medical notes and transportation

[Elomelo8387]

Hi ladies and gentlemen,
My stbx and I live apart from each other. Historically he has done most of the driving to see our son since he’s a preschooler. His new counsel is trying to coerce me to do all the driving and be liable for the transportation costs now. I’m willing to share some transportation but I have a medical condition that makes driving very difficult for me. Would a medical note from my doctor help keep the present status quo of him doing most of the driving in place? What evidence should I gather? Should I compensate with more holiday time with our child? Our son lives with me and dad sees him at most two weekends a month. Sometimes less. We live about 500 km apart. Please no judgement. I want to offer a fair settlement and just end this. However I do have genuine limitations and am looking for creative solutions! Thank you very much

[StillPaying]

It's common for the moving party to be responsible for access costs.

If you can't do it, then you would pay someone else to do it or pay your ex to do it. But others shouldn't be out of pocket for your choice to move.

I believe the going rate in Ontario is $0.58/km, which would be $1,160/month. I'm sure family court would give you a discount on that amount. But I would think at best $400/month in simply gas charges. Then 4 nights at your local cheap hotel per month, ~ $400.
So assuming he has receipts, it could be anywhere between $800-$1500 per month.
What is he offering? Could you pay someone cheaper to do it?

[Janus]

We live about 500 km apart. I want to offer a fair settlement and just end this. However I do have genuine limitations and am looking for creative solutions!

The father is not an employee being paid a salary by a corporation. The 58 cents per km figure is completely ridiculous.

Since father originally consented to the move, I think it would be fair to split the costs. That would be about 1000km each a month. That's about a tank and a half of gas for a reasonably efficient car, plus maybe some extra for the time spent on the road.

Depending on the age of the kid, I would offer to place kid on public transit, or offer about $300 a month to offset the time and costs of transportation.

I'm sure family court would give you a discount on that amount.

Family court frequently makes non-custodial fathers 100% responsible for all transportation costs. If I was the father here, I would take the $300 and be happy.

[StillPaying]

OP moved away but would prefer not to drive.

So if ex wants to maintain access he must drive 2000km and 4 nights at a hotel per month, and you'd be happy with $300?! Half is generous, $300 is absurd.

It'll come down to the hardship test and standard of living. What's the household income of both houses? Support? Debt? Kids? Etc.

[Elomelo8387]

Hi,

It’s not that I don’t prefer to drive. I have a legitimate condition that makes driving very difficult. I have already been sharing the transportation on the fathers holidays but I see it being problematic in the future. Besides it’s not like the father has been consistently pursuing his access. He’s not coming two times a month regularly. Again I’ll probably let’s my lawyer figure this out as ex is clearly trying to hardball me. In terms of household income and stuff. Ex makes significantly more and appear to inflate his experiences. I have been living modest to my means. Both of us have similar debt

[Janus]

So if ex wants to maintain access he must drive 2000km and 4 nights at a hotel per month, and you'd be happy with $300?! Half is generous, $300 is absurd.

$1500 a month for access costs is also absurd. At that price, access should probably be one weekend per month, with some extended time in the summer.

That said, even 4 nights in a motel (at $70/night) plus 3 tanks of gas ($60/tank) is just $460. If the parents split it (since, remember, the father did not complain when mother first moved away) then that's just $230. You can tweak my numbers slightly but it isn't going to change much.

I suggested $300, that's still a nice offer.

Anyhow, this is mostly a waste of time. Father should have fought the move, but he did not. Now he has a stark choice: He can either move himself closer to the mother, or accept that he will not have much of a relationship with the kid.

[standing on the sidelines]

Hi,

It’s not that I don’t prefer to drive. I have a legitimate condition that makes driving very difficult. I have already been sharing the transportation on the fathers holidays but I see it being problematic in the future. Besides it’s not like the father has been consistently pursuing his access. He’s not coming two times a month regularly. Again I’ll probably let’s my lawyer figure this out as ex is clearly trying to hardball me. In terms of household income and stuff. Ex makes significantly more and appear to inflate his experiences. I have been living modest to my means. Both of us have similar debt

Careful with using a doctors not that you have a medical reason that interfers with your driving. Not sure if the doctor would then have to report it to MTO and then they may yank your licence.