What rights for a biological father when he wrote to abort the child?

[Rosebud1980]

Several years ago a man and woman had a fling. This may have resulted in a pregnancy (there is a possibility the biological father is another) and when the mother texted the might-be father, he wrote back “abort it”. Then a few months later after seeing that the child wasn’t aborted, seeing Mom very pregnant, texted Mom to have a relationship with her whether or not the child was his.

Fast forward down the road, Mom wants might be Dad to take paternity. (Shortly after baby was born, might be Dad moved away, number changed, social media accounts deleted or blocked.) If this man is the biological Father, who has been absent, Mom married when child was a year, husband at babies birth and has been Dad since, (knows child not his- relationship after pregnancy) what rights now does bio-Dad have?


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[Janus]

A sexist reality in Canada is that a mother can voluntarily relinquish her parental obligations (through abortions or giving up the child) but a father cannot. The father's desire to have a child is irrelevant.

The usual stance is that sexual activity carries the risk of progeny. I think it stems from a quasi-religious belief that sex outside of a committed relationship is somehow immoral and needs to be punished. So, if you had sex, then you deserve to lose the $150k or so in child support payments.

You are not going to change that. Reality is as follows:

1) Father obligations

The father will have to financially support the child (likely through child support)

2) Father rights

Parent's generally do not have rights, parents only have obligations. Children have rights. If the father can convince a judge (or the mother) that it is in the child's best interests to have time with the father, then the father can see the child.

[rockscan]

Well if bio dad came along and said “I want to see my kid” you could turn around and demand child support. That might turn him off.

If you are worried about him coming back to take the child away, that has a high likelihood of failing and you have nothing to worry about.

If he does come back one day making demands you tell him he needs to do a paternity test first. If its positive then you tell him you want support.

I have to say though, for kids sake, to know who their real father is, might be worth letting him in a bit. Its confusing as a child but as the daughter of someone who has no idea who their bio dad is, it is pretty heartbreaking.


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[StillPaying]

Well if bio dad came along and said �I want to see my kid� you could turn around and demand child support. That might turn him off.
...
If he does come back one day making demands you tell him he needs to do a paternity test first. If its positive then you tell him you want support.

Access and support are separate issues, you can't prevent access due to support. You should be seeking cs now regardless of access, but bio dad has full rights regardless of past wishes.

[rockscan]

Access and support are separate issues, you can't prevent access due to support. You should be seeking cs now regardless of access, but bio dad has full rights regardless of past wishes.

That’s a given but I have a feeling OP is worried one day he will come along and make demands. At that time she should argue for a paternity test before doing anything.


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[Rosebud1980]

Well if bio dad came along and said “I want to see my kid” you could turn around and demand child support. That might turn him off.

If you are worried about him coming back to take the child away, that has a high likelihood of failing and you have nothing to worry about.

If he does come back one day making demands you tell him he needs to do a paternity test first. If its positive then you tell him you want support.

I have to say though, for kids sake, to know who their real father is, might be worth letting him in a bit. Its confusing as a child but as the daughter of someone who has no idea who their bio dad is, it is pretty heartbreaking.


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Support isn’t an issue.


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