Access & Visitation Restrictions

[smadax]

Update: June 2009 we FINALLY attended a hearing and the Judge granted interim order for supervised visitation and telephone access.

About 4 years in and out of the courts to get the order we needed!!

[logicalvelocity]

Have it well documented that you attempted to accommodate some sort of access for the child to their other parent.

The court will see why the access never occurred. Sadly, they choose to forego such and wait for a hearing.


lv

[smadax]

Thanks LV... as time has continued to progress I've been getting more worried about being in breech of our Order by not allowing visitation and access.

I do feel for the children, as a Mother and daughter I can sympathize. However I've been privy to the drama that continues with the bio Mother and am relieved that we're not involved.

[logicalvelocity]

That's my inquiry... we'd filed with the Court re: supervised visitation & access. During first appearance Judge suspended everything until terms could be negotiated with original Judge, which was assumed to be April 2008.

April date was adjourned by Defense Counsel as they'd been newly retained, but has since stated our suspension order is expired and his client is entitled to visitation & access... which means we're in breech, is that true?? If so, should be file a Motion to have the suspension upheld until renegotiation?? If so, why hasn't my Lawyer made that Motion???

MCFD have maintained the Supervised visitation is recommended due to ongoing accusations of drug use, domestic disputes, RCMP involvement, drinking and neglect of 11 year old stepson.... can't say I'm open to the idea of allowing unsupervised visitation nor telephone access at this time. But not getting any legal advice from my Lawyer whom I haven't been able to track down for an update over the passed 6 months!!

A few weeks ago I did speak to the bio Mother re: temporary consent agreement for supervised visitation and access via MSN messenger... but she's unwilling to accept those terms and would rather wait for a Hearing.

If the other parent would rather wait for a hearing (Make sure this is in writing) then it basically is up to them to arrange such. Don't be intimidated by the other lawyers allegations, threats or opinions.

[smadax]

Dilemma

Maybe it is just me, but I don't think a court would have a problem if the parties amended an existing order to facilitate some sort of access for the child. I only suggest this as it appears the existing Access order has expired.

That's my inquiry... we'd filed with the Court re: supervised visitation & access. During first appearance Judge suspended everything until terms could be negotiated with original Judge, which was assumed to be April 2008.

April date was adjourned by Defense Counsel as they'd been newly retained, but has since stated our suspension order is expired and his client is entitled to visitation & access... which means we're in breech, is that true?? If so, should be file a Motion to have the suspension upheld until renegotiation?? If so, why hasn't my Lawyer made that Motion???

MCFD have maintained the Supervised visitation is recommended due to ongoing accusations of drug use, domestic disputes, RCMP involvement, drinking and neglect of 11 year old stepson.... can't say I'm open to the idea of allowing unsupervised visitation nor telephone access at this time. But not getting any legal advice from my Lawyer whom I haven't been able to track down for an update over the passed 6 months!!

A few weeks ago I did speak to the bio Mother re: temporary consent agreement for supervised visitation and access via MSN messenger... but she's unwilling to accept those terms and would rather wait for a Hearing.

[logicalvelocity]

We've maintained the suspension for telephone access, which she has accepted. There has been attempted visitation, our Order says we're to recieve 24 hrs notice which she's ignored. At first we offered supervised visitation ... 2-3 failed attempted visits later I gave up and stated visitation is suspended until such time as it's renegotiated in court.

First attempted visit, no notice - regardless of the fact that the distance is approx. 18 hour direct drive, 24-30 hrs on the bus. I volunteered to supervise but stipulated the CL BF be absent, he's a known cocaine user with a history of causing needless conflict. I arranged to meet in a public park and upon our arrival we spotted her CL BF sitting in the grass, therefore we turned around and left due to breech of our verbal agreement.

Second attempt didn't work, but I don't recall the details.
Third attempt, she arrived 10PM with no notice and stayed in a Hotel within a block of our home. I offered supervised visitation, but when I called the Hotel in the AM there was no answer. I had the Hotel Manager knock on the door and there was no answer... so I went to work, assuming she'd contact me on my cellphone (she knows the number) but nothing. When I returned home that evening she'd left messages on the landline in the afternoon, but she'd since left town to travel back to her place of residence.

Now it's a waiting game with our Lawyers to see when we'll get a date for Hearing, I just don't wanna get into trouble with the Judge for not following our Order correctly in this situation and SO much time has already passed without any access or visitation with their Mother, I kinda feel badly about it!

Maybe it is just me, but I don't think a court would have a problem if the parties amended an existing order to facilitate some sort of access for the child. I only suggest this as it appears the existing Access order has expired.

[smadax]

We've maintained the suspension for telephone access, which she has accepted. There has been attempted visitation, our Order says we're to recieve 24 hrs notice which she's ignored. At first we offered supervised visitation ... 2-3 failed attempted visits later I gave up and stated visitation is suspended until such time as it's renegotiated in court.

First attempted visit, no notice - regardless of the fact that the distance is approx. 18 hour direct drive, 24-30 hrs on the bus. I volunteered to supervise but stipulated the CL BF be absent, he's a known cocaine user with a history of causing needless conflict. I arranged to meet in a public park and upon our arrival we spotted her CL BF sitting in the grass, therefore we turned around and left due to breech of our verbal agreement.

Second attempt didn't work, but I don't recall the details.
Third attempt, she arrived 10PM with no notice and stayed in a Hotel within a block of our home. I offered supervised visitation, but when I called the Hotel in the AM there was no answer. I had the Hotel Manager knock on the door and there was no answer... so I went to work, assuming she'd contact me on my cellphone (she knows the number) but nothing. When I returned home that evening she'd left messages on the landline in the afternoon, but she'd since left town to travel back to her place of residence.

Now it's a waiting game with our Lawyers to see when we'll get a date for Hearing, I just don't wanna get into trouble with the Judge for not following our Order correctly in this situation and SO much time has already passed without any access or visitation with their Mother, I kinda feel badly about it!

[dadtotheend]

Has she been involved?

[smadax]

** UPDATE **

Jan 2, 2008 Biological Mother had visitation & access suspended with the understanding we'd be back in court by April to renegotiate.

9 MONTHS LATER... we have not attended court!
For some reason this is getting me worried. Defense Counsel has stated the original suspension expired April 2008, is that true??

[FL_Needs_To_Change]

And our lawyer encouraged us to record every interaction and we have used them in court without any problems or statements from the presiding judge.

[jellyben]

Hello:
Well my son's Lawyer (in ottawa ont.) said that tape recordings were no good that the judge would not consider them.

[smadax]

That is what I've been doing, recording telephone calls with her knowledge. But, it hasn't helped because we don't find out she's misbehaved until AFTER the access has ended and damage is done ... we need solutions in real time for it to be effective in order to protect the children from her forked tongue.

We have also had intermitten issues with her speaking to the children while intoxicated, even though we've tried to create a safety plan with the children for these instances, they still don't inform us of these facts until AFTER the access has ended.

Not to mention, we've had court ordered mediation in an effort to remedy our concerns regarding telephone access which she's never attended.

I was expecting the Judge to grant the biological Mother some sort of access, I'd suggested MSN Messenger once a week and he didn't budge. I find that strange because we're encouraging SOME sort of contact and have only asked for supervised access and visitation, I wasn't expecting a lengthy suspension. It's hard on the children to be disconnected from their parents, it's not in their best interest and irrational especially when we're trying to negotiate reasonable contact, not termination!

Alas, maybe it's a reality check the biological mother needs to set her priorities straight in her dealings with her children, a gained appreciation. On the flip side it's regretable that the children also suffer from her actions.

I have a Notice which will be heard Frebruary maybe I'll request MSN again.
If not, I have pre-trial in March, before our hearing in April.

[standing on the sidelines]

why could you not get one of the recorders that tape telephone conversations? As the start of the call tell her it is being taped and make sure she ackowledges she knows what is being done. Not sure if this is okay but I think if the parties are informed that the conversation is being recorded, it is not illeagal.

[smadax]

telephone access

I forgot to mention that I did find two private companies that do offer supervised telephone access via three-way conference calling, at a fee of course. Just wanted to point out that it is a viable option, however in my town they charge $35/hour with 2 hour minimum!

That remedied my issues before about travelling across town.

[smadax]

court date

Our appearance today was uneventful, although we'd been scheduled for 1 hour we were in front of a Judge for about 5 minutes!

As previously stated I was confident the Judge would grant some sort of access, considering the Mother lives an extensive distance for visitation and already the parental rights were suspended for one month.... but I was wrong, these appearances never cease to amaze me because they are so unpredicatable!!

The Judge did not change anything, rather we were adjourned to April and everything stays the same.... strange!