunism is something I'm hoping to avoid.

    Leave a comment:


  • rockscan
    replied
    Originally posted by Soiled View Post
    That's followed by a litigation plan, which has some oddities such as requesting financial disclosure of my wife, as well as questioning of her.
    Your wife is not a party to the matter and if you arenít claiming hardship, her income is irrelevant.

    Sounds like a scare tactic to get you to agree.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

    Leave a comment:


  • rockscan
    replied
    Drama never ends.

    I dont understand what they are filing when you have a case conference coming up. Did she file a motion to change a final agreement and the conference in June is due to that? Why on earth would she file a different matter?

    If all she has is an er visit and some threats she is going to need much more. Clearly this is all motivated by her desire to move.

    Do you have a lawyer?

    Leave a comment:


  • Soiled
    replied
    Thanks for the input Arbortrail. Very nice to read that the costs of the assessment had to be paid by the requestor. I hadn't had much chance to look into that aspect yet and had just assumed the costs would be split. I just finished looking through some cases on canlii searching for parenting assessment and mobility, and that seemed to be the trend in the couple I checked out so far.

    I can't imagine how terrible the process is for children to undergo. At the same time though, I wonder if it might not be worthwhile, as it could be a wake up call for the ex when it doesn't turn out favorably for her as she probably imagines it would.

    And yeah I agree that moving is a hard motion to win, especially as this is moving from Alberta to Quebec. She has family there that they've met a few times, but that's about it. Her only argument so far is that she and the kids would gain the support of her family by moving. They kids can speak maybe 50 words of French between the two of them, and the area she wants to go has very little English.

    Leave a comment:


  • arbortrail22
    replied
    What is the point of view around switching schools/community at 12 and 13? That is a very hard motion to win unless there is a major issue.

    We had a relocation case- 30 km.. judge agreed to the parenting assessment paid 100% by the requesting parent. It was awful- multiple difficult interviews, in house visits, interviews with every doctor ever seen by the parents and kids, every teacher, medications of every parent, etc. Took 9-10 months.... plus another 5k for a written report.

    This sucks for you and moreso your kids! The parenting assessor would bring them into the process. I wouldn't agree to involve your children unless ordered to....

    Leave a comment:


  • Soiled
    replied
    Offer to settle received now...

    Parenting assessment to be conducted at an estimated cost of 30,000 split both parties

    Allow mother to move with children to Quebec. They were gracious enough to offer to lower the child support due to the costs for me to visit the children.

    ---

    That's followed by a litigation plan, which has some oddities such as requesting financial disclosure of my wife, as well as questioning of her.

    Leave a comment:

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