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  • Bad mouthing from OP

    Long time lurker, first time poster.

    A bit of background...going on 1 year since the physical separation and I share 50/50 custody with ex. The past year has been fairly high conflict and we can't seem to even resolve the simplest of things without an argument. Separation and Parenting plan was agreed to via mediation using lawyers, no court order.

    My two kids (aged 13 and 15) have repeatedly relayed to me some of the bad mouthing coming from the OP. Some of it is pretty bad, but thankfully neither kid believes any of it. I've confronted her about it, but she always denies it and says the kids are exagerrating. My kids seem pretty unhappy there and have been telling me for months they want to live with me full time. My relationship with my kids is pretty solid and I'm not concerned she's having a negative impact on that (quite the opposite actually...her behavior seems to be working in my favor).

    Recently, my son decided to audio record one of my ex's tirades and then sent it to me because he said he's sick of it. It's basically 20 minutes of her trashing me and telling the kids lies about me. I confronted her again, and she was only concerned with finding out how I knew what she said (no concern shown that she did the bad mouthing). Do I have any recourse here?

    I'm considering reaching out to my lawyer and am wondering if asking for temporary full custody until she undergoes some therapy might be realistic? There are other issues at that house that make me question her fitness as a parent, but the main concern is the stuff she's saying to the kids.

    Just wondering if anyone has gone through something similar and what the outcome was.

  • #2
    Just about every acrimonious divorce has this. Hell my husbandís agreement item number 2 said neither party will bad mouth the other or allow others to bad mouth the other in the kids presence. His ex did it and allowed all her family to do it. She even admitted things she was going to say to the kids. Bottom line is no you canít do anything about it.

    The good news is your kids donít believe it and donít want to be around it. They should also know they can stand up to her and tell her that it needs to stop and if it doesnít they will take their own action over it. Honestly your kids have a ton of power at the moment. At their age my mom did the same thing and if we spoke up she told us she would kick us out and we had nowhere to go (dad had disappeared).

    Delete the recording and tell your kids not to record it anymore. It canít be used in court and it just looks bad on everyone. Stop saying anything to her. If anyone is to say anything it should be the kids as they are at an age where their feet can do the talking. They could suggest therapy to her but it wonít work unless she is invested.


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    • #3
      Originally posted by randomUsername View Post
      I've confronted her about it
      Why? The kids don't believe it, so it is not a problem. All she is doing is annoying the kids.

      I confronted her again
      You must get off on drama. I cannot imagine why else you would do that.


      There are other issues at that house that make me question her fitness as a parent, but the main concern is the stuff she's saying to the kids.
      The fact that your kid recorded a tirade will not help you at all. If anything, it would make most judges question your fitness as a parent because you created a situation where your child thought this was a reasonable course of action.

      Based on that alone, we can probably conclude that you are hardly an angel yourself. Don't worry, I know you'll deny it here, but the truth is evident .

      Just wondering if anyone has gone through something similar and what the outcome was.
      If you managed to bring this to court in Hamilton and got that Pazaratz (spelling?) judge, the outcome would be one hilarious ruling. That would be awesome.

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      • #4
        I guess the consensus seems to be to let it go and take the high road, which is what I'll do.

        I'll take the same approach to Janus' presumptuous reply.

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        • #5
          At the age of your children, I wouldnít worry too much about it. They can basically decide with their feet. Who cares what your ex says... they are exís for a reason


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