Am I screwing up if I move out before agreement is signed?

[UnderPressure]

Here is the situation:

Negotiating separation agreement. Told the kids. Both still in the matrimonial home. Brown owners both on the mortgage. We both want me out ASAP. Planned for today. Plan was to have signed parenting agreement first. 50/50. Have not gotten in to the financial piece yet.

Here is my question. Is it OK for me to move out with the parenting agreement almost complete with a legal mediator? If I move out and she backs out before signing am I in a bad position? How important is possession of the home?

I wasnt able to speak to my lawyer end of last week as planned. Should I hold off until I do and keep sleeping here? Am I taking a huge risk or is it not a big deal?

Ideally I’d have a completed agreement signed before moving out but it has dragged on with COVID-19. I am most concerned that she might just keep the house indefinitely and not sell as she has told me and tie up my equity for a very long time.

Any advice appreciate. It’s going down today so any timely feedback will be appreciated.

[standing on the sidelines]

I would stay until matters are settled. She can (and has warned you already) that she may try to delay the selling of the house.

[shellshocked22]

Short answer : STAY in the house (ideally get a separate bedroom) until the separation agreement is finalized. Why?


-while you both are in the home, the law considers you both to have 50 50 sharing of kids. Once you move out, SHE now has primary custody. Courts are big on "status quo" so once you effectively give her primary custody of kids by moving out ; and if she fights you on 50 50 of kids, it's now much tougher for you to win the 50 50 of kids. Odds are high she'll try to fight you on the 50 50 custody once her lawyer tells her of major cash advantage for HER if she gets over 60% custody of kids.


-incentive ! I can appreciate things are uncomfortable for you both right now living in the same home and both of you are likely motivated to get things finalized asap. Once you move out, the incentive lowers for her to quickly get things finalized


As always, make sure to get a GOOD family lawyer.


Hope things work out for you

[Janus]

Imagine you move out, she decides never to sign it AND also changes the locks.

Further imagine you get a court date two years from now.

If you are ok with that, move out. If not, stay home.

[Integrity07]

Stay in the House! My partner's ex did the same thing. She was all nice to him until he moved out... not even a week later she hired a lawyer and asked for the house, support etc. Then the worst part was she claimed sole custody blaming my partner that he left the kids full time in her care... !

Taken him 3 years on court just to get the promised 50/50 access and joint custody..and still in court because she still wants full custody!

He regrets moving out of the house!