Urgent Motion - Respondent requested Adornment - What to do

[flyingsnow]

Brief of my previous post:

My Urgent Motion hearing was on Jan. 11, 2021. The presiding Judge gave verbal direction that it was not urgent, although the Respondent was constantly and severely violating access order, overheld the child for over 3 weeks pass return time, involving the child (13) in the middle of conflict. The Judge's first question was "is the child returned to you", I said "yes, after I filed the Urgent Motion". The Judge said, the child was not in danger then, so it was not urgent, wait till Case Conference, date to be determined.

However, the Judge permitted both parties to file more affidavits because I told the Judge that the Respondent was giving false statements throughout his response. New motion hearing date is Jan. 27, 2021. Cost to be determined at such time.

So, for me, this is a losing battle, even I could prove that all the Respondent said was a lie, it still does not change the fact that it is not Urgent, because the child is now with me, and not in danger. I was planning to send Offer to Settle, even offer partial payment for cost such as $500 or $1000.

I received a request from the Respondent's lawyer today to adjure the motion to Case Conference. Given that I have little chance to win the motion on Jan. 27, 2021, I think I should agree. But if I agree to the adornment, does that mean I concede? Do I have to pay cost regardless? If I disagree, I still have more evidence that the Respondent threatened me personally, but not specific what the harm would be. Does that make my Motion Urgent? I really don't know what to do. Please advise.

[seeker101]

For clarity, is your motion a "motion to change" or simply an urgent motion asking the return of the child?

If motion to change, then are you seeking changes to custody and/or parenting schedule?

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[StillPaying]

Honestly, I would play dumb or at least speak with the other counsel. You brought the UM and was told to proceed with a case conference which you're doing, but you're not sure why the judge booked another UM. Do the case conference, then you can bring a regular motion anytime.

[flyingsnow]

For clarity, is your motion a "motion to change" or simply an urgent motion asking the return of the child?

My motion is an urgent motion, asking for Police enforcement of Final Order regarding child access.

The Respondent filed motion to change child support before that, which I opposed and requested imputation of income, the Respondent became enraged upon being served with my response, and everything fell apart from an already terrible situation.

[flyingsnow]

Honestly, I would play dumb or at least speak with the other counsel. You brought the UM and was told to proceed with a case conference which you're doing, but you're not sure why the judge booked another UM. Do the case conference, then you can bring a regular motion anytime.

I will follow your advice and consent to adjourn my motion to case conference.

What puzzles me is that, why the Respondent asking for adjournment if he is going to win the motion on Jan. 27, 2021, unless my consent to adjournment means I conceded that my motion is indeed not urgent. If that is the case, then I will lose my last fighting chance.

I will make it clear in my Confirmation, that the reason for me to consent is that, the situation was urgent at time of filing, after first motion hearing, the situation has been alleviated, so my motion can wait till Case Conference.

Does that sound reasonable?

[rockscan]

I will follow your advice and consent to adjourn my motion to case conference.

What puzzles me is that, why the Respondent asking for adjournment if he is going to win the motion on Jan. 27, 2021, unless my consent to adjournment means I conceded that my motion is indeed not urgent. If that is the case, then I will lose my last fighting chance.

Why would he win the motion? He withheld the child and you were seeking an enforcement clause. There is no need for the motion so agreeing to adjourn it is a no brainer. Not sure why his lawyer asked for that when the judge said the same.

Know that when you dispute his statements you need proof. For instance if you say he lied in paragraph xyz you have to provide proof. “In paragraph 17 of the Respondents Affidavit dated DATE, he states he overpaid child support by xyz. He has paid abc in child support which is in line with the agreement. Proof of payment can be found at exhibit c, a bank statement outlining the etransfers.” Type of thing.

Remember too to leave emotion out of it. Let him bluster and blow it wont do any good.


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[Tayken]

You have a bunch of issues that you face:

1. The child is 13 and will be 14 probably in the year. 14 is a difficult age for the courts as this is when most judges let children decide. The other parent in this matter clearly knows this and is setting up the child to make the decision and gain majority access and related child support. This is a common pattern of behavior.

2. A police enforcement clause was way too far of an ask especially for a 13 year old. SEE: https://www.canliiconnects.org/en/commentaries/26985

Your best bet is to make an offer to settle on all matters. The other parent in the matter will continue to influence the child to reside permanently with them.

Things parents will do:

1. Offer to give the child the child support paid by the other parent as an allowance;

2. Remove all sorts of "rules" making residing at their house "better". (They throw out reason and let the kid stay up all hours of the night, buy them all sorts of stuff... etc...);

3. etc...

At 13 you should be talking less with the other parent and more with the other child. You are going to have to become more flexible to the wishes of the child when it comes to the access schedule. If there is opposition from the other parent they will bribe the child... especially if they have the financial means to do it.

0-12 children are way different than 13-18 year olds. Don't apply the parenting and access orders used for younger children or you will find yourself being a "sometimes dinner with" parent.

If you want this issue to go away... go 50-50 2-2-5-5 or week about schedule and go to offset child support. The child will possibly vote with their feet if you don't and it will get super ugly, expensive and in 4-5 years the child will be going to post secondary education and the dynamic again changes. You could eat up years with this nonsense and alienate the child further.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[Tayken]

Why would he win the motion? He withheld the child and you were seeking an enforcement clause. There is no need for the motion so agreeing to adjourn it is a no brainer. Not sure why his lawyer asked for that when the judge said the same.

Age 13 that is why. The child was not abducted. That is why this motion is a horrible long shot and has a high probability of resulting in costs award against this poster.

Especially if the child is expressing they want more time with the other parent and it is an every-other-weekend situation. After 13 things change when it comes to children and access big time.

Cops will NOT force a 13 year old to do anything they don't want to. Specifically, they have no ability to after the age of 14. This is all rooted in the CCC 283.(1) and 282.(1) where the cut-off for "abduction" (parental) is 14.

Had the OP had a proper lawyer assisting in the matter this would have never went in as an "urgent" motion or even a motion at all possibly.

There is only one angle to argue on this one on is if the other parent is not encouraging the child to see the other parent. But, usually it is the majority access parent that is at the wrong end of these disputes.

Remember this fun one in the past?

https://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/do...2onsc2727.html

[StillPaying]

What puzzles me is that, why the Respondent asking for adjournment if he is going to win the motion on Jan. 27, 2021, unless my consent to adjournment means I conceded that my motion is indeed not urgent. If that is the case, then I will lose my last fighting chance.

I'm not sure, but it sounds like you have an UM and first appearance booked on the same day. Ex wants to skip first appearance and go straight to case conference.

You know your case isn't urgent, so I would agree to their request to replace UM/1st appearance to a CC. Don't offer or mention costs.

What Tayken said is important. Speak with a lawyer and proceed with caution.

[flyingsnow]

You have a bunch of issues that you face:

Things parents will do:

1. Offer to give the child the child support paid by the other parent as an allowance;

2. Remove all sorts of "rules" making residing at their house "better". (They throw out reason and let the kid stay up all hours of the night, buy them all sorts of stuff... etc...);

3. etc...

This is EXACTLY what is going on right now. It is bad for the child for the long run that the ex is "buying" the child. I have to come up with some creative ideas to "win" the child back, instead of trying to win the case in the court, I guess. Can't afford a lawyer anyway.

[Tayken]

This is EXACTLY what is going on right now. It is bad for the child for the long run that the ex is "buying" the child. I have to come up with some creative ideas to "win" the child back, instead of trying to win the case in the court, I guess. Can't afford a lawyer anyway.

I recommend you seriously consider 50-50 access schedule and moving to offset child support. Easiest way to end the situation amicably.

[flyingsnow]

Update:

My urgent motion is now being adjourned to Case Conference on consent, Respondent's First Appearance on Jan. 27, 2021 (tomorrow) is also cancelled by court clerk, because it is deemed unnecessary. Court clerk made it clear that Case Conference date would not be given in First Appearance regardless.

I will be requesting Case Conference to move the case forward, the Respondent will delay the process as much as he could, because he is not paying a penny for child support, and in default of equalization payment which was due in Dec. 2020. I need that money to fix my roof when spring comes.

But I am unsure how to request Case Conference. Should I go directly to the court counter with my Form 17 Conference Notice? or file form 17 in WORD format to trial coordinator to ask for a date and sign my form back? I would like to get a CC date as soon as possible, otherwise I might have to wait till summer.

Any advise?

Thanks

[flyingsnow]

Update:
But I am unsure how to request Case Conference. Should I go directly to the court counter with my Form 17 Conference Notice? or file form 17 in WORD format to trial coordinator to ask for a date and sign my form back? I would like to get a CC date as soon as possible, otherwise I might have to wait till summer.

For anyone has the same question as mine, it is actually quite simply. Contact trial coordinator, check what is the earlier time for Case Conference, then contact the other side to get 3 mutually agreed dates and send back to trial coordinator.

For me, the earliest Case Conference date is in May 2021.

[rockscan]

Wait, did you file a motion to change child support originally or was your motion the urgent access one?

If you file a MTC for child support then you would have a “first appearance” to set a conference date. That’s how it works. COVID has limited what is considered “urgent” but if you already had filed the motion for support then you would have received a first appearance date to set the conference.

So which is it?


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[flyingsnow]

Wait, did you file a motion to change child support originally or was your motion the urgent access one?

I filed the Urgent Motion for access, ex filed motion to change child support before me. My urgent motion was heard on Jan. 11, 2021 and was told to be heard again on Jan. 27, 2021. ex's motion to change first appearance is on Jan. 27, 2021 as well.

After my urgent motion was adjourned on consent to Case Conference, court clerk cancelled/waived ex's first appearance as well, and reiterated that Case Conference date must be scheduled with trial coordinator, CC date will not be given on first appearance regardless.

I know it is already a mess, even the Judge said that. Now to make it even a bigger mess, I received an email from ex's lawyer today that ex is going to file another Motion to Change access.