When to Go Back to Court...

[enchantedowl]

I have been separated for several years and a few months ago finally reached a settlement a few days before our trial was scheduled to start. The separation agreement grants me sole decision-making in most areas (education, extra-curricular activities, health care decisions other than emergency situations, etc.). It has become apparent though that my ex is not abiding by the terms of our agreement - signing up the kids for extra-curricular activities during their parenting time and not informing me (I had made it clear I did not consent to extracurriculars until community transmission goes down in our region, we are still in "red" and one of my household member is immunocompromised and at high risk); removing the kids from school during my parenting time without letting me know (the panic when the kids didn't get off the school bus cannot be described); cancelling medical appointments I scheduled (during my parenting time); telling the kids I am "stealing" because they are unhappy with the amount of spousal we settled on; the list goes on. At which point is enough enough? Or do I have to tolerate this?

[rockscan]

Nothing in the issues would be solved by court. You have to figure out how to work with him.

Tell the school they are not to release the kids to him without your permission as you have decision making authority and can’t do that.

That’s about all you can do. By the time it got in front of a judge if you did take it to court, anything would be moot.

I have a feeling your ex is doing stuff to piss you off. Tell the kids that dad shouldnt be discussing these things with them and leave it at that.

As for the extra curricular activities...if they are being offered in your zone then they have safety protocols in place. If you are sending them to school then you acknowledge they are safe to be out.


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[Janus]

signing up the kids for extra-curricular activities during their parenting time and not informing me

In theory, since you have sole custody, you should be able to veto it. In reality, if you go to court saying "my kid should not be in this awesome activity" the likely result is that you will lose your sole custody.

removing the kids from school during my parenting time without letting me know (the panic when the kids didn't get off the school bus cannot be described)

A parent is either custodial or is not. If your ex is ever allowed to pick up the child, then the ex is allowed to pick up the child.

You cannot expect the school to track your schedule.

Warn the ex in writing, and then if he does it enough (eg. 5 times) then go to court.

Cancelling medical appointments I scheduled (during my parenting time);

If you have sole custody, just let the doctor's office know that your ex does not have the authority to cancel appointments.

telling the kids I am "stealing" because they are unhappy with the amount of spousal we settled on;

Nothing will stop that. As Brampton said, he would just outright deny saying it.

At which point is enough enough? Or do I have to tolerate this?

Things that directly contravene the agreement that you can prove (eg. picking the kids up from school during your parenting time) you don't have to tolerate for long. The more the merrier though, you want to show a pattern.