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  • Modifying child support

    I have a few questions about modifying a court order for child support. We have a court order that dates back to 2015 so many things have changed since but I have no idea where to even begin to ask for modifications. I have tried to talk with my ex to have this done without having to hire lawyers but she will not listen. We have 4 kids together, 3 of which are now adults. The oldest is 21 and quit university just before the end of her third year last february and moved in with me then so I don't think it is normal that I am still paying her mom for her. The second and third oldest (20 and 18)are away at university and they have their own apartment together, they come back to their mother's for the summer months. The 20 year old is in his third year of university and is going for a doctorate which will take 8 years to complete and the 18 yo is in her first year and still has 5 more years to go before she completes her program. The youngest is 11 and lives with his mother and I see him every second weekend because we don't live in the same city. I only have a grade 12 education and don't have a very good paying job (48000$/year). The two children living away are paying for their own apartment, food, school... everything, mom doesn't help financially but is still receiving cs for them. My questions are, should I still be paying full support? Also, will a judge ask a parent with a grade 12 education to pay for his children to get a doctorate? What are my options in regards to having changes made? Do I need a lawyer or is it simply a matter of filling out a few documents? Thank you for your time!

  • #2
    I am curious what the answer will be here, I would think if the "child" leaves home, child support should be paid to the "child" not mom. This is what I will do hopefully. Its the kids money, not mom's as long as they are outside the home, so I would think.

    "Also, will a judge ask a parent with a grade 12 education to pay for his children to get a doctorate? " I would certainly think so! Kid can have a good education.

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    • #3
      "Also, will a judge ask a parent with a grade 12 education to pay for his children to get a doctorate?
      Highly unlikely. Usually it's just to the first degree.

      Comment


      • #4
        Modifying child support

        Post secondary is entirely grey but for the most partócs is not paid for a kid away at school and you are obligated to pay until first degree or 22.

        If your kids arenít living at home cs should not be paid as you are paying their school expenses. If she comes at your for your share of them, you subtract the cs that is paid. Or you can try to stop cs but you will be on the hook for your share.

        As for any additional degrees, the answer is no.

        ETA you dont pay cs for the kid living with you.

        Also, if you arent with FRO or any other enforcement agency you just pay her for kid 4. If you are, you need a motion to change but you should do a calculation on the expenses of kids 2 and 3. Put together the cost of tuition, books, rent and food. Try to estimate how much grant money they would get (OSAP has an online calculator), subtract that from the total. Then split the remaining 2/3 proportionate to income. If that is less than cs for 8 months then fight her on it. If not, pay the cs and dont pay the school expenses.

        You should know, my husbands share of school expenses at 50 grand was about $5000 per year at an even split. If you cs for each kid is that or more then stop cs but if its less than five grand, shut your mouth.
        Last edited by rockscan; 01-27-2020, 07:51 PM.

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        • #5
          Thank you for your answers, it is appreciated. There is one more thing I'm unsure of, I will be moving in the same city where kids 2 and 3 live (the ones attending university) in a few months and they would like to move in with me rather than keep their current apartment and of course I would love that too but my question is, would the child support change? I suppose I would then pay her for the youngest who lives with her and she would pay me for the two living with me? I ask because I would not be able to afford to keep paying the same cs amount I am currently paying plus getting a larger apartment to accommodate all three of us, food and everything that would come with doing this.

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          • #6
            Child support is paid to the parent where the children reside. If you move to the city where the 2 middle children live and they move in with you, while they are attending full time school, your ex would have to pay you child support for those 2 children. What would happen in this scenario is that you would pay your ex child support for the youngest, and she would have to pay you child support for the 2 older children that remain in school. You should read about the CRA and the Offset issues people are having here when coming up with the wording for payment of c/s.

            Neither you, nor your ex, should be paying child support for the oldest child. They are no longer a "child of marriage" as defined in the legislation as they are over the age of 18 and no longer in full time school.

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            • #7
              Is it a very long process to have the cs modified and what do I need to do in order to do so? I will be self representing as I cannot afford a lawyer so I'm really in the dark as to which forms to fill. Thanks again for your answers!

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              • #8
                Are you with an enforcement agency? If yes you need to file a motion to change. Depending on the province they will be on the attorney generals page. Fill that out with all the relevant documents like a financial statement and file it and serve her.

                If you arent with an agency, stop paying for the kids and file for support from her.

                Is it going to be a lot of cs? If it isnít it may not be worth it although she would also be on the hook for kids school fees. You could also tell her how much you owe her monthly and how much she owes you and if there is any money you owe, just pay her that. For instance you pay her $500 a month for one kid and she pays you $400 a month for two kids, therefore you pay her $100.

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                • #9
                  Yes FRO is collecting the payments from my account so I can't just stop paying. So if I understand well, I simply file a motion to change for cs and I can also include part of the tuition fees in there as well or is that a different document I need to fill out?

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                  • #10
                    No you file the 15 (i think its 15a) and you can include the expenses. Remember though you need to subtract the tuition grants, figure out what the kids share of the expense is and then calculate her share and put that number in NOT the full expense.

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                    • #11
                      Thank you all for your answers. I have one more question, kids 2 and 3 will be moving in with me in a new apartment in about two months and since we will need a larger apartment the cost of rent will be a lot more than what I am currently paying and with the cs I'm paying right now it will be very difficult so I was wondering if it's possible to ask FRO for a stay on payments until the cs is modified in court or if I have to keep paying cs for them in the meantime even though they are living with me?

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                      • #12
                        You can ask but until it changes with an order they may not be able to do it. Make sure you request a temporary order to stop cs enforcement by FRO.

                        Your kids should also contribute to expenses. If they lived away from home they would be paying a third of their living costs. Some parents donít make their kids living at home pay but if your finances are so tight it may be necessary. I paid rent while living at home and going to university. It wasnít pleasant but we needed to contribute to household expenses as my mom was on disability and it didnt cover us once we aged out.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                          Make sure you request a temporary order to stop cs enforcement by FRO.

                          Do you mean asking the court or FRO?


                          Also, my income has gone up a bit since the court order in 2015 but she never requested my financial information and nowhere in the court order does it say anything about disclosing this information at any time, can she ask for retro on this even though she never asked before? I just read on a different post that you are required to provide this information yearly but I wasn't aware of this.

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                          • #14
                            Under the federal guidelines you are obligated to provide updated financial information to ensure cs amounts are correct. Just because she doesnít ask doesnít mean you donít tell her. You would be considered blameworthy in the eyes of the court for not sharing that info. Her not asking only has an impact on the amount of retro she would get.

                            My advice (and Im not a lawyer), calculate what you should have been paying in the years since the order and apply it to your current situation. For instance, if you owe her $1000, figure out how much cs she would pay you and start the cs at that month. If she would pay you $250 a month, put your cs request four months after the kids start living with you.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Dad needs advice View Post
                              Do you mean asking the court or FRO?.

                              The court. On the forms there is a question about asking the court for a temporary order. Put in that part and order to stop enforcement by FRO. When you appear, stress to the judge that require the order as you are overpaying FRO and you will not receive those funds back.

                              Comment

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